Ivy-League (elite college) hook-up culture.

[Anonymous]

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/fashion/sex-on-campus-she-can-play-that-game-too.html?hp&_r=2&pagewanted=all&

Very interesting piece that I think would be of great interest to DCUM'ers.

The author of the piece was on Morning Joe this morning as well talking with Tina Brown and Mika bzyzyzyzyzyzyski

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I read that an increasing number of educated women in Germany choose to be single moms and that men were the ones who surprisingly wanted to get married. These women have good jobs and are independent. I also understand that this starting to happen in China, where parents devote all their resources to their only child under the one child policy. So these girls are well educated and end up with good jobs and aren't used to be second class to a male sibling.

[Anonymous]

I read it. I don't doubt that's what goes on to some extent. But part of me wondered if the authors chose to feature the most outrageous girl who would talk to them. After all, the same article reported that a substantial share of seniors were still virgins and presumably another large share had meaningful relationships.

But yeah, it's a new world out there for our kids. I hear this is culture exists to some extent at most schools, not just ivies. Well, maybe not super-religious schools.

[Anonymous]

The Hookup culture has been going on for 20+ years. It was happening at my private college two decades ago. It is sad because it is not empowering women. Women tell themselves that they are too busy for a relationship. Why? Because that is what all the sought after guys are doing. The guys will hookup or sleep with a girl but then not call her or date her. He may sleep with the same girl many times but still not date her. Most guys want to hookup with as many girls as possible. What is fueling more girls engaging in the hookup culture? Alcohol. The hookup culture only benefits men. To say you are too busy to do anything but chase a career and have meaningless sex is BS. You have been drinking too much of the frat house Koolaid. Women are lying to themselves if they think that all they want is sex with no dating. I read an article about this not too long ago. When a woman has sex with a man she is attracted too she will often produce oxytocin which will "bond" her to that male. That hormone makes her want to be with him and date him. Women are not biologically the same as men. Most women would love to date in college but they know it is not the culture so they save face by telling people they don't care either. They are not gaining anything. They are like unpaid prostitutes. Women have worked hard for equal rights and to be empowered. But they have lost along the way. They are not finding men to date in college, they are having sex without respect or emotional connection, they are having trouble finding decent men to marry when they are in their reproductive prime, they are putting themselves more at risk for stds and abortions, and they are having turn to IVF later in life because they miss the window to have children naturally. Men are the only ones gaining. They are having more time to be single and now not only do they not have to marry young they don't even have to take a college girl to dinner and a movie to have sex. College women, wake up and take a stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Hookup culture has been going on for 20+ years. It was happening at my private college two decades ago. It is sad because it is not empowering women. Women tell themselves that they are too busy for a relationship. Why? Because that is what all the sought after guys are doing. The guys will hookup or sleep with a girl but then not call her or date her. He may sleep with the same girl many times but still not date her. Most guys want to hookup with as many girls as possible. What is fueling more girls engaging in the hookup culture? Alcohol. The hookup culture only benefits men. To say you are too busy to do anything but chase a career and have meaningless sex is BS. You have been drinking too much of the frat house Koolaid. Women are lying to themselves if they think that all they want is sex with no dating. I read an article about this not too long ago. When a woman has sex with a man she is attracted too she will often produce oxytocin which will "bond" her to that male. That hormone makes her want to be with him and date him. Women are not biologically the same as men. Most women would love to date in college but they know it is not the culture so they save face by telling people they don't care either. They are not gaining anything. They are like unpaid prostitutes. Women have worked hard for equal rights and to be empowered. But they have lost along the way. They are not finding men to date in college, they are having sex without respect or emotional connection, they are having trouble finding decent men to marry when they are in their reproductive prime, they are putting themselves more at risk for stds and abortions, and they are having turn to IVF later in life because they miss the window to have children naturally. Men are the only ones gaining. They are having more time to be single and now not only do they not have to marry young they don't even have to take a college girl to dinner and a movie to have sex. College women, wake up and take a stand.

You read an article? Cosmo or Glamour?

Look, granny, you may be over the hill, but the kids these days, they do it different. Girls really DO just want to get their rocks off and move on to the next dude.

[Anonymous]

pp must be a frat boy or lax bro

[Anonymous]

Right, modern women living the good life. Drink lots of alcohol and have hookups with random guys. Pretend you don't care they won't even buy you lunch and call you a slut behind your back because you are chasing that career. Work your but off and maybe end up with a killer career- BIG LAW. Then around 40 when you realize time is up have a baby with IVF and spend the rest of your time on DCUM wondering why you are so miserable. Ah the good life of an empowered woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read that an increasing number of educated women in Germany choose to be single moms and that men were the ones who surprisingly wanted to get married. These women have good jobs and are independent. I also understand that this starting to happen in China, where parents devote all their resources to their only child under the one child policy. So these girls are well educated and end up with good jobs and aren't used to be second class to a male sibling.

It doesn't quite compare to the US. In much of Europe, mothers are paid a hefty monthly sum for each child, and they will hold your job for years while you raise your kids. I have a relative that just went back to work after 6 years, and was able to return to her exact position and pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read that an increasing number of educated women in Germany choose to be single moms and that men were the ones who surprisingly wanted to get married. These women have good jobs and are independent. I also understand that this starting to happen in China, where parents devote all their resources to their only child under the one child policy. So these girls are well educated and end up with good jobs and aren't used to be second class to a male sibling.

It doesn't quite compare to the US. In much of Europe, mothers are paid a hefty monthly sum for each child, and they will hold your job for years while you raise your kids. I have a relative that just went back to work after 6 years, and was able to return to her exact position and pay.

wow.

sometimes it feels like our forefathers did the wrong thing in leaving there.

[Anonymous]

Just another idiotic NYTimes fake trend piece.

[Anonymous]

I have had the same reaction to the how up culture as being bad for women and then I had a conversation with an academic who is familiar with studies about this (yes, there are studies) who said they have found that women have more power in hookup relationships than traditional monogamous relationships.

I do have a daughter and I've decided that hookup culture is not the end of the world as long as (1) she's safe -- in terms of disease, birth control, substances, and (2) its a phase. So far she seems to be into serious relationships so its not an issue. But I think this is one area where I'll take a deep breath and accept that times have changed. (Somewhat -- obviously there have always been women who preferred to hookup). I don't think it will be the end of the world. And I also suspect the media is exaggerating this.

[Anonymous]

what was interesting in the piece was the fact that it seemed girls/students that came from higher classes/wealth were more into hookups than the lower/lower-middle class students on fin aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had the same reaction to the how up culture as being bad for women and then I had a conversation with an academic who is familiar with studies about this (yes, there are studies) who said they have found that women have more power in hookup relationships than traditional monogamous relationships.

I do have a daughter and I've decided that hookup culture is not the end of the world as long as (1) she's safe -- in terms of disease, birth control, substances, and (2) its a phase. So far she seems to be into serious relationships so its not an issue. But I think this is one area where I'll take a deep breath and accept that times have changed. (Somewhat -- obviously there have always been women who preferred to hookup). I don't think it will be the end of the world. And I also suspect the media is exaggerating this.

There have been studies by women who have found that women and men are loosing out in the hookup culture. Men have been setting the trend for years at college and women have gone along with it because otherwise there is very limited alternatives for women if the minority of people date. They get drunk and have sex yet are so stunted emotionally that it would seem strange to go out on at date and sit and have a conversation. Women don't have more power. Men are just finding another way to use women. They may be book smart but they are failing when it comes to having meaningful, normal, emotional relationships with the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what was interesting in the piece was the fact that it seemed girls/students that came from higher classes/wealth were more into hookups than the lower/lower-middle class students on fin aid.

When I was in college it was the same way. All the wealthy good-looking guys were the ones that felt women were only at college for them to use and hookup with. They could have cared less about getting to know women on an emotional level. Just because someone has more money does not mean they know how to treat someone better. They don't have to bother taking someone on a date because they have so many drunk women to choose from. They set the trend and now everyone is following suit. Women would only hold the power if they said no to the hookup culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what was interesting in the piece was the fact that it seemed girls/students that came from higher classes/wealth were more into hookups than the lower/lower-middle class students on fin aid.

The hookup culture has been going on for years at boarding schools, prep schools and private colleges. Just another way for wealthy white males to dominate women. The hookup culture has just trickled down to the masses. Now these young women are going to expensive colleges where there are less men and are competing for the honor of giving some lax bro a blowjob and then telling everyone the hookup culture is fine with them. They love being treated like crap because they are too busy for a relationship.