Only child question

[Anonymous]

DD is 7.5 and all of a sudden extremely clingy to DH and I. Typically she's independent and has no problem playing alone. Is this normal behavior for only children this age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 7.5 and all of a sudden extremely clingy to DH and I. Typically she's independent and has no problem playing alone. Is this normal behavior for only children this age?

Why do you think that this behavior is related to her being an only child? Not criticizing, just asking.

[Anonymous]

no idea, but my kid didn't get clingy at that age. he's an only.

[Anonymous]

I think often only children are less unsure of themselves in large groups and are more shy. They are usually more independent though. Just something to work through I'd guess. 7.5 years isn't a terribly clingy age, but it a time when girls start getting a little more cliquey.

[Anonymous]

I'd do some gentle investigating to see if there is something else going on - difficulty with a friend, the nanny, school/camp. It could be a small incident that just really got to her or something biger that is reallly bothering her. You'll never know without talking to her - in a very gentle, non-judgemental manner. Just talk to her and see what she has to say. It will be good practice for you as she gets older. It sounds cliche, but it true - you need to keep the lines of communication open, even at this age.

[Anonymous]

My only has never been clingy. We just took her to sleepaway camp where she knew no one and told us she was ready for us to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd do some gentle investigating to see if there is something else going on - difficulty with a friend, the nanny, school/camp. It could be a small incident that just really got to her or something biger that is reallly bothering her. You'll never know without talking to her - in a very gentle, non-judgemental manner. Just talk to her and see what she has to say. It will be good practice for you as she gets older. It sounds cliche, but it true - you need to keep the lines of communication open, even at this age.

I second this advice. What you describe has nothing to do with being an only child; sudden clinginess can happen with any kid, including those with siblings. Find out what's really going on.

I have an only child who is pushing 13. What you describe happens with only kids, with kids who have siblings -- doesn't matter. As the person who posted the above noted, there must be something your daughter is working through, and it won't be lack of a sibling.

Interesting that someone felt bound to post the stereotype that only children are shyer in groups. Not true. I know only kids (not just mine) who are very outgoing in any group, and kids with siblings who are slow to warm up to any group. Take care that you don't look at your child's behaviors through the lens of "is this because she's an only child?" because doing so could prevent you from digging for the real issues behind this and other behaviors as she gets older.

[Anonymous]

Is she clingy all of the time? Can you pinpoint exactly when she turned clingy and find out what could have happened then? Is she only clingy in certain situations, and could you find out why?

I was an only child, and moved to different countries rather often with my parents. I was probably quite clingy at 7.5 when I moved to the UK from Germany, but not because of my only child status - just got thrown into school mid-year and had to learn a whole new language in 3 months, that's all...

[Anonymous]

I agree don't think its a only child thing but something going on in her life? My only got really clingy when his dad had an extended business trip and he started a new summer camp. A lot of changes to process and you could see that he was more nervous and anxious than normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think often only children are less unsure of themselves in large groups and are more shy. They are usually more independent though. Just something to work through I'd guess. 7.5 years isn't a terribly clingy age, but it a time when girls start getting a little more cliquey.

DD is an only and is as far from clingy as you get. The size of the group doesn't matter, she'll throw herself in there and have a great time.

OP- if this is not how your DD was think about any changes that may have affected her within the last few days or weeks (with family, friends, neighbors, camps).

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

It's common! Check out the book "your 8-yr old". Think of it as another round of separation anxiety. It seems to reoccur just before a big emotional growth spurt or even physical. Natures way of keeping the vulnerable ones safe!

[Anonymous]

PS. Book is by Louise Bates Ames

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only has never been clingy. We just took her to sleepaway camp where she knew no one and told us she was ready for us to leave.

I have one of those as well.

[Anonymous]

I have an only child and she was never clingy either. Maybe your DD is just going through a change period with a friend or something. Just be your normal loving self (I'm assuming that's the case) and give her courage/encouragement to get involved with different things.