MIL wants to help decorate

[Anonymous]

We're moving soon and my MIL keeps mentioning she wants to help decorate our new house, in particular DD's room. She wants to do a full wall mural of cartoon characters. She also wants to give us a lot of "antiques" that she's picked up at garage sales over the years. It isn't exactly the style I had in mind for DD's room or our house. She's gotten a lot more vocal and pushy as we get closer to our move-in date. How should I handle this? I would like to include her and let her help with small things, but I really don't want to hand over major design decisions over to her.

[Anonymous]

Tell her no. This is your home. I hate how my parents and my ILs house is decorated. I couldn't live in that.

[Anonymous]

You should tell her now, so she stops emotionally investing in this project. The longer you let her envision herself decorating the more hurt she'll be when you tell her no.

So just tell her. "Thanks for the offer Judy, but Scott and I already have a design plan for Larla's room that we're going to implement upon moving in. However! If you still want to help, I *am* looking for a lamp made up of precariously stacked teacups, so if you come across that it'd be super helpful if you let me know."

[Anonymous]

"That's a great idea. I'll give it some thought."

"No thank you."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't we come over after we've had a chance to settle in and decide which pieces of furniture will work for our needs?"

Where is your DH on this? Can he not say, "Mom, we're so glad you're excited and want to contribute, but remember this is our house and we're also rather excited to set it up as we wish. Please be patient and let us figure out what we want to do and where we need help."?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're moving soon and my MIL keeps mentioning she wants to help decorate our new house, in particular DD's room. She wants to do a full wall mural of cartoon characters. She also wants to give us a lot of "antiques" that she's picked up at garage sales over the years. It isn't exactly the style I had in mind for DD's room or our house. She's gotten a lot more vocal and pushy as we get closer to our move-in date. How should I handle this? I would like to include her and let her help with small things, but I really don't want to hand over major design decisions over to her.

GAH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving soon and my MIL keeps mentioning she wants to help decorate our new house, in particular DD's room. She wants to do a full wall mural of cartoon characters. She also wants to give us a lot of "antiques" that she's picked up at garage sales over the years. It isn't exactly the style I had in mind for DD's room or our house. She's gotten a lot more vocal and pushy as we get closer to our move-in date. How should I handle this? I would like to include her and let her help with small things, but I really don't want to hand over major design decisions over to her.

GAH!

I KNOW!

[Anonymous]

Why is your husband not telling her to stop it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's a great idea. I'll give it some thought."

"No thank you."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't we come over after we've had a chance to settle in and decide which pieces of furniture will work for our needs?"

Where is your DH on this? Can he not say, "Mom, we're so glad you're excited and want to contribute, but remember this is our house and we're also rather excited to set it up as we wish. Please be patient and let us figure out what we want to do and where we need help."?

He doesn't want to hurt her feelings (which I understand - I don't either!), so he is inclined to let her paint something as long as I ok it. But he pretty much told her, "that's a great idea. give us some time to think about it!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"That's a great idea. I'll give it some thought."

"No thank you."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't we come over after we've had a chance to settle in and decide which pieces of furniture will work for our needs?"

Where is your DH on this? Can he not say, "Mom, we're so glad you're excited and want to contribute, but remember this is our house and we're also rather excited to set it up as we wish. Please be patient and let us figure out what we want to do and where we need help."?

He doesn't want to hurt her feelings (which I understand - I don't either!), so he is inclined to let her paint something as long as I ok it. But he pretty much told her, "that's a great idea. give us some time to think about it!"

Could she paint on canvas and then you can "remodel" in a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"That's a great idea. I'll give it some thought."

"No thank you."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't we come over after we've had a chance to settle in and decide which pieces of furniture will work for our needs?"

Where is your DH on this? Can he not say, "Mom, we're so glad you're excited and want to contribute, but remember this is our house and we're also rather excited to set it up as we wish. Please be patient and let us figure out what we want to do and where we need help."?

He doesn't want to hurt her feelings (which I understand - I don't either!), so he is inclined to let her paint something as long as I ok it. But he pretty much told her, "that's a great idea. give us some time to think about it!"

Could she paint on canvas and then you can "remodel" in a year?

That's a great idea! Part of my hesitation is that a mural just seems so permanent and I'd hate to paint over it in a few years when DD outgrows it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"That's a great idea. I'll give it some thought."

"No thank you."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't we come over after we've had a chance to settle in and decide which pieces of furniture will work for our needs?"

Where is your DH on this? Can he not say, "Mom, we're so glad you're excited and want to contribute, but remember this is our house and we're also rather excited to set it up as we wish. Please be patient and let us figure out what we want to do and where we need help."?

He doesn't want to hurt her feelings (which I understand - I don't either!), so he is inclined to let her paint something as long as I ok it. But he pretty much told her, "that's a great idea. give us some time to think about it!"

Could she paint on canvas and then you can "remodel" in a year?

That's a great idea! Part of my hesitation is that a mural just seems so permanent and I'd hate to paint over it in a few years when DD outgrows it.

You know, in her day there wasn't the internet to get ideas. She may not realize all the options besides Disney cartoon characters for babies rooms. Why don't you send her a few links to the types of things you like and say "Hi Judy! I know you are interested in decorating - here's the direction we're going in." As a last resort, let her paint the inside of DD's closet. Clothes will cover it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you want a neutral color that will last for years so you don't have to worry about having paint fumes Ina few years

Tell her you will look over the antiques when you are in town but are not sure u will need any

[Anonymous]

OP...maybe let her paint something smaller. A chair or a small bench, or stepstool. It won't be on your walls, and will be easy to put away out of sight when not needed.

I hate the cartoon character thing but there are people who love all things Disney/etc, guess she's one of those, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"That's a great idea. I'll give it some thought."

"No thank you."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't we come over after we've had a chance to settle in and decide which pieces of furniture will work for our needs?"

Where is your DH on this? Can he not say, "Mom, we're so glad you're excited and want to contribute, but remember this is our house and we're also rather excited to set it up as we wish. Please be patient and let us figure out what we want to do and where we need help."?

He doesn't want to hurt her feelings (which I understand - I don't either!), so he is inclined to let her paint something as long as I ok it. But he pretty much told her, "that's a great idea. give us some time to think about it!"

PP here: Assuming you can decorate someone else's house kind of sets you up to get your feelings hurt, doesn't it? I mean, really. I like a subsequent PPs idea to have her paint a small piece of furniture rather than the whole wall.

[Anonymous]

Have her paint a canvas. That's what we had FIL do (he painted every square inch of the outside of his own detached garage. GAH! Give her a measurement for the canvas since you have the "perfect spot" in mind, so it doesn't get too big.