Disciplining a 12 month old sensative child

[Anonymous]

I understand that every child is very different but any advice would be appreciated. My son starts to cry every time you tell him "no" to naughty behavior. That might be a exaggeration but mainly things like climbing on top of coffee tables, trying to turn on the stove, dropping items in the dog bowl. Those kind of things. 1. When does discipline really sink in from one episode to another for most children? and 2. How do I get him to understand that no isn't because I am being mean?

[Anonymous]

You should gently but firmly say "no" when your child does something unsafe or something you don't want him to do, but then immediately redirect child to something else -- ie, give the child a toy, show him something sparkly, read him a book, take him outside, etc. The child just needs some appropriate stimulation and absolutely cannot understand "discipline" at this age, nor will he think you are mean. Just use a firm voice and immediately get him interested in something appropriate. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

This is exactly what I do. He looks right at me and within seconds he drops the lower lip and starts sobbing. The redirect is then replaced by a hug and snuggle for a minute before he will continue to play.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP on distraction. And that discipline is not appropriate for this age. Save the big 'no's' for dangerous things. You're at a tricky stage when they start to get into everything. Sounds like your DC is very sweet, though!

[Anonymous]

I think 12 months is too young to expect an appropriate reaction to "no." I agree that distraction, and removing him from the situation, are your best bets. Baby proof more if that means having to intervene less - easier on both of you. You can start modeling and talking about appropriate behaviors, but he won't understand until at least 18 months, and they don't have impulse control until they much older than that.

[Anonymous]

We saved "no" for things that are explicitly dangerous (getting near the stove, etc.).

At that age, it is still the parents job to create a safe environment for a child to be able to explore. Take a look around your home and remove or move anything that you don't want your child to be exploring. Otherwise, go with the flow, encourage exploration, don't sweat the small stuff (do you really care if they unroll an entire roll of toilet paper once or twice?), and, when necessary, either substitute play items or pick the child up and move them somewhere else or take them with you to see what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP on distraction. And that discipline is not appropriate for this age. Save the big 'no's' for dangerous things. You're at a tricky stage when they start to get into everything. Sounds like your DC is very sweet, though!

There is nothing wrong with saying no at any age, even if they don't comprehend exactly what your saying. If they cry, they cry, and they will be on to something else pretty soon. You can start setting the path of guidelines early and they will continue to comprehend as they get older.

[Anonymous]

We saved "no" for really dangerous things. Instead we tried to use reactions that included a little more information in hopes that the child would eventually understand what it was that he/she wasn't supposed to be doing. For example, dropping things on the floor from the high chair = "not on the floor" or putting things in their mouth = "not in your mouth." Just saying "no" doesn't really do much - it will grab your child's attention for a second, but soon it will just go through one ear and out the other if you continue to say it over and over again. They don't really understand why you're saying "no" all the time. I believe it helps to reply with simple statements like the above that provide just a little more guidance or explanation to the child.

[Anonymous]

I try not to us the word "no"often. I instead say"hot","hurt baby", "gentle",etc.I also say what I want my dc to do and refrain from only saying what I don't want them to do.