anxiety in 9 yr old - what to do?

[Anonymous]

DS's teacher told me that he is very sensitive and gets upset at the slightest perceived criticism - whenever she corrects his work, no matter how gently, he tears up. Also she said he gets very defensive if she asks a simple question, such as why was he late to school. She did say that he rebounds quickly and is all smiles in relatively short order, but this still concerns me. She said he's also very affected by the highs and lows of the moods around him in the classroom. She described him as a very anxious kid (she said this with all kindness and in an effort to help). None of this was a surprise to me in that he acts the same way at home, but I was surprised that this has spilled into school. Any suggestions of books to read to help my DS be less anxious? Or other resources to try? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Read this:
http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Overwhelms/dp/0767908724

It may or may not apply to your DC. It helped me focus on the positives that my highly sensitive kid has to offer the world as well as provided some strategies on helping me guide my DC to develop coping strategies to interact in a much less sensitive world.

[Anonymous]

My 8yo DD is like this and we have just started her on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with a psychologist. I figure she may as well get all the coping mechanisms she can while she's young. She seems to be enjoying talking things through. Hopefully it will help. Insurance covers most of it, but it is pricey.

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist to possibly try medication such as SSRIs?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am not opposed to CBT or meds if necessary, but I'm also not sure we are there yet - that's why I'd love to read up on anxiety in kids to get a sense of at what point those methods are deemed necessary, and what are some strategies to try in the meanwhile.

[Anonymous]

Please get some therapy for your DC. This was my DC at that age and it only got worse.

[Anonymous]

Therapy. Start there. At the practice we go to there is an intake coordinator. She sets up a first screening call with a therapist. The therapist can then tell you whether your child would benefit from therapy and recommend books. You can't do this on your own.

[Anonymous]

Bonnie Zucker has a great book, and CBT is very helpful for anxiety. I think it's valuable to start helping a child build skills and develop strategies earlier rather than later.

[Anonymous]

After lots of tries like social skills groups, etc., family friends have now tried SSRIs combined with cognitive therapy for their highly anxious 10 yr old. Big improvement, by all accounts. Parents wish they had tried this combination earlier.

[Anonymous]

This post could be about my DD. she has been in therapy for years ( she is a teen) and just started mess .. hUGE improvement with meds . . moderate improvements w therapy alone.

[Anonymous]

I'm 19:52 from this thread http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/312006.page . From your brief post, I think it would be helpful for you to speak with a psychologist. We first noticed anxiety in our DS when he was about 4.5. He started avoiding social situations where he didn't know all the kids - and I mean ALL the kids. When we realized we had a problem, we spoke to our pediatrician who recommended a psychologist as well as an evaluation with a occupational therapist (OT). We were able to get an appt. with the psychologist first. The first meeting was with DH and I only. He took a case history, asked us lots of questions and suggested we first pursue the OT evaluation. If that didn't help, come back and see him. The OT evaluation was helpful, revealed DS had some motor planning/coordination issues as well as some emotional regulation issues that OT helped.

DS was always very sensitive, reacting much the way you describe when he didn't just shut down all together. Things got really, really bad as he anticipated starting 2nd grade. We were all miserable and I was pushed to my limit (and I'm really resilient). That's when we tried another psychologist and CBT. If you read the other thread you can get the summary. I do think you should start to address the issue now. Your DS may not need medication but the techniques he learns to help him control and change his emotional state are life skills that will benefit him his whole life. HTH

[Anonymous]

My kid was like the PP's too. Lots of anxiety- hated new situations, new faces, etc., etc. Therapy helped- DC learned some techniques to handle his anxiety. As he got older and learned to better verbalize his feelings and recognize when the feelings were coming on and strategies and techniques on how to handle them. The change has been impressive.

It was hard, but medication was not needed- just lots of patience at home and at school. Now DC's teachers are surprised when they hear he even had issues to begin with. But I do agree it's better to get help now before your child gets older and it possibly gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Op here - thanks very much for all of the responses. I am going to call our pediatrician to start getting names of therapists, and I will definitely look into the NIMH study, thank you, PP. To be honest I wasn't planning to jump right to seeing a specialist as part of what I couldn't wrap my head around was whether DS even needs that level of intervention (plenty of people have some level of anxiety but not all need therapy or meds), but after reading your responses I realize that the therapist herself can help us figure out if my son needs therapy, meds, or neither - and the collective wisdom is that it only helped. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

There's a book by Dr. Doug Riley - I heard him on a talk radio program a few months back. He provided really great strategies for dealing with anxiety in kids. A few have worked for my DD.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP with the teen daughter with anxiety. I have recommended this place before but they are great. Ross center for anxiety in Chevy chase. They have specialists in all areas. They have psychologists and psychiatrists and many specialize in teens.