Cat scheduled for euthanasia on Saturday-what to tell kids?
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Anonymous
| Our cat is dying. I am heartbroken, as is DH. I won't go into the details of her failing health, but we have euthanasia scheduled for Saturday morning (if she doesn't pass away before then). My 3yo DD is extremely attached to her, but totally doesn't understand that she is dying. My almost 5yo, very sensitive, DS understands that she is sick and knows that she is dying enough to get very sad and tearful about it. I don't know the extent of what he understands about death, but it's enough to make him very sad. So, what should I tell the kids? Should I let them know before I take her to the vet that she won't be coming back, or just say afterwards that she died while she was there? It's going to be so sad--both my husband and I cry every time we talk about it. Anyone BTDT? |
Anonymous
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Definitely prepare them beforehand. It would be too shocking for you to walk back through the door without Kitty and they need to be prepared for that and have a chance to say goodbye.
Since they know that Kitty is sick, tell them Saturday after breakfast that Kitty is going to the vet and the vet is going to give her some medicine to put her to sleep forever. She is not going to wake up because she is too sick. The medicine is only for cats and dogs and people doctors do not do this. It's time to say goodbye and give her a kiss (they can blow her a kiss if she's too grouchy to be touched). Kitty is ready to say goodbye and she loves them very much. Yes, it is sad, and you will all always remember Kitty forever. Sorry, OP. |
Anonymous
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Agree that it's good to prepare them as PP suggested. Our kids were a little older when our dog died, but they -- and we -- took comfort in reading Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant, who also wrote -- handily enough -- Cat Heaven. More ecumenically, we also spent some time just cuddling on the couch. looking at photos of our dog and recalling happy memories of him. We framed some and added them to a wall of family pix we have in an upstairs hallway.
HTH -- sorry for your loss, OP. |
Anonymous
This is excellent advice, OP. I'm also very sorry for your family and your cat. |
Anonymous
I'm sorry, too. This is outstanding advice, BTW. |
Anonymous
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I am sorry too... But I would skip the part about putting Kitty to sleep.
I would say you took her to,the vet and she said,she is very sick and is going to,die. That you are taking her to the vet but the vet said she will die and have them say goodbye. Say you are going to stay with her until she dies and you want to do this alone. |
Anonymous
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Sorry op. if you are still checking in, I recommend this sweet book, which yo can probably get at the library. It will make you and the kids feel better!
http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590100548/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374879625&sr=8-1&keywords=Cat+heaven |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thank you, everyone. I will definitely check out the book recommendation. Tomorrow will be a hard day, but I know many of you can empathize. I really appreciate all of your thoughtful replies. |
Anonymous
+1 ixnay on the otshay -- they don't need that much info |
Anonymous
So sorry OP, my kitty has been with me through so many changes in my life and I'm dreading the day this happens. 
Others have already given good suggestions for talking to the kids. Do you have any other pets, or would you consider getting a new cat once you've had time to grieve? |
Anonymous
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Hi everyone, OP here. It's been a week since my cat passed away. Every day gets better, although I still feel pretty sad, as expected. Thank you for all of you advice--it was truly comforting to know you knew what I was going through and also to have some sense that I could do *something* amidst the helplessness of it all, even if it was to read a book about it to my kids.
Since you asked, we won't be getting any new pets at least for a long time. My husband was always allergic to the cat. He managed it with medication, a lot of it; but, I would feel bad signing him up for that again for another decade plus. However, he is quick to minimize it and loved our cat so dearly that he would be very willing to put up with the misery and get a new cat in time. It's part of why I love him so much! But we still may need to stay kitty-less for his health. |
Anonymous
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Sorry for your loss...just wanted to chime in on another great book called The Tenth Good Thing about Barney. The first review sums it up very nicely:
http://www.amazon.com/Tenth-Good-Thing-About-Barney/dp/0689712030 |