Vacationing without the kids
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Anonymous
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When my SIL was pregnant with her first, she kept saying she couldn't wait until she had the kid so that her and spouse can go on vacation alone and "recharge their batteries". I found it strange. I was convinced that once she had the kid she would change her mind. Well, she had the kid and when he was four months old, they left him for 8 days with my MIL while they went to the Caribbean.
I thought she would have missed the baby and would never do it again. Well she had a great time. Then she has another kid, they are 15 months apart. She did the same thing. She left my widowed MIL with a 3 month and 18 month old for 8 days. MIL is in her late 60s. She was overwhelmed, we tried help her. She told them she can no longer do that. My SIL was pissed. Thoughts on this? I think it's pretty unmotherly to leave them that young. I think vacations are for FAMILY. I think I would be okay with a weekend away when the kids are OLDER, not babies. The sad part is, they recently got divorced. I guess the vacations and alone time didn't help. The reason I bring it up is SIL was pissed off at the MIL and brought this up. |
Anonymous
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everyone is different. my husband and I are planning a night away when baby is 11 months old. but we have reliable grandparents and just one baby so that makes it easier. Your SIL sounds a bit nuts, is she really entitled in other areas of her life?
for me personally, I can't wait to have some real alone time with my husband. we have a great time together. We love our baby but it isn't the same. We also leave her with a babysitter with love so we do get date nights. |
Anonymous
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When kids are seen as accessories, what do you expect?
Sad though because 8 days is too long for someone that old to have kids that young. Even if she were 20 years younger, that is still too long for kids in their needy/crazy stage. |
Anonymous
Date nights are the BEST. A night away is fine, eight days is crazy. Yes she is entitled. She gets mad about everything. When she was pregnant and even before she was pregnant. She always said she will never work when she had kids. Then after the second, she had to go back to work. She was furious at her spouse, that he didn't make enough for her to stay home. I think that was the beginning of the end for them. She would ask crazy questions such as : What's easier working or being a SAHM? What's easier breast or bottle feeding? She never asked what is better, she only wanted to know what is easier. OMG, I must tell this story. Her kid told me at the DINNER table at MILs " I know you and grandma ( my MIL ) hate each other." his face was beaming with excitement as he continued to tell me that he knows that " secret about me." He is older now and can talk. So obviously my ex SIL bad mouths me and MIL. |
Anonymous
It is too long. I think initially my MIL thought it was great to spend that time with the kids, until reality set in. |
Anonymous
| My kids are 24, 20, 19, 17, and 12. We have never taken a vacation without them. I am not a martyr. I just have no desire to go on vacation without my kids and neither does my husband. We do lots of date nights. We sail together. We work out together. But we vacation as a family. |
Anonymous
OP here, I am the same way. I have never either. I am less judgmental when people do it when kids area bit older, but I will admit I am judgmental about this. |
Anonymous
+1. OP, your SIL sounds like one of those moms with whom I can't relate, and whom I don't understand. Wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from my infant overnight for even one night, never mind eight. |
Anonymous
| OP here, no I could never relate to her. She was so out there . |
Anonymous
| We have taken a few short trips alone as a couple since having kids. I'm talking about 5 trips in the past 9 years. Longest was 4 days, and my ILs have always stayed with my daughter or, more recently with both kids, while we were gone. Both were at least 2 when we went, not babies. I couldn't be away from my kids for 8 days. We enjoy our time away but talk about them constantly while we are gone. |
Anonymous
| This post is about your gripes with your SIL, not vacationing without kids. Next time call it what it is. And frankly, it's lame to look for anonymous online support for your hatred of someone when you are the one who chooses what details to share. From how you've presented yourself I'd bet your SIL (and MIL too, it sounds like) would have some choice things to share about you as well. But how about being an adult and not worrying about things that have nothing to do with you, like your SIL's vacation schedule. |
Anonymous
Take your own advice and stop getting worked up about things that don't concern you, such as the OP. |
Anonymous
Your admission isn't really necessary, it's pretty apparent that you look down on this. Whatever. For a few days every year, my son spends time alone at his grandparents' house so my husband and I can get away for a few days and take a vacation that a 7 yo would hate. We've done this for 4 years now. Everyone involved loves it - kid, grandparents, and parents. Given all that, I'm simply crushed that you feel that I am "unmotherly." |
Anonymous
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Do I think your SIL is acting like a brat to be pissed that your MIL feels 2 kids that age for that long is too much? Yes
Do I think there is a problem with your SIL vacationing without her kids? No Some vacations are for families, some are for couples, some are for individuals. I have left my kids with family and will do so again this summer (kids are 3 & 5). Only reason I didn't leave them as infants is that mine didn't STTN and I didn't think I could ask that of others. |
Anonymous
| OP and others who feel the same way about leaving your babies overnight, what do you think of working moms (or dads, for that matter) who have to go on business trips and leave their babies? |