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mortified - caught pumping
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Anonymous
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I used to have a 100% offsite officemate, so always happily pumped in the privacy of my own office. I got a new officemate assignment a few week ago, so resign myself most days to trekking across our company campus to the lactation room. I saw on my officemate's calendar that he'd be out in a meeting until 1, though, so I started pumping ~11:30 assuming I'd be done way before then. He walked in 5 minutes later. Ack! I had the door closed and had my back to it, but he definitely heard the pump. He mumbled an apology asking if the door was closed for a conference call, and I said "no, it's ok" with my back turned, quickly turning the pump off. I was able to put my milk away and cover up while facing away, but he's probably curious what I was doing so surreptiously. I am so mortified and the two of us have been sitting in silence at our desks ever since. Do I owe him an explanation? He's a 22-year-old who just started, and I barely know him (we share an office but are on two different teams organizationally) so this is a conversation I so don't want to have!
Off to the lactation room from now on... |
Anonymous
I say, don't ask and don't tell 
You can laugh about it together in a few years. |
Anonymous
| Seriously speaking, why is pumping treated like such a taboo topic??? You pump to feed your baby not for your pleasure! So why view nourishment for your child like it's a topic you can't discuss. Sure, if your officemate saw you naked then that's a different story. But if he just hears the pump, I don't see what the big deal with telling your officement (or anyone for that matter) that you pump in order to feed your baby. |
Anonymous
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I pump at work also - unfortunately I have to do it in a conference room because we do not have a lactation room at work. When caught, I just tell the truth - and now people just laugh & make jokes about me . Everyone knows I am a mother. My advice, since this is your office mate we are talking about - yes, talk to him and tell him what u were doing, it will break the uncomfortable silence. There is no shame in what u were doing at all!
Just on that note also, I have to go through security at work, and once in a while I get asked about my pump, and I had to say in front of the entire line of people behind me that yes, it is a breast pump! )
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Anonymous
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If you make a big deal of it, then he will too.
So, address the situation point blank and give a clear and concise explanation ("I'm nursing my newborn...even at work nature calls, but I will be using the lactation room so if you need me...") and leave it at that. |
Anonymous
You might also let him know that in the future you will leave a note or some sort of sign on the door so he knows you are pumping, in case there are changes with his schedule. But... that you will also work to accommodate the schedule and pump when he isn't around or in the lactation room. |
Anonymous
| I agree that you shouldn't feel bad about it - he probably has no idea what a breast pump is anyway! I was very open with my work colleagues about it (I pumped in my office, door shut, with a shawl covering me). Everyone knew what I was doing and nobody cared. I even had a few colleagues (male) knock on my door while I was pumping and come in. When I told them I was pumping their (independent) responses were basically "we don't care if you don't care" (they are both MDs and have seen it all - even though the only thing that gave it away was the sound of the pump). You should not feel ashamed of pumping at work, and moving to the lactation room several times a day can be a real pain in the butt. I'd just tell your colleague what you were doing & tell him in future you'll put a note on the door. |
Anonymous
| Thanks ladies - I guess part of my nervousness is that Ds is not a newborn - he's nearly one. Yes, I'm proud that we're still nursing and I wouldn't hesitate to nurse in public (just did at a park this weekend), but for some reason talking about it at work makes me self-conscious. It's probably due to the fact that I haven't found a single mom friend/coworker that's pumped this long, so I worry about defending my choice. Which I know is stupid b/c honestly, a 22-year-old guy is not likely to have any opinion! |
Anonymous
Good for you that you have kept pumping up this long. |
Anonymous
| I know what you mean, I pumped until my dd was 18 months, and I only stopped because I got pg with #2, and my supply was pretty nil. But please don't feel nervous about talking about it. As LLL says, the more we talk about it, the more society will get used to it, and it will help the next round of mothers out who want to do the same. |
Anonymous
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also, most 22 YO guys will not know the difference in terms between an infant, toddler etc etc
So just tell him - you never know - maybe his mom is a LLL leader
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Anonymous
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Here is my "almost caught pumping" story...A few times I resorted to pumping while driving. My work had recently instituted a "no left turn" into the parking lot policy during certain hours. It was minutes past the "no turn" time and there I was proceeding to turn left...with the pump, um...pumping away. This particular day the police were in the parking lot enforcing the "no left turn" policy. I saw the officer pulling cars over and making eye contact with me. Yikes! I quickly yanked the steering wheel to the right and proceeded to drive down the main road rather quickly. I made a bunch of turns into a neighborhood (pulled over and stopped the pumping ) and waited for awhile before going to work. I've always followed the "no left turn" policy since then!
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Anonymous
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FWIW OP, I would feel awkward talking to a 22 year old kid -- I mean man -- about the fact that I was pumping breastmilk.
It'd be different if he was a dad. (I'm assuming not?) I'm not saying you shouldn't have a conversation with him, just that I completely understand the awkwardness. And unless you talk to him about it, I'm guessing he would have no idea what this is all about. (I don't even think I knew you could pump breastmilk until, well, my friends started having babies when I was around 34.) |
Anonymous
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He's 22 -- surely with NO clue about breastfeeding issues. I say let it go, don't mention it, and be friendly about other stuff. Of course, use the lactation room from now on....
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Anonymous
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What's the big deal?
It's not like he caught you at your desk using a vibrator! 
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