New Coworker is Dressing too Casual

[Anonymous]

I have a new co-worker who is male. I like him and he seems competent. The problem is that he is dressing a bit too casually for the work culture and is a bit scruffy overall. I have heard that senior managers are not taking him seriously because of his casual attire. I hardly know him, but want to help him avoid being judged. He's fresh put of grad school and maybe a bit clueless. Should I butt out or suggest that he dress nicer? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Make the suggestion. When I was 22, a very senior male manager took me aside and advised that I "pay attention" to how the other women dress. I had gotten lazy, wearing commuter tennies all day, etc.

I was mortified, but I changed my behavior.

[Anonymous]

You could get an inexpensive book on how to dress professionally and put it in his inbox before he gets to work. This is what happened to someone I know. She was very thankful that that anonymous someone cared.

[Anonymous]

maybe the work culture needs to change?

Silicon valley makes truckloads of money, drives innovation, is on the cutting edge of discovery and capitalism and does fine with a relaxed dress code.

Perhaps, if more people followed your new co-worker's attitude, it might be beneficial to the company as a whole?

[Anonymous]

I would do a combination of the first and second suggestions. Give him the book, but do it in person. Anonymous "gifts" can come off as insulting. Take the time to let this guy know you're invested in his success by speaking to him personally. We were all helped out by someone when we were younger. Just pay it forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe the work culture needs to change?

Silicon valley makes truckloads of money, drives innovation, is on the cutting edge of discovery and capitalism and does fine with a relaxed dress code.

Perhaps, if more people followed your new co-worker's attitude, it might be beneficial to the company as a whole?

The big difference with SV is that most of the people who work there are the cream of the crop. It doesn't work in every work culture and environment. Different types of people with different types of thinking and motivation.

[Anonymous]

Yes, please tell him. In a nice way of course. I had someone give me that talk when I was in my 20s and I totally appreciate it now.

[Anonymous]

Knew someone who worked for a very prestigious firm way back in the 80s and she said said she was given a clothing allowance as part of her package. She was a strange bird and dressed horribly so some people thought that was the firm's way of hinting that she needed to dress better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maybe the work culture needs to change?

Silicon valley makes truckloads of money, drives innovation, is on the cutting edge of discovery and capitalism and does fine with a relaxed dress code.

Perhaps, if more people followed your new co-worker's attitude, it might be beneficial to the company as a whole?

The big difference with SV is that most of the people who work there are the cream of the crop. It doesn't work in every work culture and environment. Different types of people with different types of thinking and motivation.

i would think dc has lots of cream of the crop people considering how anal the area is about elite schools and credentials.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'll be the voice of dissent. I would lean towards minding your own business. I just don't see how you could bring this to the person's attention without seriously insulting him. He already must notice that he's the only one without a tie on, right? If anyone's going to say anything, it should be HR. It's their job to address it.

[Anonymous]

HR Bitch here: Is there HR who could do it for him? That's really something that falls under our purview. I've absolutely had to tell people to change their clothes, go home to change immediately, or not to wear something in the future, etc.

7:15 made a good point, if you ARE going to talk to him - tell him you think he's doing a great job and you're invested in his success, which is WHY you would like to help. Ask if he's receptive to that. Then, if he says yes, tell him you think he's not being taken as seriously as his ideas and contributions deserve due to his appearance, and drop the tidbit that Macy's always has a sale going on, and they have free personal shoppers for men. Then ... stop talking about it. Don't tell him to shave, or stop wearing a baseball hat - no need to get specific. Unless he's got serious issues like Aspergers, he'll get it.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on who you are. Are you his direct supervisor? Definitely tell him. The receptionist or admin - if you've been around a long time, and have a friendly demeanor, and are kind of the mother hen of the office, I think you can do it. Are you someone who can or has acted in a mentor role? Then sure.

Anyone else gets a little dicier and into MYOB territory.

[Anonymous]

I may have shared this story on here before, but years ago I worked in a company with a very relaxed atmosphere. We never had a dress code, until one of the young women showed up in a catsuit -- honest to God. One piece, spandex, black, skin tight and nothing on underneath. Like Catwoman. She had the body for it, but OMG.

The boss immediately convened a random group of employees INCLUDING HER and announced that the company was developing a dress code and what did WE think should be allowed/not allowed?

She went home at lunch and changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on who you are. Are you his direct supervisor? Definitely tell him. The receptionist or admin - if you've been around a long time, and have a friendly demeanor, and are kind of the mother hen of the office, I think you can do it. Are you someone who can or has acted in a mentor role? Then sure.

Anyone else gets a little dicier and into MYOB territory.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HR Bitch here: Is there HR who could do it for him? That's really something that falls under our purview. I've absolutely had to tell people to change their clothes, go home to change immediately, or not to wear something in the future, etc.

7:15 made a good point, if you ARE going to talk to him - tell him you think he's doing a great job and you're invested in his success, which is WHY you would like to help. Ask if he's receptive to that. Then, if he says yes, tell him you think he's not being taken as seriously as his ideas and contributions deserve due to his appearance, and drop the tidbit that Macy's always has a sale going on, and they have free personal shoppers for men. Then ... stop talking about it. Don't tell him to shave, or stop wearing a baseball hat - no need to get specific. Unless he's got serious issues like Aspergers, he'll get it.

HRB, not every workplace issue falls under your "purview." This is a mentoring issue, not an issue in which he needs to be TOLD to dress differently and sent home hanging his head in shame. You really have some mission creep going. Stand down.