Family Photographer
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Anonymous
| I am one of three sisters. We are all married and two of us have kids. My third sister struggled with miscarriages and infertility for years before deciding to be childless about 3 years ago as she found it too hard to have another loss. At that time she started attending family events (and we have many as we live close together) with her camera and being the photographer. It was definitely her way of coping, and she pretty much hid behind the camera. It became her thing. Initially we all kind of really encouraged it and were very positive and appreciative of all the pics as we were glad she had this hobby and that it gave her a role that she enjoyed at family events. However over the next year or so it became quite annoying. She established herself as 'the' photographer and would tell others to put their camera away and she would send her pics around. She started taking more and more pics - hundreds at every event like a professional photographer would at a wedding. She started repeatedly asking people to pose and it felt like every events was hostage to her camera. We tried to talk to her about it a couple times but she got very upset, saying things along the lines or you have your kids, let me have this...and asking us if we didn't like the pics. Once her feelings were hurt and she came without her camera but barely engaged with us and my mother told her that she should take pictures again (grrr!) to make her feel better. So she got right back to it. Everyone dreads events now due to feeling like the paparazzi are there. Due to this being her focus, she has become quite a good photographer and gets a psotive response generally and now she almost feels like we are privileged to have her taking great pics of the kids and us. The last birthday she came with a basket of props and everyone had to use the props in pictures. Kind of the last straw for me - I need to talk to her again. Seeing as the other couple attempts ended up in very hurt feelings, any other ways to get her to tone down? |
Anonymous
| I would let it go. Live a life full of love. |
Anonymous
If taking pictures makes your sister happy why can't you just give her that gift. She has had a lot of suffering in her life and could really benefit from unconditional acceptance. |
Anonymous
| Are you sure everyone feels this way or is it mainly you who feels this? Some people might like the fact that she takes so many pictures, especially if she is really good at it. My brother is sort of like this but we get a lot of good kid pics from him. Also to keep this in perspective, we all have some potentially annoying talents that we foist on our families (best cook, best party organizer, best Thanksgiving host, politics know it all, movie know it all, wine expert, etc.) so she probably has to put up with these from others too. |
Anonymous
|
i would be more focused on encouraging her to seek counseling for her infertility issues that she clearly still has issues with than the pictures.
and years from now you are going to be so thankful to have all of those pictures. as annoying as it may be i would be hesitant to start the drama with her over it. there are far worse things you could be dealing with. |
Anonymous
+1 We have an uncle like this. Everyone had to pose for 1/2 the party. Was so annoying. My mother called it out all the time and visibly showed her irritation. Now, many years later and many miles apart, we all love to see all those old wonderful pictures. Thank goodness someone was cataloging all the good times. Those pictures are some of the only connections I have to my cousins as they no longer live in the US. |
Anonymous
| This! let it go... |
Anonymous
| It makes her happy, and it doesn't hurt you. Let it go. It's fine to resist any excess (other people can take their own pictures if they want, and no one has to pose for pictures for half the event, but it makes her happy, so deal. |