Do you tell your DC's sport team coach of your DC's special need?

[Anonymous]

My DC has ADHD. He is going to join a soccer team which has professional coaches. The practice will
get more serious than the rec team he played before.
Should I tell the coach of my DC's ADHD? Should I just let the coach handle it in his own way.
Furthermore, should I tell the coach before we accept the offer to see his response, to see
if he has experience in working with kids with ADHD. Would the coach take back the offer if he knows my DC
has ADHD.

Thanks for any input!!

[Anonymous]

I volunteer coach my DC tball team, and there's a kid with obvious issues on the team. Quite honestly we really wish the parents would have said something to us in advance, or even throughout the season, just so we have some tools to handle the child. We are not professionals and have no real idea. Some of the techniques we try seem to work, and others don't, and the parents are very involved, so we just stumble along.

[Anonymous]

Does your son have an IEP? I think to withhold this vital information from anyone working closely with your son would be a disservice to him. I'd discuss this with the coaches privately and use this time to briefly state any areas of concern you may have that may be relevant in the coaching situation . Then, don't hover, but could you maybe be around at the first few practices to quietly observe?

Also, give the coaches a wide berth and be open and kind to them. You don't want them to single out your son, but be able to suss out his strengths and weaknesses, just like the others.

My DH was a youth basketball coach last season and really had a difficult time with a player with some obvious special needs that the family never, ever disclosed. It was a guessing game and the parents were not open to realizing there was a problem.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Yes, he has an IEP. He is easy to get distracted, has relatively hard time in taking
verbal instructions, is better in learning visually, doesn't plan ahead during game time.
His strength is speed, eager to play/practice, lots of energy.
Do coaches generally not like to take kids with ADHD? My concern is the coach would single DC
out in the future if he has hard time working with DC.
Or should I just let DC learn to figure out his weakness in a hard way?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

We also have a DS with ADHD though he was only diagnosed just before the season started. It was DS's behavior in sports that was on of the issues that pushed us to get an evaluation. Coaches would also state "incredible athlete, but so unfocused." I wish we would've said something, and I think we would do so in the future. I was afraid DS would be singled out, but I think the coaches would've reacted differently if they knew DS is trying to pay attention to instructions and just cant for long periods of time.

[Anonymous]

If this is an experience coach, I'm sure your son is not the first or the only kid with ADHD that he has coach. ADHD is very very common. I would tell the coach. He'll appreciate the heads up rather than finding out later when there maybe issues.

I think parents do a disservice by not telling other people like teachers and coaches about their child's SNs when it is relevant to their child's activity. It's simply a matter of knowing now or later and everyone appreciates knowing now rather than finding out the hard way.

[Anonymous]

As a coach, please tell as soon as you can! It doesn't change how I treat a child, but helps me adjust my teaching/coaching appropriately. For me, each kid is different and requires different styles of coaching and it helps me greatly to be informed.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely tell the coaches, and I would throw in some advice about how bring out the best in your child.

Is this club soccer? They are not going to boot your kid because of their special need. He may not make a team in the future because there are children who are better able to focus and play (and are therefore better than your kid at playing soccer on a team), but it won't be simply because of the special need.

[Anonymous]

We told our son's coaches. Not only is ADHD an attention issue, but it is also a safety issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely tell the coaches, and I would throw in some advice about how bring out the best in your child.

Is this club soccer? They are not going to boot your kid because of their special need. He may not make a team in the future because there are children who are better able to focus and play (and are therefore better than your kid at playing soccer on a team), but it won't be simply because of the special need.

Or he is better because he can hyper focus, is intense and better at interpreting space.

[Anonymous]

I would not tell him. The term ADHD is meaningless to most.

I would say something like he has problem focusing on lots of verbal instructions and we are working with him. So if you notice him off task he can only follow 2 steps at a time or he will understand better if another child shows him because he is good with visual instructions.

[Anonymous]

I didn't tell the club soccer coach that my son has ADHD. I thought about it but wanted my son to realize that he is going to have to work harder in life to focus and that there are consequences for not focusing or being impulsive. My son has an IEP and I am glad that he gets needed accommodations in school that help him reach his full academic ability. However, playing soccer to your true potential isn't a necessity in life. It might help him in the short term to have the coach repeat directions or tell him to keep his hands to himself, but long term in life at his future job he needs to learn that he is going to have to work harder and focus. In school there aren't any consequences for not paying attention or focusing or being overly active. He just gets the directions repeated or reminded to keep his hands to himself. I worry that he is becoming too dependent in a way and doesn't realize there are consequences. Soccer is the one area that I want him to realize that if he doesn't try harder than other kids to focus and control himself, there are immediate consequences - he will have to run laps or get taken out of a game. It has been hard for him, but he has gotten so much better because he loves playing soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC has ADHD. He is going to join a soccer team which has professional coaches. The practice will
get more serious than the rec team he played before.
Should I tell the coach of my DC's ADHD? Should I just let the coach handle it in his own way.
Furthermore, should I tell the coach before we accept the offer to see his response, to see
if he has experience in working with kids with ADHD. Would the coach take back the offer if he knows my DC
has ADHD.

Thanks for any input!!

OP, my 10 year old DS has ADHD and swims competitively and plays on his school's basketball team. The fact that he has ADHD has never come up but I have no problem telling anyone about it. Most people I tell just say "Really?" and leave it at that. He is on medication but takes in at breakfast because it is time released so there is no administration of meds at school. DD is going to a swim camp for competitive swimmers and when I told the coach about DS' ADHD and necessity to take medication daily, he simply instructed me to give the meds to the athletic director and tell him what needs to be done. No one really cares as long as your child is well behaved and can focus on the drills and when in a game. My DS doesn't even think much of it except he has to take a pill in the morning. The school knows because he has a 504 plan and has some supports in place. DS is very competitive and does well on his swim and basketball teams. There is no need to tell the coach unless there is a focus issue and your DS needs to be redirected occasionally but if it is constant redirection that distracts the coaching staff from coaching and giving other kids attention, then you may want to talk to your pediatrician about starting DS on a low dose of stimulants.

[Anonymous]

Michael Phelps has ADHD.

The coaches have seen it before. Many times.

Tell the coaches so they won't label him a bad kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Yes, he has an IEP. He is easy to get distracted, has relatively hard time in taking
verbal instructions, is better in learning visually, doesn't plan ahead during game time.
His strength is speed, eager to play/practice, lots of energy.
Do coaches generally not like to take kids with ADHD? My concern is the coach would single DC
out in the future if he has hard time working with DC.
Or should I just let DC learn to figure out his weakness in a hard way?

Thanks!

This is what I would tell the coach, OP. I would not say "He has ADHD." It does not give any substantive or constructive information.