Do women who marry men in their 20s have more MIL issues?

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that a lot of women who have mother in law issues like control, bossiness, mamas boys stuff, etc, are married to men who were younger when they got married, like 20s. Has anyone else noticed this? Seems like marrying a guy who is say 35 who has been living independently and in another city from his mom is less like to be a mamas boy or have an overly intrusive mom.

[Anonymous]

Married when we were a year out of college, and I have the best relationship with my MIL. (And DH is an only child, too!)

[Anonymous]

DILs make MIL issues because they are jealous petty immature witches.

[Anonymous]

I got married in my 20's. .My husband has been living apart from his mother since he went off to college. I like my in-laws better than my own parents!

[Anonymous]

My DH and I married at age 33. I have major IL issues. My mother married at 21 and says she couldn't have wished for a better MIL (my paternal grandmother). After my father died, they became even closer.

[Anonymous]

Sure, you could make a case that this is true -- after all, marry younger/younger in laws = more time with them = more occasions for issues to arise.

Marry at 40 and your spouse could have considerably older parents or even deceased.

[Anonymous]

I initially thought you were asking if both people get married in their 20s, but I honestly don't know a woman who married a younger man so can't comment.

I got married in my 20s, husband turned 30 same year we got married - no serious MIL issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DILs make MIL issues because they are jealous petty immature witches.

Hahaha

You obviously haven't met my MIL.

I got along really well with each my boyfriends' mothers when I was in my 20s. Met DH at 30 and married 3 years later. Never got along with MIL from day one. She stopped by his house "accidentally" at the same time as one if our first dates. I was really suspicious then and now I know without a doubt that she is a manipulative bitch with nothing happening in her life except her three boys.

[Anonymous]

^^ +1 million and married at 35.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DILs make MIL issues because they are jealous petty immature witches. [/quote]

Hahaha

You obviously haven't met my MIL.

I got along really well with each my boyfriends' mothers when I was in my 20s. Met DH at 30 and married 3 years later. Never got along with MIL from day one. She stopped by his house "accidentally" at the same time as one if our first dates. I was really suspicious then and now I know without a doubt that she is a manipulative bitch with nothing happening in her life except her three boys.

[/quote]

Tragic. She should have developed her life/career again when the kids got older. Object lesson for all of us. Unfortunately, I have a lot of friends with toxic IL relationships. The best thing to do is not pay it forward by having lives of our own when the kids grow up.

[Anonymous]

I think that it might actually be easier for 20 somethings to accept their FIL/MILs' input. They aren't that long out of the stage when parents were paying for things, helping them to make decisions, etc. 30 & 40 somethings have usually long since left the nest. It might be harder for them to accept parental "input" from the get go. But they are also more likely to establish clear cut boundaries early on...that may actually help them to avoid problems later on.

A lot depends on the personalities of the individuals.

[Anonymous]

I would hypothesize that men in their 30s are more likely to be independent from their moms and thus the moms are not as used to being involved etc and might be less of a pita

[Anonymous]

I started dating my DH when he and I were both 18. His mom is awesome and would do anything for me and vice versa. I think knowing her since I was really young is a net plus. She truly is a second mom to me.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine EVER calling my husband's mom a derogatory word. Ever. And I can't imagine my husband saying nasty things about MY mom.

Issues arise in almost every family at some point. No need to be nasty about it.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is the age of the man I think it is e age of the MIL. For somebody who is single into his 30's you Actually may end up in a situation where mommy was #1 for too long.

I think because I met my MIL when she was 46 she was just too young, going through menopause, etc. I think that added to her territorial nature.

I think if she had been older she may have been more mellow. My mom was in her 60's and was much more mellow.