Mommy and Daddy don't like me
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Anonymous
| My 3 year old created a song with her keyboard, the lyrics were very close to " Mommy doesn't like me, Daddy doesn't like me, Little Sister Cries, Mommy picks her up, Mommy doesn't like me" . After she finished, she turned and asked if I liked her song. Needless to say, my heart was broken. To give a little history, she is 3, our youngest daughter is 9 months. In the past 4 months, our 3 years old has been extremely whiny and she cries for everything. We give her lots of attention and she demands a lot of attention. If I had to guess, she gets our attention probably 60% of the time and the baby 40%. We have been trying to teach her that she shouldn't cry for everything, so I've tried to stop reinforcing the crying tantrums. (Which means I don't pick her up and sometimes ignore her) I had a conversation with her explaining that her dad and I not only like her, but love her however I had to ask if I am doing something wrong? Has anyone else had a child say something similar? How did you handle it? Any other creative ways to make her feel special? Does she really feel this way or was it a fleeting thought? Please help. Thanks. |
Anonymous
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I'm thinking she knows this is your weak point and used her "song" to let you know she wants more one-on-one time. I bet you anything she knows you love her.
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Anonymous
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10:01 here again.
Forgot to mention: I distinctly remember being 3.5, with a new baby brother, and using similar tactics like sadly proclaiming "nobody loves me" while my brother was being tended to. I obviously knew I was loved. I just wanted attention. So, I wouldn't read too much into the "Mommy doesn't love me" lyrics. |
Anonymous
| Master manipulator at age 3. You need to stop this nonsense immediately or she will rule the roost by age 5. |
Anonymous
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Oy.
Why not have a chat with her about her song, about her sister's needs versus her own, and about her feelings? |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, OP, but my initial reaction on reading your post was that it was sort of hilarious. Also, sounds like she is a gifted lyricist too -- you should enroll her in music lessons!
Seriously, though, she is doing this because she knows it pushes your buttons. It puts me in mind of the Michael Lewis essay where he writes about how his daughter figured out that if she made a "sad" face, people would throw her more beads in a parade. OF COURSE your daughter knows she is loved by her parents. I think you should ignore her when she's singing the song because you don't want to feed the beast with more attention, and, later on, at a separate time, chat with her about how Mom and Dad love both their children. |
Anonymous
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Oh my. That's pretty rough, and hilarious! I agree that you're being manipulated, but that doesn't make it much easier to take.
I'd carve out specific times and things to do with her because she's a big girl and only big girls can do these kinds of things w/ mommy and daddy. Make a big production of those special times being all hers (and have the other parent be elsewhere with the baby). Then explain that part of being a big sister is understanding and helping with everything the baby needs. Then don't indulge the song. Or tell her you're so happy she's writing songs and you've written one too: "Janie is such a big girl, Janie gets to do XXX with Mommy, Mommy and Daddy love that Janie knows how to XXX, Someday Nicky will be able to play just like Janie, blah blah blah" But don't give in to the guilt or drama. I'm sorry but this story really cracks me up. I hope I can stand strong when I get a dose of this in a year or two. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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Wow! You got a good one there... I kinda like her style...she is really trying to work you... My natural (albeit sarcastic) response would have been..."Wow...very creative..now can u come up with a song about "...i sing about crazy stuff I know is not true"? but that is just me.... Bottom line is how you treat her overall -- is loving her and deep down she knows AND feels it... Just tell her "we love you and you know it hurts mommy's and daddy's feelings when you say that." But don't get into it with her everytime she pulls it...that is just playing into the negative attention she is craving. My kid is 8 and still tries to pull this Only difference is now... my stock response is: "You're saying so doesn't make it true" |
Anonymous
| I'd give her a hug and say of course we love you silly and then leave it alone. I'm sure she knows you love her. |
Anonymous
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The second poster actually made me remember doing something similar to my parents. I think I used to tell my mom that "nobody loves me" in order to get more attention. However the most memorable part was that my mom would always respond with singing the lyrics from some kid's song that started off in a similar way.
It always made me mad precisely b/c she saw right through my manipulation. I of course knew that my parents loved me and I'm sure at some point my mother told me that- probably after the first or second time I said it. |
Anonymous
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me Think I'll go eat worms Big fat juicy ones, itty bitty tiny ones See how they'll wiggle and squirm |
Anonymous
| 10:48- Haha- that's it! |
Anonymous
This. x1000 |
Anonymous
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2Nd verse
Down goes the first one " " " second one. Oh, how they wiggle and squirm Up comes the first one, Up comes the second one Oh how they wiggle and squirm I bite off the heads and Suck out the juice and throw The skins away Nobody knows how fat I grow On worms three times a day Repeat "nobody likes me' Sing this while downing some Squirmy worms. |
Anonymous
| You're fine. When my daughter was 3, she began her "protest song" stage. When her parents displeased her in some way, she'd grab the guitar and sing a song about how awful everything was. We would carefully school our faces to not laugh at her 3 year old oh-so-serious woe. I think it's perfectly normal. |