New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Rising A form mom here. Is basketball the only sport that cuts players at this age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a lacrosse culture at St. Albans?

Do you mean do lots of boys play the sport? Yes. It's quite common to see a boy, whether lower, middle or high school, with a stick in his hand throughout the campus. it is part of gym class starting in 4th grade, many boys were playing club level well before then, and it is a common sight after school to see the boys waiting for pickup playing catch (or wacking each other with the sticks).

Do you mean is it a high visibility sport at the school? Yes. The team has not been a winner in years, as it plays in a conference with some of the best teams in the region, arguably even in the country. Other sports like crew and soccer and cross country win more often. But there is a new lacrosse coach and there are signs winning seasons may not be too far off. Even without winning records or conference championships, the sport has quite a grip on the school. The boys, the administration, and many families seem to place a great emphasis on the sport.

Do you mean are the lax players boorish, and sexist, and drunks (i.e., the "lacrosse culture"), absolutely not. The boys like their flow, and may throw out a surfer boy aura, but they are just like most other STA boys - bright, hard working, polite, good kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a lacrosse culture at St. Albans?

Do you mean do lots of boys play the sport? Yes. It's quite common to see a boy, whether lower, middle or high school, with a stick in his hand throughout the campus. it is part of gym class starting in 4th grade, many boys were playing club level well before then, and it is a common sight after school to see the boys waiting for pickup playing catch (or wacking each other with the sticks).

Do you mean is it a high visibility sport at the school? Yes. The team has not been a winner in years, as it plays in a conference with some of the best teams in the region, arguably even in the country. Other sports like crew and soccer and cross country win more often. But there is a new lacrosse coach and there are signs winning seasons may not be too far off. Even without winning records or conference championships, the sport has quite a grip on the school. The boys, the administration, and many families seem to place a great emphasis on the sport.

Do you mean are the lax players boorish, and sexist, and drunks (i.e., the "lacrosse culture"), absolutely not. The boys like their flow, and may throw out a surfer boy aura, but they are just like most other STA boys - bright, hard working, polite, good kids.

Wasn't this question posted a very long time ago?

[Anonymous]

What are the best activities for a parent to volunteer for to quickly get into the life of the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the best activities for a parent to volunteer for to quickly get into the life of the school?

There seem to be lots of volunteer opportunities for the Christmas House Tour (big fundraiser for faculty that includes a tour of some nice homes; a big bazaar/craft sale thingie at the school; a lunch at the school for patrons who have bought tickets to the House Tour; and a faculty/parent dinner dance). That's in early December. Then, in the spring, there is the "Flower Mart" which is a giant bazaar/fair thingie to benefit the Cathedral, and parents at each of the schools volunteer for whatever the school is doing to make money at FlowerMart (I think St. Albans runs a tea-house?). There is also a "Faculty Appreciation Lunch" in early June and lots of parents volunteer to decorate the dining room, help prepare and serve dishes, etc.

There also seem to be a fair amount of opportunities to volunteer in a team setting if your child is older -- for example, helping run the concession stand at baseball/football games, or helping with work when the school hosts tournaments in basketball/wrestling.

Welcome! Hope your son really likes STA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the best activities for a parent to volunteer for to quickly get into the life of the school?

There seem to be lots of volunteer opportunities for the Christmas House Tour (big fundraiser for faculty that includes a tour of some nice homes; a big bazaar/craft sale thingie at the school; a lunch at the school for patrons who have bought tickets to the House Tour; and a faculty/parent dinner dance). That's in early December. Then, in the spring, there is the "Flower Mart" which is a giant bazaar/fair thingie to benefit the Cathedral, and parents at each of the schools volunteer for whatever the school is doing to make money at FlowerMart (I think St. Albans runs a tea-house?). There is also a "Faculty Appreciation Lunch" in early June and lots of parents volunteer to decorate the dining room, help prepare and serve dishes, etc.

There also seem to be a fair amount of opportunities to volunteer in a team setting if your child is older -- for example, helping run the concession stand at baseball/football games, or helping with work when the school hosts tournaments in basketball/wrestling.

Welcome! Hope your son really likes STA.

I think if you start attending the monthly Parents' Association meetings you'll get a good ear to the ground re: volunteer opportunities.

[Anonymous]

I know that numbers-wise, STA is a diverse school. How does it work in practice. Do the non-white, non-Christians fit in?

[Anonymous]

https://www.stalbansschool.org/headmasters-study---vance-wilson---homilies---2013-14---opening-day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that numbers-wise, STA is a diverse school. How does it work in practice. Do the non-white, non-Christians fit in?

Re: non-Christians, the chapel program is really more moral/ethical than Episcopalian in feel -- most of the homilies are from boys or faculty members sharing what is important to them. Re: students of color, they are well-represented in elected leadership positions, active in the arts and sports, and I think most would say they've made good and real friendships with a good cross-section of their class. If you ask me, the biggest challenge comes from the level of affluence -- students of any race/ethnicity from modest financial backgrounds can run into some (generally) unconscious insensitivity about disparities in income level, possessions, etc. Good feel overall, though -- by senior year when the boys talk about classmates as being their "brothers" they seem to really mean it.

[Anonymous]

Perceptive comment, 22:48. I would agree that any differences are more economic than they are racial/ethnic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a lacrosse culture at St. Albans?

Do you mean do lots of boys play the sport? Yes. It's quite common to see a boy, whether lower, middle or high school, with a stick in his hand throughout the campus. it is part of gym class starting in 4th grade, many boys were playing club level well before then, and it is a common sight after school to see the boys waiting for pickup playing catch (or wacking each other with the sticks).

Do you mean is it a high visibility sport at the school? Yes. The team has not been a winner in years, as it plays in a conference with some of the best teams in the region, arguably even in the country. Other sports like crew and soccer and cross country win more often. But there is a new lacrosse coach and there are signs winning seasons may not be too far off. Even without winning records or conference championships, the sport has quite a grip on the school. The boys, the administration, and many families seem to place a great emphasis on the sport.

Do you mean are the lax players boorish, and sexist, and drunks (i.e., the "lacrosse culture"), absolutely not. The boys like their flow, and may throw out a surfer boy aura, but they are just like most other STA boys - bright, hard working, polite, good kids.

Walsh is a good guy, but it will take more than that to turn the program around. The school is among the best academic schools in the area, so that makes it a difficult sell for some prospective applicants who play lacrosse. The admissions staff also does not loosen academic standards just because someone is good at lacrosse, so STA is at a big disadvantage compared to its peers.

Compared to many other private schools in the area, STA has a small lacrosse talent pool in terms of quantity and quality. Combine that with several other strong spring programs at STA, and there is a reason why the program has been struggling for years.

[Anonymous]

Any advice for a family of modest financial means on the fence about applying for 4th grade? How much FA is available? My gut tells me we would be happier at a public school system, and that DS will thrive almost anywhere provided academics are solid and he fits in socially. Have you seen families leave solely for financial reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any advice for a family of modest financial means on the fence about applying for 4th grade? How much FA is available? My gut tells me we would be happier at a public school system, and that DS will thrive almost anywhere provided academics are solid and he fits in socially. Have you seen families leave solely for financial reasons?

We're a family in a lower SES, in hindsight, we would have been much happier at an academically, solid public school where our DS would have experienced a better social fit. I have seen struggling families leave for financial and also social reasons. FA is based upon HHI. Strongly consider this: a poor social fit can negatively impact a student's academic achievement and by extension their self esteem. If you have access to a solid public school, really weigh your options. Follow your gut! Our DS has done fine both academically and socially. I wouldn't describe his experience as thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any advice for a family of modest financial means on the fence about applying for 4th grade? How much FA is available? My gut tells me we would be happier at a public school system, and that DS will thrive almost anywhere provided academics are solid and he fits in socially. Have you seen families leave solely for financial reasons?

If you like your local public, sure, stick with your gut. Although St. Albans gives a lot of FA for this area (1 in 4 students receive financial aid), what the gurus in Princeton NJ (where the FA forms are evaluated by a service used by all the independent schools) think you can pay will definitely require significant sacrifice even if the school gives you the full amount calculated as your need. Then there are the extras.

Socially, it's been my experience (and maybe it is the all boys thing) that there's a good mix socially (often because of athletics) regardless of financial background, but it can really be tough as a family of modest means to have your child soaking up the idea that it is normal for teenagers to drive 40,000 cars; for the whole family to go on fabulous and expensive foreign vacations as a matter of course; and for everyone to have a wallet full of money to fund multiple daily trips to Chipotle.

I'm a fan of St. Albans -- I think they do education, and boys' education, really well -- but I do think it can be an oddly hothouse environment. One sort of counter-intuitive example is school trips. When I was growing up, coming from a family of modest means, we just couldn't go on any expensive school trips -- that was how it was. Now schools like St. Albans make sure that all the kids, even those on FA, can go on school trips. Great for inclusion, but tough in a weird way if you are trying to teach your child that nothing comes for free. I think college, where it's back to "if you can't pay you don't go" can help reverse that, but it is sometimes tough being the parent and always reminding the kid to look at the price tag when so many of the other kids don't have to.

[Anonymous]

For college applicants, which transcripts are provided to the colleges - from as far back as 9th grade?