DS not interested in Prom, grad party etc.,anyone else have teen like that?

[Anonymous]

DS is graduating form HS this year. He has shown no interest to go to Prom or Grad party etc., he would rather hang out with friends and play video games or go to movies. Does anyone else have a kid like that?

[Anonymous]

I was in fact that way and did not attend my prom. Looking back, I wish my parents had encouraged (not forced, perhaps just light encouragement or suggestions) me to attend with a group of friends, either a single sex group or coed.

[Anonymous]

15:22 again. However, he could have a fun night too with a nice group of friends at the movies. You might give him a budget.

[Anonymous]

I didn't attend a prom or any graduation parties. I begged my mom not to throw one for me.

The reason for all that was: nobody ASKED me to prom and I had no friends to go with, and I had no friends at all. So nobody invited me to any graduation parties. I had one and a half friends at my own graduation party. My older sibling had more friends at it than I did. It was embarrassing as all hell.

Thank god when I graduated from college, she didn't insist on a party.

[Anonymous]

15:22 Why do you feel that your parents should have encouraged you to go? Do you regret not going?

My son does have friends but they are like him, they will not be going either. They too are not having graduation parties. I would like DS to go to the graduation party night ( all night) but he does not want to.

[Anonymous]

I was pretty similar, in that I wasn't feeling all that jazzed about all the different events. I wound up going to all the events at the encouragement of my family and friends and actually wound up having a pretty good time. All Night Grad in particular was basically a carnival and very fun.

If he has lots of friends that also don't want to go, would you consider hosting something at your house the night of prom as an alternative? Junior year, instead of going to Prom a bunch of us went to Kings Dominion, which could be another option. There were also a few years where for homecoming, I got dressed up, took pictures, and went out to dinner, but didn't go to the actual dance. So we have the fun fancy pictures and a fun meal, but without all the gross sweaty dancing. This might have been more fun for me as a girl than it would for your DS, because for me just the act of getting dressed up was pretty fun, but I threw it out as an option just in case

[Anonymous]

One of my kids is like that. My daughter, now a college sophomore, had absolutely no interest in prom, parties, etc.... It's just not her thing. She is brilliant. On a full academic scholarship. Very happy. But just has never been into the party scene. She has two really close friends. She hates crowds. She hates loud music. She is very introverted.

I learned a long time ago to let go of my preconceived notions of how she should act and just let her be who she is.

On the flip side, our other kids are very social. Almost to a fault.

My only advise would be that you allow your son to be who he is. Don't try to force him into what you believe a high school senior should be. Some kids just naturally march to a different beat and that's o.k.

[Anonymous]

You are right. He would'n want to do that. He realizes that the partying and Prom thing will make him uncomfortable and he will just not enjoy being there. I can't help feeling a little sad even though I am glad he is mature to not do things because everyone else is doing it.
Will encourage him to do something fun with his friends. He is a good kid and has made it to a good college after all.

[Anonymous]

for the previous pp

[Anonymous]

18:10 ur daughter sounds just like my ds. I agree I have to let go my preconceived notions about HS and just not feel the need to explain when people ask why my son does not want to have a graduation party/or go to prom.

I am just going to be happy about his preferences.
Thanks for the advise!

[Anonymous]

This was how I felt about my prom and graduation. I wasn't one of the popular kids so for me I was more excited to move on and get to college. I think it's pretty normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:10 ur daughter sounds just like my ds. I agree I have to let go my preconceived notions about HS and just not feel the need to explain when people ask why my son does not want to have a graduation party/or go to prom.

I am just going to be happy about his preferences.
Thanks for the advise!

Not an easy thing to do, I know. ((Hugs)). But he will be just fine!

[Anonymous]

I also asked not to have a graduation party, although I did go to prom and had fun. Kids have their own preferences. I didn't want a lot of attention focused on me. It wouldn't have been a life-changing regret if I didn't go to prom either.

[Anonymous]

can you have a family based grad party instead of a friend based grad party?

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also asked not to have a graduation party, although I did go to prom and had fun. Kids have their own preferences. I didn't want a lot of attention focused on me. It wouldn't have been a life-changing regret if I didn't go to prom either.

+1