WFHMs…how are you working with your baby?

[Anonymous]

Definitely do not try to work from home with no childcare. Even if your spouse also works from home. It will not work. Recipe for absolute crap mental health.

[Anonymous]

You're going to need childcare. My workplace waived this during COVID, but part of my telework contract specifically was that I.wpuld NOT be providing childcare or elder care during work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry that you are in this position. I can’t imagine leaving my baby in childcare at 6 weeks though I know plenty of people do it. That really sucks.

I do think that you might be able to manage it for another 5 or 6 weeks through babywearing and tag teaming with DH, but I agree with everyone else that around 12 weeks (max - could be sooner with some babies) you will definitely need and want childcare - for baby and for you. You might be able to manage a nanny share or something that’s more part time. There are tons available right now as kids are graduating to prek or daycare.

+1 on this post. It's a crappy position to be in with a 6 week old. Even if you weren't WFH, it would be hard to focus with a baby that young, given lack of sleep, still stabilizing nursing (at least with my first) etc. Everyone here needs to have a bit more empathy.

I think babywearing and phoning it in at work for the first 6 weeks back is the best idea here; more if you can flex hours and aren t run ragged, but your sanity matters too. After that, yes, you will need paid care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry that you are in this position. I can’t imagine leaving my baby in childcare at 6 weeks though I know plenty of people do it. That really sucks.

I do think that you might be able to manage it for another 5 or 6 weeks through babywearing and tag teaming with DH, but I agree with everyone else that around 12 weeks (max - could be sooner with some babies) you will definitely need and want childcare - for baby and for you. You might be able to manage a nanny share or something that’s more part time. There are tons available right now as kids are graduating to prek or daycare.

+1 on this post. It's a crappy position to be in with a 6 week old. Even if you weren't WFH, it would be hard to focus with a baby that young, given lack of sleep, still stabilizing nursing (at least with my first) etc. Everyone here needs to have a bit more empathy.

I think babywearing and phoning it in at work for the first 6 weeks back is the best idea here; more if you can flex hours and aren t run ragged, but your sanity matters too. After that, yes, you will need paid care.

+1 to this +1. I disagree with the sentiment on this board that you *absolutely* won't be able to do this -- you can make it work, especially because it sounds like you and your partner have flexibility in terms of work hours/responsibilities, but it probably won't be easy. The reality is that this will be super dependent on how your kiddo is with naps, and that's not something you know yet. Maybe the universe will bless you with one of those babies who naps well and like clockwork, in which case you actually probably can figure out a pretty reliable/doable schedule for when you and your partner on on baby duty, able to schedule calls, etc. But maybe your kid will be like mine and sometimes nap for 30 minutes and sometimes nap for three hours, in which case scheduling becomes a much bigger challenge. As others have alluded to, this will also depend on how flexible your company/colleagues actually are and how dependent your job is on things like calls and meetings as opposed to just emails, editing/writing, etc. My company is still very understanding of childcare issues, so long as you're meeting deadlines and otherwise taking care of business, but I am also very in charge of my own schedule and quite honestly did a few calls as humanly possible while my kiddo was home full-time.

It's a tough spot to be in and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this so early. If you are able to get even some child care help (a few hours a day or a couple days a week, etc.) that will make a huge difference in your productivity and honestly mental health, but if not you'll figure it out! Not the most fun you'll ever have but it's not all doom and gloom. Good luck, you've got this!

[Anonymous]

A sling is your friend. But .... so is a nanny.

[Anonymous]

The answer is…I work at night. That’s how that’s going. My employer is flexible and I’m pregnant so I don’t want a stranger in the house. We split with my husband but it’s a nightmare and it doesn’t work (we have a 3.5 year old). So I work from home at night after he goes to bed and like an hour during the day or so when husband watches him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most parents do one of the following if they have a full time job:

1. Hire a nanny
2. Send the baby to a group child care setting
3. Rely on a grandparent/ other family member to care for their child
4. Have one parent stay at home (without a job) to care for the child

Had to add the obvious…

[Anonymous]

I have 2 children. With both, I only had 6 weeks of maternity leave. I found a daycare close to where I work so at lunch I could BF until they were 3 months old.
You need childcare. Find a part time sitter to come in during the core hours.

[Anonymous]

I had only six weeks maternity leave and have always worked from home. It works only because I have a wonderful and engaged nanny. She took him outside for fresh air and stimulation for at least three hours a day, read to him, talked to him and played with him all day. I was there for breastfeeding and cuddles while nanny did all child related chores including making him fresh baby food every day. She also got him on a great sleep pattern with no crying ever that had him STTN at three months.

Both baby and I excelled.

[Anonymous]

I did this last year. It was fine at first because baby napped so much but as she got older and napped less it got stressful. Eventually my MIL came to help me during the day while I worked. I’ll be going back to working in the office soon so my daughter will be starting daycare.

It will only get harder and more stressful as your baby gets older. I’d suggest hiring sometime to help you while you work from home.

[Anonymous]

PP, hiring someone*

[Anonymous]

It can be very hard on your marriage. You will both be stressed and stretched. I would get on daycare waitlists now. At about 1 year old your baby will cry if he sees you on and off all day. Also start the nanny search now. Full time nannies are easier to find than part time.

Frankly you should negotiate for unpaid leave until you feel comfortable enough to use daycare

[Anonymous]

I was on maternity leave for 6 mo, worked two weeks without hell then hired a nanny , you need help you cannot focus on both at the same time

[Anonymous]

During the pandemic, we had to tag team coming back from leave with my 5 month old. They are sleeping so much at that point that it wasn’t the worst but got more difficult as time passed. My baby wouldn’t nap in her crib for a while so I had a wireless mini keyboard to be able to work while she’s eating or sleeping on us. Agreed that if you can get a nanny, you should though.

[Anonymous]

Any tips on finding a nanny? We've been calling and emailing only to get told they already found someone within hours.