Planning for a Jewish bris--need recommendations please

[Anonymous]

DH and I are both Jewish and we are currently expecting (third trimester) and need to start planning for a Bris. Neither of us have ever been to a Bris, so we don't exactly know what we need to do. I would prefer for a pediatric urologist to perform the Bris. But I would also like to have the traditional ceremony done as well. We are not yet members of a synagogue (we are new to the area).

Regarding the logistics of the bris, we have no local family, and everyone would be coming in from the West Coast. Do people usually only invite the immediate family--i.e. grandparents and siblings? As our families are on the West Coast we aren't expecting anyone except the grandparents to be there. But I am not sure where we would have the ceremony. I was thinking we would do a nice catered lunch at home.

Any thoughts or recommendations?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Definitely keep it small. You will be 8 days from giving birth. A catered lunch at home is perfect. For both of our boys we just had immediate family and a few close friends -- a total of maybe 15-18 people. Keep the food simple. Traditionally it is bagels and lox, with tuna salad, egg salad, etc., and maybe a deli platter. Once you get in touch with a mohel s/he will be able to help you iron out the details. We used Rabbi Henesch both times, but he is not a pediatric urologist. It may be difficult to find one of those who is willing to take the time to come to your home, but perhaps there is someone out there who can do it.

[Anonymous]

Preparing for a Jewish bris? As opposed to a Presbyterian bris?

[Anonymous]

The bris that I have been invited to were at dawn but I think any time in the morning can be o.k. You will have to find a Mohel as PP mentioned. Our O.B. just happened to also be a Mohel.

[Anonymous]

At 1 week after birth, you are not going to want to leave home. So, unless your house will not permit doing it there, I suggest you do it at home. There are several mohels in the area that will come to your house and you don't have to be affiliated with a synogogue. We used Rabbi Henesch twice. Many people in this area do but he is not a doctor. If you are looking for a mohel who is also a doctor, you can try Dr. Marmon or Dr. Engel. Typically the time during the day of the bris is determined by the schedule of the mohel so you may not know the time until a few days before. Once you know the time, you can figure out the food but typically a catered breakfast or lunch from a local deli is appropriate. We had a large bris but many people just have close family and friends. You may not get as good a turnout if the bris is during a weekday and people have to work. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the replies. Where would be a good location for the Bris? We will have a catered lunch at home, but I would prefer the Bris be done elsewhere. However, we are not members of a synagogue. Any suggestions about this?

[Anonymous]

The actual ceremony takes less than 10 minutes even with all the prayers so there's no point haiving it anywhere but home. All the ones I have been to were held at home (from tiny apartments to big houses). Any reason you don't want the ceremony at home? The babies are so tiny at 8 days I would be loathe to take them anywhere unless absolutely necessary.

[Anonymous]

Your home is best and easiest. We live in a tiny apt and had 20 people and Bethesda Bagels do it. Dr April Rubin is an OB and a Mohelet. Dr Louis Mormom does circs, but i dont know if he is a mohel. If you really insist on doing it elsewhere, the DC JCC let's you rent rooms. You can have the bris and the luncheon there. You really don't want to ask your guess to have to move locations for the ceremony and the event. Also, you will be 8 days post partum and while you may feel great, there is a good chance you will feel like crap. Mazel Tov!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess I feel uncomfortable about having a medical procedure done at home. I'd rather have it done elsewhere and have a nice lunch back at home. As for guests, it will only be the grandparents. So if we go with one of the medical doctors, could we do the Bris in their office and then come back to the house for a nice lunch?

[Anonymous]

I'd really recommend using a mohel like Rabbi Henesch who is an expert at both the medical portion and can do a very nice naming ceremony for you (he walks you through the whole thing including honors and readings for family members). There really is no need to do it at a doctors office. We loved Henesch but there are other options like Rappaport and Dr Lou Marmon. We went to a bris with Dr Marmon in a friend's home. I will say the dr version took a lot longer than the with Rabbi Henesch, but it is a good option if you prefer a dr.

[Anonymous]

^^^ Agree. It is always done at home early in the day.

[Anonymous]

OP here. And what if the mom is recovering from a c-section? Is the bris delayed or how would that work?

[Anonymous]

You will be fine to have people in your house for a catered breakfast/ brunch 8 days after a c section. Presumably some of your family will be there and can help. Oh and I love Dr. Engel. He's my OB. We didn't do a bris for our kids so I can't speak to the other mohels. He did my younger sons circumcision though.

[Anonymous]

Just have it all at the same place - either at home (my recommendation) or at the outside venue. Don't do the bris at one place and the lunch elsewhere. And you can do it even with a c section!

[Anonymous]

How about just getting the circumcision done at the hospital and then having a naming ceremony later? You could even do the naming ceremony on the west coats months later and all your family could be there