need advice for 6 yo angry outburst behavior issues.

[Anonymous]

I don't even know where to begin, but my DD and I need help. Her behavior is so unpredictable, going from fine to angry screaming outbursts in a matter of seconds. I can't go into all the details now, but i know we need help. We are in NOVA. When I asked the ped about it 6 months ago she told me to try Parenting Playgroups. That isn't what I am looking for. I need help finding strategies to help her. I need help figuring out what the hell to do. I am mentally exhausted.

Who do you call? A psychologist? Any recommendations? She is not aggressive physically, thank god, but will scream without end, until the issue is over or she gets over it. Then it is almost like an exorcism where she usually realizes and says sorry very honestly (not always).

I want to help her and our family. I don't like my younger DS seeing this behavior.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

You can meet one-on-one with Rene Hackney who is a child psychologist and owns Parenting Playgroups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can meet one-on-one with Rene Hackney who is a child psychologist and owns Parenting Playgroups.

Agree.

OP, have you eliminated possible physical causes for this behavior? Sounds like you've covered the bases by talking with your pediatrician. Also, just try to cover the basics like enough sleep, physical activity, balanced diet, and limit screen time.

I would also consider have a neuropscyh evaluation. This behavior could be just who she is but it there may be an underlying issue like ADHD or a learning disability.

For strategies at home, I would try this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Kazdin-Method-Parenting-Defiant-Child/dp/0547085826

good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can meet one-on-one with Rene Hackney who is a child psychologist and owns Parenting Playgroups.

Agree.

OP, have you eliminated possible physical causes for this behavior? Sounds like you've covered the bases by talking with your pediatrician. Also, just try to cover the basics like enough sleep, physical activity, balanced diet, and limit screen time.

I would also consider have a neuropscyh evaluation. This behavior could be just who she is but it there may be an underlying issue like ADHD or a learning disability.

For strategies at home, I would try this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Kazdin-Method-Parenting-Defiant-Child/dp/0547085826

And this is why we have so many excuses for so much behavior now. The child is 6. In my house she'd get a quality slap. If you don't believe in that, she'd be spending quality time (well, one minute per year of age) on the Naughty Rug with no interaction from me.

My kids are not perfect, but are always complimented on their behavior in public and from teachers. It's because of accountability on our part, and some actual parenting. Flame away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can meet one-on-one with Rene Hackney who is a child psychologist and owns Parenting Playgroups.

Agree.

OP, have you eliminated possible physical causes for this behavior? Sounds like you've covered the bases by talking with your pediatrician. Also, just try to cover the basics like enough sleep, physical activity, balanced diet, and limit screen time.

I would also consider have a neuropscyh evaluation. This behavior could be just who she is but it there may be an underlying issue like ADHD or a learning disability.

For strategies at home, I would try this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Kazdin-Method-Parenting-Defiant-Child/dp/0547085826

And this is why we have so many excuses for so much behavior now. The child is 6. In my house she'd get a quality slap. If you don't believe in that, she'd be spending quality time (well, one minute per year of age) on the Naughty Rug with no interaction from me.

My kids are not perfect, but are always complimented on their behavior in public and from teachers. It's because of accountability on our part, and some actual parenting. Flame away.

Nah, we don't flame stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can meet one-on-one with Rene Hackney who is a child psychologist and owns Parenting Playgroups.

Agree.

OP, have you eliminated possible physical causes for this behavior? Sounds like you've covered the bases by talking with your pediatrician. Also, just try to cover the basics like enough sleep, physical activity, balanced diet, and limit screen time.

I would also consider have a neuropscyh evaluation. This behavior could be just who she is but it there may be an underlying issue like ADHD or a learning disability.

For strategies at home, I would try this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Kazdin-Method-Parenting-Defiant-Child/dp/0547085826

And this is why we have so many excuses for so much behavior now. The child is 6. In my house she'd get a quality slap. If you don't believe in that, she'd be spending quality time (well, one minute per year of age) on the Naughty Rug with no interaction from me.

My kids are not perfect, but are always complimented on their behavior in public and from teachers. It's because of accountability on our part, and some actual parenting. Flame away.

Nah, we don't flame stupid.

NP here, and this is not "stupid." OP has not given us enough details to jump to the conclusion that the child needs some sort of mental evaluation. We have no idea what kind of parents OP and her DH are. Maybe they've simply been tolerating this for too long, maybe the DD is a spoiled brat, maybe she's just going through a phase. In any case, I find a recommendation to run to a shrink over something like this to be irresponsible. (Unless of course, this poster IS a shrink who is just trolling for new clients.)

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am definitely not a troll. I wish. Then I wouldn't lose sleep over this.

I don't like PPs slap idea- seems counter intuitive to lose my self control to teach her to have some.

I just put the kazdin book on hold and will pick it up tomorrow.

I don't know if she needs some major evaluation or not, but I do know we need help. I am not handling it well. I am not necessarily looking for a name- more like what type of DR or therapist to look at for help.

Thanks to PPs with suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can meet one-on-one with Rene Hackney who is a child psychologist and owns Parenting Playgroups.

Agree.

OP, have you eliminated possible physical causes for this behavior? Sounds like you've covered the bases by talking with your pediatrician. Also, just try to cover the basics like enough sleep, physical activity, balanced diet, and limit screen time.

I would also consider have a neuropscyh evaluation. This behavior could be just who she is but it there may be an underlying issue like ADHD or a learning disability.

For strategies at home, I would try this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Kazdin-Method-Parenting-Defiant-Child/dp/0547085826

And this is why we have so many excuses for so much behavior now. The child is 6. In my house she'd get a quality slap. If you don't believe in that, she'd be spending quality time (well, one minute per year of age) on the Naughty Rug with no interaction from me.

My kids are not perfect, but are always complimented on their behavior in public and from teachers. It's because of accountability on our part, and some actual parenting. Flame away.

Nah, we don't flame stupid.

NP here, and this is not "stupid." OP has not given us enough details to jump to the conclusion that the child needs some sort of mental evaluation. We have no idea what kind of parents OP and her DH are. Maybe they've simply been tolerating this for too long, maybe the DD is a spoiled brat, maybe she's just going through a phase. In any case, I find a recommendation to run to a shrink over something like this to be irresponsible. (Unless of course, this poster IS a shrink who is just trolling for new clients.)

It is stupid because she assumes all children are the same and a slap will cure everything.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's a combination of things.

Just an idea - food allergies as well as parasite in the guts can also lead to temper tantrums.

[Anonymous]

Brilliant 20:06!

20:41 A neuropsych evaluation isn't a "mental" evaluation.

"Pediatric neuropsychological evaluations provide an integrated understanding of your child’s cognitive, academic, emotional and behavioral functioning and how these relate to the child’s brain structures and systems."

1 out of 5 people in the US have a learning disability. It's not too late for you--even adults can be tested.

[Anonymous]

Go get a neuropsych for your DD. It will be the best money you have spent on her and for your family. I highly recommend Dr. Beth Corliss at MindWell. She has worked with our children over the years and I no longer have the stress that you have and my kids are happy.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It is stupid because she assumes all children are the same and a slap will cure everything.

No, you missed "If you don't believe in that, she'd be spending quality time (well, one minute per year of age) on the Naughty Rug with no interaction from me."

Two suggestions, pick the non-pansy choice that works for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It is stupid because she assumes all children are the same and a slap will cure everything.

No, you missed "If you don't believe in that, she'd be spending quality time (well, one minute per year of age) on the Naughty Rug with no interaction from me."

Two suggestions, pick the non-pansy choice that works for your family.

That PP (saying she puts her kid on the Naughty Rug) has no idea about the kinds of kids who, no matter how well you do that kind of thing, will not sit on the rug. My DD is nearly 8 and still has tantrums. We won't hit, but we have always done time out, etc., only now it doesn't work. She won't go to her bedroom. You have to physically hold the door or lock her in somewhere if you wanted to do that. We realized something is different about this kid (we have another one so we know it's not just parenting) and we're glad in the end we trusted our gut feeling and didn't just try to ram down ridiculous discipline methods that don't work for all kids. We went to a psychologist who spends about half the time with me helping me work out coping mechanisms and half the time with her on CBT to manage her issues. We have unraveled the specific issues - it was very complicated. It's still tough, but it helps to know that it's not our fault and it's okay to pick your battles and take a calm but firm approach. It's not cheap, but seeing a psychologist could help you get some perspective.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Supernanny never had issues with children who "wouldn't" sit on the rug. You just continue to put them on it without interacting with them, and they will eventually stay on it for the specified time.

Oh how the kids are in charge of so many families now. Imagine being a teacher and trying to control a whole room full of these snowflakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Supernanny never had issues with children who "wouldn't" sit on the rug. You just continue to put them on it without interacting with them, and they will eventually stay on it for the specified time.

Oh how the kids are in charge of so many families now. Imagine being a teacher and trying to control a whole room full of these snowflakes.

You're responding to my post and I AM a teacher!

Supernanny also left out a lot of stuff in between.

Would you suggest locking a kid in a room if that's the only way you can 'break' them?