this is a hard one

[Anonymous]

Did anyone get pregnant (by trying, not by accident) then wish that you weren't? I don't know if it is the morning sickness or what but I am thinking to myself, "oh no, it this a mistake?" I am really, really doubting myself here. I have a great husband, great life and have never felt unsure of really anything. I just wondered if anyone on the board felt the same way and had doubts?

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Yes. After the initial excitement wore off a little and the hideous all-day sickness hit, I really did wonder what on earth we were doing and why. It wasn't that I didn't want the baby, but more of a concern about whether we were really prepared for everything a baby entails. More than once I asked my husband if he was sure we could do this (thankfully he said yes!).

I'm 16 weeks now and have gotten over most of my doubts. Sure, there are still moments and probably nearly everyone has those, but they're far outweighed by excitement.

Also - baby just kicked me while I was writing that last sentence. That's pretty amazing and quickly gets me back to being thrilled!

[Anonymous]

With Baby #1, a "surprise", I was at first thrilled. And then awful throwing up, mood swings, etc set in and I said to my husband daily and therapist weekly, I don't want this baby. And I meant it. It wasn't until I was well into the 2nd trimester that I started feeling excited. I'm now pregnant with #2 and I have the exact same negative feelings. I think it's totally normal (and, by the way, the negative feelings did not, in any way, impact how I felt about the baby once she was born). I think I was scared, chronically sick, my hormones were skyrocketing and, frankly, could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. My advice would be to recognize and accept your feelings. Don't fight them. Just let them be. They will settle and you will love your baby. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I've said it throughout my pregnancy: Turns out the baby fever lasts until the moment of the positive test. Then it's like, omg, what are we going to do with a baby? But I think this is normal. Just take deep breaths, take each step as it comes, and you will settle into your pregnancy and the excitement that comes with it. At least I hope so - this has turned into an amazing experience for me and my husband, and we're ridiculously excited and scare out of our whits. It's a terrifying thing, because it does mean that your whole life is about to change.

[Anonymous]

yes. i tried so hard to get pregnant, and then STAY pregnant (had an early loss and the beginning with this one was rocky) ... after it became clear that i would get to keep this one it was like OMG now what??! am i really ready for this? totally normal. you can find out information about that on american pregnancy.com or baby-gaga.com

[Anonymous]

This is completely normal. Seriously, your life will never be the same again so I think there is a certain amount of mourning the loss of your youth, body, freedom of spontaneity, etc. However, what you get in return will be worth it.

[Anonymous]

Well, sure it is mixed bag of emotions when discovering and dealing with the news of pregnancy - for better or for worse (like marriage). The hormones and the physical adjustments can be a double edge sword - the nausea sucks, but getting to eat another helping of turkey at thanksgiving (without anyone batting an eye) is fun. The baby bump can make you feel like a whale, but the big boobs will make you feel like a porn star. And who knew farting contests with the dog can be so fun.

So, yes, pregnancy is completely life changing and overwhelming (physically, mentally, emotionally). So much to think about, so many options, so many what-ifs, and so many "envisions".

You also have to turn the page and let-go of the pre-baby lifestyle and life you had. Most people can find a good compromise and balance, but other moms (and dads) struggle.

Just wait until you actually have the baby in your arms and you arrive home for the first time from the hospital...now that is when you say, "Oh my gosh...what have we gotten ourselves into..."

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thank you so much 10:27 poster! You wrote EXACTLY what I am feeling. I am sorry you have felt/are feeling the same way because it is certainly stressful but I so appreciate you sharing your experience with me. And to everyone else, thank you as well! I am glad I'm not alone in this....!