constructive "feedback" on my speaking style at work

[Anonymous]

Just got the feedback that I said "honestly" a number of times in a project team meeting I was leading. I had no idea I did that.

I will work on this, but this from a manager who uses the phrase "her and I" all the time, and has mismatched verb agreements when speaking. As in, "Is there data points we can look at on this?" "is there people we can talk to?"

That is all.

[Anonymous]

Only one comment that I hope is constructive. I think the phenomenon of people regularly using incorrect grammar is horrible but is a tide we can't fight. As to your use of Honestly, my thought is that generally you should avoid using any word over and over in a short span of time. With the word Honestly, it is a legitimate criticism to say that using that word makes it seem like you are not always honest. I know that isn't true but it is like using the word "clearly" because you need to stress how clear something is when it really isn't. That was an early lesson in law school writing class--avoid clearly or obviously when trying to explain something unless it is actually clear or obvious. Using that word is either patronizing or a verbal tell that you are trying to oversimplify something complicated. Anyway, another view is that your work is generally so good that your boss was picking lint.

[Anonymous]

Umm...that really sucks but ummm.....it is great that you are ummm...going to work on it.

[Anonymous]

Don't take it personally and look for some reason to ignore it. Take it in, and then be aware of your use of this word going forward. It is difficult to take criticism and it can feel humiliating.

[Anonymous]

Also a lawyer here. Was trained to use the words "honestly," "clearly," and "obviously" only on the rarest of occasions.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I will take the feedback into account and try to keep it in check from now on, but it is doubly annoying coming from someone who makes such glaring speaking errors all the time.

Also it is coming at a time when we are (as acknowledged by my VP in a staff meeting today) very swamped with work all the time (nights and weekends, working on vacation earlier this week, etc.) so it is just not what I need right now to motivate!

[Anonymous]

Ummmmmmmmm LOL it isn't about them, it is about you. You say it too much. Stop saying it Aren't you glad someone pointed it out.

[Anonymous]

Ummmmmmm, "honestly" they can go fuck themselves if that's what they want to comment on about my recent performance.

[Anonymous]

In a former nightmare job I was written up for having too many "typographic" errors in my work. And yes, that should be typographical.

[Anonymous]

I have a boss who nitpicks the entire staff about the most ridiculous things. Said boss is very prone to her own minor mistakes in oral and written communications. Most of the staff simply laugh it off privately, though her delivery of the "feedback" is a problem itself...and does nothing to motivate staff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I will take the feedback into account and try to keep it in check from now on, but it is doubly annoying coming from someone who makes such glaring speaking errors all the time.

Also it is coming at a time when we are (as acknowledged by my VP in a staff meeting today) very swamped with work all the time (nights and weekends, working on vacation earlier this week, etc.) so it is just not what I need right now to motivate!

I'm stilled scarred from my constructive "feedback" at my last job. In my exit interview I took the position that perhaps management was not trained in the art of how to give constructive feedback in a way that would motivate rather than demotivate an employee. I really think that it is a skill to be able to deliver feedback in such a way that the person feels like they are doing a good job and is motivated to do even better.

Anyway, I will say that even the most incompetent boss can still have a nugget of truth in your review whether you want to own it or not. It's not a good trait to immediately point to the fact that so and so also does it (which you can't control) instead of working on the fact that you do it. As hard as it may be, don't let the feedback make you so self-conscious or so anxious that you are not a motivated, confident, happy worker. It's far worse to lose that motivation, that confidence, that pleasantness than to say "honestly" in your presentations. It's just polish to bring out what you already have, not the end of the world. As crazy as people were at my last place, at least to myself, I own my mistakes in how I dealt with things. This time around I like to think I picked a better organization and I've gotten better at standing up for myself.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a bull shit protect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a bull shit protect

Project

[Anonymous]

If he told you, you are saying it way to frequently. It happens.

I noticed I had stock work phrases I was over repeating and have made an effort to self monitor.

[Anonymous]

I used to work for a boss who said, " You know what I mean?" After almost every sentence. If a superior had pointed it out to him, he would have been doing him a huge favor.

The feedback may not have been delivered in the best way, but it ight help in the long run.