What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

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03/16/2025 08:26

Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brainy kids who seek a plurality of peers can look well outside a college. Just like these kids did in high school- the truly exceptional ones. My one student is the typical smart kid, math competitions and CTY in elementary- some "fun" enrichment outside of his school. Online groups for fancy origami, chess with adults in the community center in high school. These things are all available outside of college as well. That kid may not have done well in rural Minnesota, but Pitt? Sure. Stevens? Absolutely. And he is not the brainy one.
My brainy one- graduated from an IVY. Also looked beyond the scope of in-school peers/clubs/groups for things that interested her: theater. Had applied to a small LAC as a safety knowing she would find or create what she is looking for. And where she started and where she ended in terms of interest/career was all guided by works she did outside of school and after time abroad, not because of anything gained by being in a pool of "brainy" kids.
There are smart kids at most schools- many of them. My bet is that most kids are not quite as genius level as parents believe them to be...many of us make that assumption. Of course some schools are better fits than others. But a less rejective school doesn't mean that there will not be intellectual engagement.

Yes, brainy kids can do this. My DC may well have to, and I imagine it will foster creativity and resilience. However, if one can't expect for an intellectual enviroment of peers AT A UNIVERSITY, that's a bummer.

I'm not just talking smart here -- lots of smart kids (and adults) are not intellectual. Their lives are no less rich and valuable.

I work in universities, and have worked at a T20 and a top 40 SLAC. There was much less intellectual engagement at the T40 SLAC. Doesn't mean there wasn't ANY intellectual engagement, but it would have been sub-optimal for my kid.

Much in life is sub-optimal, and making the best of things is an important skill. But being in an environment that allows one's best self to flourish is what we want for our kids, no? I don't think my kid needs a T10 to thrive, but I do think that being at a non-selective school wouldn't be as exciting or fun for her. Anything in the T40 range would probably be a good target -- but lots of T20-40 schools yield protect.

Not sure how I feel about this. My kid is similar high stats and brainy. I was too and going to a T5 college was life changing for me - the first time I could be around peers who thought like me. I would like this for my DC, who will be applying next year.

But later on I lived in a group house with several people who had met at an honors college at a state school. They were just as intellectual as what I found at the T5. Their parents were not wealthy enough to send them to T5 schools so they never even bothered to apply. And in adult life I’ve found the same as well. There are plenty of quite intelligent people who didn’t go to fancy schools.

But that was a different era when where you applied to college wasn’t so obsessively considered, and elite colleges weren’t as accessible by middle class and below income families. I can see that now maybe it’s not as random where people end up. So I’m thoughtful about the PP mentioning it’s not as intellectual an environment at a T40 as at a T20. I’d imagine that the size of school matters too - maybe at a big state school there’s still more likelihood of finding one’s intellectual tribe rather than at a similarly ranked SLAC?