Do your kids constantly ask for things?

[Anonymous]

I mean not just in the store. I don't remember it being constant the way my kids have been behaving lately (5/4), more my DD 5 keeps stating, directing, whining for things and her way. Is this what people mean by entitlement? I have been an ogre and saying no deliberately to stop it. I told DD to stop with the all about her behavior. I can't help reflecting to the way I was when I was her age. Are all kids like this at this age or mine?

[Anonymous]

My kids never really asked for things at that age. Now that they are older, one just puts any money in the bank and the other picks a big ticket item and saves for that. However, I did not do anything to encourage this or discourage it, they just came that way. I hate to shop, so they did not go very often, perhaps that was part of it.

[Anonymous]

I would ignore her whining (literally turn away from her and ignore her) but then positively reinforce all other behaviors (walking nicely, helping pick out fruit, holding your hand in the parking lot). Reward her for her positive behavior with attention and smiles. Talk to her in advance about what the visit to the store is for ("we're picking out cereal for Daddy and some meat for dinner. Can you help remember the two things?"). With my DD, sometimes I let her pick out one thing that she wanted in the grocery store. It was funny, sometime she picked out the funniest things (a bag of frozen peas). Or do a bingo game with her. Put some items on a list with pictures and see if she can cross them off as you shop.

Anyway, you can change this pattern but I wouldn't make it a control issue between DD and you, I would make alternate ways of behaving more rewarding and fun for her. GL!

[Anonymous]

My kids knew that whining did not work, period. They might get a small toy or something every so often, but it was when I decided that they could have something, not when they decided they wanted something.

Stop the behavior now, or it will just get worse as they get older!

[Anonymous]

My DD is 10 and no, she doesn't. She hints around about things "Oh, that looks like so much fun! Kaya has that! I could play with that with my easel!" until I finally either say, "Let's get it," or "Yeah it does look cool but we're not getting that."

However, the hinting is not constant. One thing I started when she was about 2, that I do even to this day, is if we're going into a toy store or even the drugstore and she asks to look in the toy aisle, is I set her expectations. "We're only looking, not buying."

[Anonymous]

My kid asks for things all of the time. I tell him "sorry, we don't have enough money." He's not even 5 yet, so he has no idea what things cost.

[Anonymous]

My kids ask for nothing although they have plenty. They don't shop a lot though. Most of our shopping is online and we don't watch much TV.

[Anonymous]

Yes. They are much better now at 5 and 8. I tell them to put it on 'birthday or xmas list'...and save allowance. When they were younger they wanted instant gratification. We also are in the stores a lot less together. When they were toddlers we'd hit the train tables at B&N and our local toy store so they were around toys all the time.

Now they are good about picking a toy out for a friend and leaving without anything for themselves. IT took work. First grader has also been doing money segments at school and we are teaching more about the value of things, spending wisely and saving. My parents did this for us and I always had excellent credit. You can't start too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. They are much better now at 5 and 8. I tell them to put it on 'birthday or xmas list'...and save allowance. When they were younger they wanted instant gratification. We also are in the stores a lot less together. When they were toddlers we'd hit the train tables at B&N and our local toy store so they were around toys all the time.

Now they are good about picking a toy out for a friend and leaving without anything for themselves. IT took work. First grader has also been doing money segments at school and we are teaching more about the value of things, spending wisely and saving. My parents did this for us and I always had excellent credit. You can't start too young.

DH's rule is also 'something must go out before something can come in'. He is always waging a war on clutter.

[Anonymous]

Power of suggestion is strong for kids. If she's asking for different toys, I would tell her maybe for your birthday/Christmas. Let me know closer to your birthday/Christmas if you still want it.

This usually works for my kid. If it's something he really likes then he asks for it consistently (and closer to his b-day).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Power of suggestion is strong for kids. If she's asking for different toys, I would tell her maybe for your birthday/Christmas. Let me know closer to your birthday/Christmas if you still want it.

This usually works for my kid. If it's something he really likes then he asks for it consistently (and closer to his b-day).

I was going to add he usually forgets about the other things.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 3 and 8 and have not yet done this. We do not go shopping very often and hardly ever watch TV with commercials. When we go into a toy store, I specify whether it's for them or a friend.

[Anonymous]

My son is fixated on the toy store or any store that sells toys but his twin sister is somewhat indifferent and she will pick out the least expensive item whereas her brother will do the opposite. He is growing out of it a bit but it is still annoying. He seems to be the most focused on Legos and wants the ones with thousands of pieces which are costly. But, he will sit quietly for hours assembling the kits so that is a nice compromise.

[Anonymous]

My DD is five and accepts "no" when she asks for something (when we're at Target, for example... she rarely comes up with it on her own at home). If I tell her she could ask for it for her birthday or Christmas she gets excited.