Partner unemployed 8 months - how to manage resentment

[Anonymous]

My husband was laid off 8 months ago. I do not know what he's done to try and regain employment other than put together a resume two weeks ago and give it to a recruiter last week. I dont knkw what he does during the day and am not allowed to ask because he feels disrespected and it leads ro fights. I am feeling mistrust and rising resentment. Any thoughts on how to manage these negative feelings? What is fair of me to expect of him? We live in Silicon Valley and he is in IT so I am surprised it's taken this long. To be honest I think he procrastinates bit since I dont know what he does all day, I could be wrong. He does daycare dropoff and pickup though.

[Anonymous]

isn't the valley notorious for age discrimination?

perhaps its time to move to a new gig. are you ex-dc (or have you posted this on BPN and other urbanmommy sites?)

Do you have a highpower/highincome job? Perhaps he feels emasculated and you should maybe look to start off by planning activities where he can feel useful and man-ly again. and then build from there.

[Anonymous]

I work FT and so does DH. I always helped him find a job...you could be helpful OP. Look at job sites, contacts at different companies, maybe help him come up with a target list and make sure he's got a good LinkedIn profile. I'm a retained executive recruiter and we source candidates right off of LinkedIn. In addition to a profile, make sure he joins all applicable LinkedIn groups (go to "groups directory" on LinkedIn to find the list).

Good luck -- it's never fun looking for a job. I don't do tech searches, but you could google recruiters who do...don't sit around and fret...try to help.