A bit embarrassed to say I am jealous

[Anonymous]

I was the first one to marry into my husband's family. My husband was the first of his siblings to get married and I feel like I "broke in" his family. It was not an easy transition. Without going into too much unwanted detail, one of his sisters did not want me in the family and I always felt like his parents thought he could "do better."

This was all many years ago. The thing that gets me now is that my husband's sister is now getting married and everyone is overjoyed. I am happy too - I like the guy and am so happy he will be a part of our family. But it hurts me a little bit that he is getting such a wonderful welcome with open arms and complete Nd genuine joy while I got so much . . .less.

I know that I am being small and petty. I also realize that this does not qualify as a real problem in the big scheme of things. But I wanted to vent and see if anyone had any words of comfort or wisdom...

[Anonymous]

Feel happy that your hard work has benefited another wonderful, deserving person.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to be the guy who paved the road. Be proud so many can easily drive down it. You know? You got to see how you will treat your children's significant others.

[Anonymous]

Other side here. I'm the last and youngest DIL, with a charming MIL. My husband tells me his mother clashed with the first 2 DILs (married to his 2 brothers), so now she knows better than interfere with us!

I'm grateful for the work done by the other DILs. Also thankful that MIL is an intelligent and rational woman!

[Anonymous]

I feel that many families find it less stressful to welcome a Son-in-Law than a Daughter-in-Law. That may play a small part in what you're experiencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel that many families find it less stressful to welcome a Son-in-Law than a Daughter-in-Law. That may play a small part in what you're experiencing.

+1

My mother is much nicer to DH than she is to my SIL. About 100 times nicer.

[Anonymous]

I agree about the DIL vs Son-IL statement.

Also, you said it's been many years since you married...is your Sis-IL on the older side to get married? They may in part be relieved she "finally found someone" and glad for the possibility of more grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

You can not control your inlaws. They are who they are. Spend time with them when it is enjoyable, walk away when it is not. Concentrate on making your own family the best it can be. I look at the dysfunction in my and my husband's family tree and say this is not what I want for my own family. We can try and do better.

[Anonymous]

ITA with PPS, OP. For all you know, SILs and MIL are completely jealous of you. Some families don't want to welcome "different". If you think you notice it, I *guarantee* outsiders notice it!

My MIL disses me every chance she gets - digs left and right. When there is a party or event where I see her friends, they act surprised and act nothing but nice and welcoming, sort of in a wink, wink kind of way.

At first I didn't believe it, but all of them, over time, confirmed it. I'm supposed to look and act like "them". No thank you.

MIL is fooling NO ONE. She thinks everyone is as dumb as her, frankly. Since this is anon, I may as well tell it like it is.

Could you DHs family be jealous of you? It is NOT uncommon!