Would like your opinion on 2 high school options for autism-spectrum boy

[Anonymous]

We're in DC, but don't want to fight the special ed system in DC public schools. He does OK in a 'regular' private school now, but struggles because of limited accommodations and somewhat getting lost in the crowd. Here is what I am thinking, and I'd like you to pick one, or propose an alternative:

Option 1. A small private school. He's been tested, and there is consensus among professionals that he doesn't need a school catering to ASD, just a small school. Pros: small. Cons: Expensive and possibly not sustainable by us over 4 years due to uncertain employment situation.

Option 2. Home schooling. I'm a semi-retired dad and can take the time. He is motivated and diligent in his studies. Cons: Less social interaction. Pros: Possibly more social interaction than a small school if I get linked up with the right home schooling communities in the area. Other pros, much lower cost and catering more to his interests.

Thank you for sharing your views.

[Anonymous]

I would do option #1. It will be better for your father/son relationship and better for your son's emotional development to be more integrated into the world at large. You can always switch to option #2 if you run out of money or if it doesn't work out for other reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do option #1. It will be better for your father/son relationship and better for your son's emotional development to be more integrated into the world at large. You can always switch to option #2 if you run out of money or if it doesn't work out for other reasons.

I agree with this. Do you research for the back up plan/home school option when he starts at a small private.

[Anonymous]

What does your child say about the choices? Would he miss the organization of a school atmosphere?

If you can do the home schooling (time wise, teaching wise), why not try it? It could be a great time for you together.

As for socialization, there is no shortage of organized activities and opportunities to be involved in. Not every teen life has to revolve around a high school.

Maybe he could eventually take some classes at a community college.

You know your kid, very cool that you are helping him find the right situation.

[Anonymous]

I homeschool my late elem child and there are many benefits as far as being able to go right to the child's level. However, you have to know your child. I have found the social front to be difficult to navigate. Many of the homeschooling activities are unstructured park dates, which don't work for my son. My son is reluctant to be thrown in to meet new kids, so he has been more isolated than I would like. And even if he was meeting a lot of new kids, it takes a child with weaker social skills longer to connect and make friends. And many homeschooled kids I find are kind of in their own groove and it's not as easy to break in as I had expected. This may be very much our own unique experience, so take what I say with a grain of salt. A lot depends on your child, his eagerness and ability to connect, etc. On our end we may return try school again purely to have him around kids. And I think my son misses being part of a school before we moved here so he is willing to try again (after a harsh and unsupportive school year after we moved to MoCo).

High school is definitely doable with homeschooling but it's probably somewhat challenging to teach at that level. Being self-directed and having strong interests helps.

Community college classes in late HS is def an option (and sometimes I think possibly better preparation for college than HS might be), and there are many classes for homeschoolers all over the area. It can involve a LOT of driving as classes are spread out (I'm talking all over Montgomery County, MD; Virginia; I see less posted about classes in DC, though there are some). We took too many last semester and the number of transitions, new faces, and vast location changes proved taxing for my son (mild AS) in a way I did not foresee. Plus classes are often 1 1/2 hrs long which is a long time to sit, but they need to be long because they are often once a week.

If your child already has friends to hang out with after school hours perhaps he will get enough social interaction (but kids are often busy doing their homework after school in high school, or activities).

Getting fitness in is also a challenge with homeschooling (do kids take PE in high school, I don't even know.)

I recommend you join some yahoo homeschooling chat groups to ask more questions: MHLN; BWHE are both good places to start and ask for groups specific to DC.

If your son can handle school I would suggest you stick with that, and if you can't afford it down the line or your son is unhappy, maybe try homeschooling. I do love many many things about homeschooling--for us it's mainly the social side that is tricky. Oh, and I do think there is something about forming relationships with different teachers and tapping into their excitement and expertise on specific subjects can be such a great experience. Of course, you can get some of that taking classes as well. And enjoying time together as a family will also be a special memory.

Have you looked at Commonwealth in VA? I've heard it's a school that focuses on supporting executive functions with a standard school curriculum. I don't know of other schools to recommend.

Whatever you do will be a worthwhile adventure--both options have strong merits. Sounds like you have a child who learns well and he has your support.

[Anonymous]

You can also try joining MDhomeschoolingSpecialNeeds on yahoo and ask for ideas.

[Anonymous]

Here's one more yahoo group for homeschooling: MD_DC_VA_Educators

[Anonymous]

I'm strongly in favor of keeping kids with ASD in school, in order to encourage their social development. It would be easy to homeschool my son, because he works hard, but I really think he needs to be in school to work on social stuff. So... I'd do #1 and keep homeschool as an back-up option if #1 doesn't work out for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're in DC, but don't want to fight the special ed system in DC public schools. He does OK in a 'regular' private school now, but struggles because of limited accommodations and somewhat getting lost in the crowd. Here is what I am thinking, and I'd like you to pick one, or propose an alternative:

Option 1. A small private school. He's been tested, and there is consensus among professionals that he doesn't need a school catering to ASD, just a small school. Pros: small. Cons: Expensive and possibly not sustainable by us over 4 years due to uncertain employment situation.

Option 2. Home schooling. I'm a semi-retired dad and can take the time. He is motivated and diligent in his studies. Cons: Less social interaction. Pros: Possibly more social interaction than a small school if I get linked up with the right home schooling communities in the area. Other pros, much lower cost and catering more to his interests.

Thank you for sharing your views.

I would avoid homeschooling and ASD child because they need social interaction to move forward and beyond. The isolation of homeschooling works against this. I have an ASD child and he has attended a weekly social skills group for 5 years. One of the things they teach us is that for children who are on the spectrum, the more social outlets a chld has the better the results. Band, orchestra, chorus, scouts, faith group...... all help but that school offers the daily social interaction.

[Anonymous]

I am the homeschooling PP. I agree with above except in circumstances when the child is experiencing so much stress at school and negative/counterproductive social experiences that it is doing more harm than good to be in school. There are ways to find social experiences for kids who are homeschooled--it's just easier in some situations than others. Learning can happen better when stress levels aren't super high. OPs child sounds like he is doing pretty well overall in the school environment. That's why I encouraged finding school options. Summer is coming OP. YOu can always test out homeschooling for a month this summer, even just half time, so that if you don't find a good school match down the line you have your sea legs.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want a specific ASD school, check out GW Community School - it is very small, relatively less expensive than most privates, and might be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Like most of the above posters, I agree that absent very unusual circumstances the small private school option is best if you can swing it. Also, if your employment situation changes you may be able to apply for some financial aid from an independent school or one of the Catholic schools. The key is to find a nuturing small environment -- not where the teachers will look our for him and at a school where there will be some other kids with certain challenges (hopefullly most not on the spectrum) so that DS doesn't feel he is the only one who has to work a bit harder at something. In the right school he will be less likely to be bullied and may be more likely to find tolerant , understanding peers. OP didn't say how well DS does academically aside from the social issues. If this is going to mean you have to eat dog food for the next 20 years in retirement, then home schooling may be your only real optoin, but if you swing a small private with a tad of belt tightening, give that a shot.

[Anonymous]

Another idea is to move to MoCo and see if you can get your son into the Aspergers Syndrome Program at Walter Johnson. Or better yet, move to the WJ catchment area and then he will be most likely placed in classes with a support worker assisting the kids who need it (piggy backing on the AS program without necessarily being part of the program. The AS program has support workers or special ed teachers in academic classes). But this won't be small and I don't know if it would be nurturing. No experience there. Just have heard it's a decent program in a good school. If it would mean moving away from friends, maybe it's not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

There is the NORA school in Silver Spring (downtown SS) but it is for kids with some challenges or unique learners. Seems like it would be small and nurturing.

[Anonymous]

Glad to see 10:09 mention Commonwealth Academy. We're there now. Very small. Made a huge difference for my daughter, just the switch from public school to the small environment of C.A. 10:09s comments about homeschooling were also very thoughtful. Personally, I don't have the patience for what it required.