The rat race in DC

[Anonymous]

I read a lot about people complaining about the rat race in DC. Where is it?!?

I work downtown and live in Alexandria, VA (I know, GASP for a lot of people on here). My kids go to public schools there and they are doing fine. Most of my coworkers send their kids to public schools (actually ALL now I think of). When we talk about our weekends, they take their kids to baseball or soccer, which is pretty inexpensive. I know a few people splurge on piano or Chinese tutoring, but it is like 1-2 times a week MAX for a few times a month. During the summer, most of the people send their kids to grandparents or community centers or working from home to watch the kids.

What is this rat race that people all send their kids to all those expensive schools and camps? Am I missing something? Is it the top half a percent? It is not common around me for sure.

[Anonymous]

We'll be sending our kid to camps that cost $300-$400/week simply because that's our only option. We don't have family in the area or bosses who will allow us to work from home without childcare. Given that our daycare/preschool has always been about $300/week, we don't really see that as much of a "splurge."

I do know some folks with kids in private school, but in my circle, they're the minority. Most of us just buy in good school boundaries in Arlington, Fairfax or Montgomery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a lot about people complaining about the rat race in DC. Where is it?!?

I work downtown and live in Alexandria, VA (I know, GASP for a lot of people on here). My kids go to public schools there and they are doing fine. Most of my coworkers send their kids to public schools (actually ALL now I think of). When we talk about our weekends, they take their kids to baseball or soccer, which is pretty inexpensive. I know a few people splurge on piano or Chinese tutoring, but it is like 1-2 times a week MAX for a few times a month. During the summer, most of the people send their kids to grandparents or community centers or working from home to watch the kids.

What is this rat race that people all send their kids to all those expensive schools and camps? Am I missing something? Is it the top half a percent? It is not common around me for sure.

[Anonymous]

For me (my kids aren't in grade school yet) it's the what preschool is your kid in, how many days per week, at what age was your child potty trained, what extra-curricular activities the child is in, what type of language are you teaching, etc.

I know several children who are 3ish who do ballet, soccer, art, swim, gymnastics, language, music (both class and starting private lessons). Parents pushing reading (at levels way beyond comprehension) on very small kids, complaining that at preschool all the kids do is play and having children who don't know how to occupy themselves for two minutes because they are so 'driven'. The mom's who want their kindergartener to read chapter books and complain that their child only wants to read children's books drive me crazy. Add mom's (and dad's) who are competitive about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING and it's not a nice mix.

And FWIW, I don't know anyone who looks back at their preschool and says, you know the reason I am successful in my career is because I went to the best preschool in the area. I know plenty of kids who went to top schools who are worthless and others who went to adequate schools who are very successful.

[Anonymous]

It's not common around you because you don't live in a particularly affluent area. If you lived in NWDC, Chevy Chase/Bethesda. Great Falls, McLean, etc., then you'd see many people caught up in the rat race. I very much feel like I'm part of it and it surrounds me where I live. I know I could avoid it by moving, but I guess on some level, I'm happy being caught up in the race.

[Anonymous]

Most of the people I know do not send their kids to private schools, but do do private music classes, competitive sports, and additional academics - all at the same time. It is a rate race - more for the kids than the parents, though.

[Anonymous]

You want to know how to avoid the rat race and still have a nice home in a good area?

Find a neighborhood that feeds into good schools that still has a lot of the old construction, tear down and rebuilt. Then you will be one of the very few with an expensive house.

[Anonymous]

Kids are sent away so that the parents don't have to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Agree, OP, it really depends on what neighborhood you live in, maybe what industry you work in, and whether you care all that much.

[Anonymous]

OP, reference 90% of the posts on DCUM for the answer to your question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not common around you because you don't live in a particularly affluent area. If you lived in NWDC, Chevy Chase/Bethesda. Great Falls, McLean, etc., then you'd see many people caught up in the rat race. I very much feel like I'm part of it and it surrounds me where I live. I know I could avoid it by moving, but I guess on some level, I'm happy being caught up in the race.

I live in one of those areas and use public schools and don't feel in a rat race. I do recognize that we sometimes spend more than others on summer camp or overseas travel but I don't do it to impress anyone or because I need to keep up with anyone-- we are lucky to have the money to do that (partly because we live in a small house with one 10 yo car, and use public schools) and that's how we choose to spend it.

I think 90% of the "rat race" is in people's heads. Or, as my mother used to say when siblings would argue over who started it-- "it takes two to tango".

[Anonymous]

I think what happens is people voluntarily seek out the "best" neighborhoods, schools, activities, jobs, etc., and then complain that those neighborhoods, schools, activities, and jobs are too stressful and intense. Good for you for choosing a different life for your family!

We have tried to keep out of the craziness by sending our kids to public school in a good-enough-but-not-totally-affluent area, and keeping the activities to one or two at a time, mostly swim lessons, scouts, after-school classes of interest. Keeping it low-key means some things aren't possible, like travel soccer or late-night practices for the kids, or a big-time intensive job for me. For us these are compromises worth making. When I was a kid most of the crazy intense stuff wasn't even an option, so our parents didn't stress about missing out.

[Anonymous]

I am OP. The DCUM is such a ridiculous board, full of elitists. I find it almost laughable reading people's "problems." I will not live in those areas as 16:46 described.

I work at a small government contractor. I work on site at a government agency full time. None of the people I work with live in those areas. Their kids seem to be "successful," however that is defined.

[Anonymous]

Bunch of people who are not in the rat race complaining about the rat race. Strange.

[Anonymous]

I think alexandria attracts a laid back population because our schools are just eh. When I ask out her parents about schools, everyone's like, oh, they're fine. It's not like these boards where everyone is horrified. I think the ladder climbers move to better school districts, leaving the rest of us losers to bask in our inadequacy.