What is up with people who DO NOT RSVP
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Anonymous
| Also keep in mind some might come for the service but not stay for a meal. |
Anonymous
| During COVID, it's very customary to ask for an RSVP. It's to keep track of numbers and packaging, number of chairs and tables to rent to keep things distant, perhaps ordering individual packaging for food -- if it's a funeral with a wake and a church, no, but a private party at someone's home? Absolutely an RSVP. |
Anonymous
| ^ yes. People don't think about this, but so true |
Anonymous
| I'm so sorry for your loss. No RSVP is a no. |
Anonymous
| We deserve to be shot. |
Anonymous
|
Especially for older folks, you need to call them. There are many who were brought up that those whose attendance was "mandatory", e.g. close family or seriously close friends, e.g. those people who were going to come no matter what, were assumed to be RSVP yes and they would let you know if they were not attending. You should call and confirm, but expect some will answer with "Well, you knew I was coming, so why did I have to RSVP?" So, those very people that you are inquiring about are probably of the mindset that you knew they would not miss this and if for some reason, they were going to miss it, it was their obligation to let you know they were not coming, rather than the other way around.
When I was younger, the point of RSVP's was to save the host time and effort by having a set of "known" responses. So those who you knew would attend would only bother you if they were not able to make it. |
Anonymous
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as long as they said something in the first place!
-np |
Anonymous
Um, what? |
Anonymous
|
If you can’t imagine that these people would not come, then include them in your headcount. Older, grieving people might have trouble navigating or remembering your paperless invite, particularly if there wasn’t a specific date by which they had to respond. As others have said, I’ve never had to RSVP for a funeral or a memorial service, and most more formal occasions that I’ve attended had paper invitations and response cards. Call them if you really need a definite response by a particular deadline. Personally, though, I’d just count them in.
I’m sorry for your loss — and for theirs. |
Anonymous
| I think they are unaware this is catered. I've never been invited to a funeral/ celebration of life with a head count, and I’ve been to many over the years. |
Anonymous
|
I hosted about 5 funerals with food after. It was an "open" invitation and I had it catered for a presumed amount. I never asked for an RSVP.
Was it clear why you needdd the response on the invite- that it was a head count for catering purposes, because if not, for a service like this, even I would assume it's a notification largely and the RSVP to be tangential/ optional- kind of like a vague courtesy. |
Anonymous
| I think most people would think a focus on food is not putting the emphasis on the right place. I mean I get it Op. If you're going to have people come together, it may as well be as nice as it can be. And nice helps people socialize and comfort each other. But it would be the ultimate of tacky if someone complained at a memorial service that there wasn't enough food. |
Anonymous
But don't you have coping mechanisms that help ? |