my child was sick when he tested and now scores aren't so great - i feel like it is my fault

[Anonymous]

hi. my child was sick when we tested. i thought it was just the sniffles but he came down with a high fever, cold within an hour of taking the test. i am upset not b/c of the scores themself but b/c i feel like it is my fault and that he didn't perfom as well as he would have. all of his teachers and my friends always say how well he speaks and are amazed at his vocabulary, so this is not me just trying to make him out to be smarter than he is. it is about me once again feeling like i have somehow let my child down even though i feel like i am usually trying my best. i also feel like he doesn't have enough friends or playdates and i worry about that as well. i think he is lonely for other children and needs more children, although he is in preschool 3 days a week. parenting is so hard...sometimes i feel like i am such a good mom and other times i feel like i am letting my children down in one way or another. washington is so wonderful but i wonder if the expectations here are just too high. i do read to him all of the time and he never watched tv until 2 but now watched too much tv since new baby has come. i am at home full time with them which i love most of the time but i don't have any sitters lately and that is taking its toll as we have all been quite ill which means no sleep. worried that he won't get into a good private school. worried that we can even afford the private school. is that putting too much pressure on my husband. wow, thanks for letting me vent! i should send you all the check i would have had to pay to talk with a therapist! i guess sometimes you just need to vent and i am a super private person who only really shares her utmost feelings with her husband. i have a lot of friends and family but i don't share these inner most thoughts with them. thanks for allowing me to do so in a private and "safe" setting.

[Anonymous]

I am sure everyone who lives in this area feels the way you do. Being a SAHM can be very isolating. Just love your son and have a good time w/ him while you can. Try not to get sucked into the idea that he has to be going all the time. Preschool 3 day a week is plenty! I think I went to preschool 2 mornings a week at age 3 and maybe 3 mornings a week at age 4 and I ended up just fine (as did my friends). Those who believe that TV is bad and kids shouldn't watch any probably aren't SAHM. I watched HOURS of TV as a child (my mom used to put us in a playpen to watch 2 hrs of Sesame Street every morning while she cleaned and did laundry, etc). We aren't scarred for life. My son is nearly 3 and watched more TV in the wintertime when it is too cold to go outside for long. It is very hard to juggle a baby and a preschooler so don't feel guilty about your son watching TV. If he can take his test again, do it. If not, don't stress. The older I get, the more I believe that things happen for a reason. Hang in there

[Anonymous]

Please don't put so much pressure on yourself. First, it isn't healthy, and second, you cannot do/control everything. I grew up in this are and honestly we Washingtonians are the most uptight stressed out people! Try to focus on all the great things you do for your kids--you are home with them and giving them the love, attention, and support they need (this is not a slam on working moms--I am a working mom), second your son is getting interaction at pre-school 3 days a week--good for him and good for you to have time to focus just on your other child. You have a bright, verbal child--you raised that child, so good for you. Keep doing what you're doing.

If you think he could have scored better under other circumstances on his tests, can you have him retested? If not, and he doesn't get into your top school(s), can you reapply next year?

[Anonymous]

op here. thank you to you both for your supportive and positive posts. it is appreciated. he can't test again, as rules say only once a year, but worse to worse we can reapply next year, although our chances won't be as good. i think it will be ok. i just felt like i shouldn't have had him take the test with the sniffles and did it anyway, but felt i had no choice with the time constraints of deadlines. anyway, his teachers told me he is the best talker in his class so i know it was due to his bad cold that he didn't do so well on the verbal. anyway, i am just overtired with two sick kids and i am sick as well...up all night, etc.. and no help at the moment but am working on that. two weeks ago we were happy campers hanging out and having a ball. it is funny how things can get turned upside down within a week! anyway, thank you once again for your posts. i appreciate it!