Flapping in a 5yo - any suggestions on how to stop?

[Anonymous]

My DS is 5 and flaps his hands/arms when he is excited. This first started when he was 9 months old and ultimately led us to evaluation by Kennedy Kreiger and the Montgomery County early intervention services. He has had other "red flags" - speech delay, shyness, low tone that led to a PDD-NOS diagnosis, although the people at KK said this was a "soft call" and recommended more testing when he turned 5. After 3 years of OT, speech he "graduated" this spring and is in a "regular" kindergarten. His speech, vocabulary are now terrific - he does well on testing, etc. The social stuff, while continues to need attention, is so much better. The problem is his flapping continues. For my husband and me, this was the initial concern that led us down the road to evaluation/intervention; however, each person we have seen reassures us this behavior is not concerning - especially because he can immediately stop it with the most minimal of prompts. No one has ever given us any definitive things to help with the flapping - it's great to know it is not a concern about any other underlying thing, but I'd rather he not do it - if possible. I actually just made the appointment with a local developmental pediatrician (1st available in Jan) for further guidance on support/therapy/etc we can give him. But, today one of my overprotective fears was realized - girls on the playground after school were calling him "Mr. McFlappy". If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this, I'd be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Wow---great Early Intervention success story. Your son is lucky to have such in-tune and supportive parents.

I worked as a behavior therapist a few years ago and found it very useful to observe and document these types of behaviors (across home-school setting) to see what is preceding the behavior. Perhaps your son is presenting with an increase of flapping while at recess outside, but not inside his classroom, etc. Using this data you can tweak out what circumstances elicit the flapping and try to prevent them as best possible.

For example, let's say you and his teacher track the flapping and find that it occurs:
-during free center time
-recess outside, especially when children approach him
-after a bath
Then, try to establish the function of the flapping. In my experience it is usually an orientating technique (the child feels sort of lost in time in space/too open, etc) and needs sensory stimulation.
-Then teach a more socially acceptable means for your DS to feel comfortable, like holding one index finger with his other hand, or taking three deep breaths, or finding a friend/teacher to talk to. I also found that massage is very helpful in making kids feel more "grounded."

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Somewhat ironically, our son, now 5, also started periodic hand-flapping AFTER we'd seen a developmental pediatrician soon after he turned 4. It was of short duration when it happened but it was disconcerting. He hasn't done it for a while. His shyness and non-participation in preschool were what led us to a developmental pediatrician in the first place.

[Anonymous]

It's funny... As a kid my DH used to do what we affectionately call "football fingers"... whenever he was nervous or excited he would bring his fingers together and very rapidly tap them together. It's hard to describe but it was hard to miss when he was doing it. Over the years he learned to control it although I do catch him doing it sometimes when he watches football or politics . His family (affectionately) teases him about it. He had/has no developmental issues or delays or "quirks" but I'm sure if he were growing up today he would have been referred to a developmental pediatrician!

[Anonymous]

I THINK I know you, OP, but some say the flapping gets better as they feel more comfortable 'in their own skin'--as they get older.