Tips to nicely distance yourself from a low performer

[Anonymous]

In general I seem to be a likable person and people always want to chat and hang out with me at work.

When I first started I befriended everyone but after figuring out the slackers vs the performers in the office I would like to disassociate myself from the low performers.

Is this rude or bad? Does anyone else do this?

[Anonymous]

I sort of get what you mean. You don't want to be known as the person who always hangs out with the grumblers who aren't going anywhere. you also don't have time to chit-chat with everyone who stops by your desk.

Here are my suggestions:
1) chat with someone for 5 minutes who comes by, and then say, "I really have to get back to this TPS report. You know how it is!" and then smile. They should walk away or get a clue.
2) Don't eat lunch with the same people every day. I had to learn this the hard way--this looks very cliquey, even if everyone is a high performer. Use the time to meet new coworkers, eat with someone knew and get to know them or do errands. Or do work at your desk once in a while and leave earlier?
3) You still need to be friendly to everyone, and realize that you will be judged on your own performance,for the most part. Image is important though, but just keep your head down and do good work and that should keep you afloat.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to keep it friendly with everyone, but decline 2 hour lunches out with slackers by bringing your own lunch, or just grabbing a quick lunch at the nearest cafeteria. Don't join slackers in Starbucks breaks - bring your own coffee. Don't spend half an hour talking about your weekend - "oh it was good! Hung out at the pool. How was yours? . . . Oh, that's great! See you around!"

[Anonymous]

I know exactly what you mean, OP. The worst is when these people want to complain about the boss or other senior folks, usually about how the boss is coming down on them (unfairly!) for slacking. And inevitably the boss will walk by during one of these conversations. I try to just smile and shrug in a "What can you do?" way. Do not engage, do not encourage, do not offer any fertile ground for their complaints to land on.

As for the sociable co-worker who drops by your office and won't take the hint when you say you're busy or even when you stand up from your desk -- invent a reason to physically leave your desk, either a meeting or a restroom trip. Even if the person accompanies you to the restroom, you usually can break off the conversation on the way back.

[Anonymous]

I stopped socializing out of the office with slackers. People do notice that birds of a feather flock together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general I seem to be a likable person and people always want to chat and hang out with me at work.

When I first started I befriended everyone but after figuring out the slackers vs the performers in the office I would like to disassociate myself from the low performers.

Is this rude or bad? Does anyone else do this?

If you have so much time to befriend everyone, are you sure the top performers don't see you as a slacker?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I sea slacker coming, I pick up my phone and pretend to talk.

[Anonymous]

See not sea