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I've read this, heard this from various people, but don't understand why. My own son is diagnosed with a few things, ADHD, sensory issues, and by one psychiatrist as having ASD. But others have said he doesn't have ASD. I have finally come to the realization that perhaps he does have it. He is nine but has poor hygiene. He picks his nose, wipes it on any nearby surface. He used to pee in the tub while showering but when I told him that it was unfair to the next person who had to shower there, he eventually stopped. But not before he argued for days about how the water should have washed all the pee down the drain. He argues incessantly when we ask him to wash his hands before meals.
DH says I'm wrong and that DS has better hygiene than most boys. He defends him saying he washes his hands for a full 10 seconds whereas most boys will literally put their hands under the water for less than three seconds. DH says the nose picking is, unfortunately, typical of boys under the age of 7 but that DS is a couple years behind socially. DH doesn't defend the peeing in the shower though and insisted that DS stop that immediately. So who is right here? Is this typical behavior of boys generally or ASD children? Curious also, why do ASD children lack good hygiene? |
| LOL! I have a AS/ASD kid, 5, who has never been messy or dirty in his life. He will insist on changing his clothes if he gets anything on them. Washes his hands with soap singing the entire alphabet. Brushes his teeth for the entire 2 minutes. Never shown any inclination to pick his nose, ever. Uses a napkin after each bite if he is eating anything "messy". I didn't know kids with ASD lack good hygiene... |
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Well, I've lived in the Aspie world for 18 years and have never heard this one before. I suppose some Aspies are nerdish and don't brush their hair (think Einstein) because many are brilliant and focused on other issues than appearance. In my experience, they are living "lives of the mind" not of day-to-day mundane issues.
If anything, my perfectly "normal" smart kid has far worse hygiene issues than my brilliant Aspie . . but we are hoping for a turn-around in that dept. It helps if both parents are monitoring the hygiene track. Mommy alone nagging may not make son turn-around. And sometimes you just have to spell it out (normal or Aspie): "This kind of behavior is unacceptable; you will have a roommate one day, etc." |
| Really, OP? I have an ASD and a NT. NT is way dirtier than the ASD because he hates showers while my Aspie loves them. Both are dirtier than I'd like, though, because they are boys. They roll in dirt. For fun. |
| WTF, OP. I have an Aspie and an NT. Aspie is hygienic and NT .... not so much. |
| My ASD son has to have his hands washed twenty times a day. He is super clean, anything dirty on him will cause him to have a total meltdown. |
| ^^Just to add, my other three kids who are not ASD have to be ordered to take a bath and wash their hands. In fact I have to tell them to use soap. |
| 00:40 back. Funny, my Aspie loves showers,too. Does "NT" mean normal teenager? If so, it is my NT whom I have to work on to shower, use deodorant, etc. Hubby helps in that department. 1:17 is handwashing a tic? Sounds almost like OCD. |
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Does anyone have an Aspie who won't get out of the shower? Like Temple Grandin's "Squeeze box", I think my Aspie son finds comfort in the shower . . . .
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| OP, it sounds like your son is lazy about his hygiene. He doesn't want to get a tissue, so when he picks his nose, he just wipes it on whatever is nearby. He pees in the shower so he doesn't have to bother going to the toilet beforehand. He'd rather have dirty hands than go through the troubke of washing them. I know more NT kids like this than ASD. |
| I'll add my anecdotal observations to everyone else's. I see both sides of the spectrum- either close to a hyper focus on hygiene or a non-interest. SInce ASD children like routine, handwashing/showering frequently becomes routine. Since ASD children can have OCD traits, cleanliness and become one of them. Since ASD children can have sensory issues, having dirty hands that feel, "funny" may encourage more handwashing or standing in the shower because it feels good. On the other side, since ASD children do not pick up on social cues, they could be delayed in learning that they smell (starting around 4th grade) and caring that they smell - so they may have to be told to shower (this is where my ASD teenager is). He didn't start caring about his wardrobe until last year (15), but he still doesn't pick up on the fact that he stinks to high heaven sometimes. I know several students who have similar issues. Perhaps, it depends on the severity of the ASD, most of the teenagers I know at the mild end of the spectrum have the hygiene issues. I see their NT peers putting much time and effort into their looks that my son and some of his ASD peers do not. It may be related to the social delay that they also experience. |
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OP,
I have Temple Grandin in interviews has mentioned giving advice to adults with ASD/Asperbers to wash. Bill Gates (suspected not confirmed Aspie) also had horrible hygiene b/f Melinda helped straighten him out. Not sure why some kids want to be super clean vs. don't care--but I suspect sensory comes into play either way. |
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Many adults I know pee in the tub/shower. LOL. It never occurred to me that one "could" do this till I was in grad school and someone mentioned it. Then I started hearing all kinds of mention of people doing it. Has nothing to do with water.
Some kids on the spectrum don't like water much. My son with AS is not aware of his appearance and doesn't care what people think and doesn't love bathing. But he washes his hands a million times a day (more OCD related). The main issue with kids with AS is that some of them lack an awareness of the importance of their appearance and presentation (including odors) and this becomes an issue during adolescence. Some don't like to bathe as much. Not just ASD but also people with ADHD. And there is the rigidity and argumentation with social convention. And, hey, those that argue have a point. As a tired mom I've only just now figured out that I don't have to shower and wash my hair every day! |
Not to detract from this subject but, PP, I think you're wrong about this whole idea that Aspies generally tend to be brilliant ("many are brilliant") and also that Einstein was Aspie. Einstein had long, loving, fulfilling relationships with women as well as with male friends. His friends did not describe him as lacking in any social context. The core trait of ASD is a compromised ability in social communication and this is key for reciprocal relationships. Einstein did not have this problem. He may have been obsessed with his interest, but he was not lacking in any way in the social area. |
Where did you read or hear from that Bill Gates had horrible hygiene? I lived in Seattle and had many friends who worked at Microsoft, saw Bill Gates on a daily basis. This goes against what I've heard from them. I don't know why people want to believe that Bill Gates or geniuses like Einstein had ASD. They didn't or don't. |