Teen wants to cook, but...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cook with her and help her clean.

The cook is not supposed to clean.

Uh no. You’re not getting what’s happening. In reality adult cooks clean up as they go so there aren’t dirty cutting boards and counter spills all over the kitchen. This saying applies to AFTER meal clean-up. This means the cook doesn’t clean up the plates and store leftovers. Everyone cleans up as they go and yes, it’s a learned skill. That means the teens need to practice and actually learn how to cook.

Nope. Cooks don’t need to clean. Everybody that consumes cleans. It’s not a secret the cook is cooking, swing in early and do some so it’s not a lot at the end.

Ha! In that case I never ever want to eat what the cook is making. And it sounds like OP doesn’t either…

You sound like a super selfish controlling family member.

Our family is a team. So yea, we eat what the cook is making asnd we clean up. You are acting like a toddler eating your own food.

Families are teams but team members shouldn’t expect others to clean up their pet projects.

Making food for others is not a pet project.

It is actually. If your muffins mean I have to clean a gross kitchen, that’s not worth it to me. I also don’t want to clean up eggs on the counters after your omelettes. I would rather eat a sandwich—OR cook food for the family myself. That’s the truth.

While I would absolutely expect to spend lots of extra time cleaning up after a toddler’s or elementary schoolers’ baking projects, I wouldn’t be willing to do this for a teenager. This perceptiveness is a life skill and it’s important to understand that just because you offer your family a slice of the quiche you made, doesn’t mean you get to leave a gross mess in the kitchen for them to clean up.

Your child’s future college roommates and coworkers will thank you.

[Anonymous]

My DD makes stuff for JUST herself all the time and leaves a huge mess -

whoever started posting "cook doesn't clean" is an asswipe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach her tools to clean as you go. It’s - in my opinion - the only way to cook, and you’d be giving her an important skill she’ll value when it’s her kitchen.

I'm in my 40's and this sounds like invaluable advice to me -- I wish my mom had taught me this.

Can you give some suggestions of this, PP?

[Anonymous]

Show your DD that scene from Ratatouille where Colette pulls out the knife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD makes stuff for JUST herself all the time and leaves a huge mess -

whoever started posting "cook doesn't clean" is an asswipe.

Yes this has never been a rule in my house—cook doesn’t clean means things won’t ever get clean. Who leaves their stuff around for someone else to do it? I often cook dinner because I’m good at it, my Dh will do dishes if he has time, but if he hasn’t seen the kids all day, he might be the one who takes them out or takes the dog for a walk with them. Should I sit on my butt and wait for him to come home and clean because that’s the rule? What if we both cook separate lunches? Are we cleaning up after each other. Cook doesn’t clean is a really silly rule.

[Anonymous]

Have her watch shows like Masterchef or Chopped and the like. There are frequent comments about Chefs who are not cleaning up after themselves and how that is a problem. Normally there is an explanation for why this is a problem, cross food contamination and safety issues. Make it clear that Chefs are suppose to keep their workstations clean as they go. I have seen contestants sent home because of their lack of cleanliness when cooking.

Clean up after the meal has been made should be completed by other people, that can include the last dishes used during the process and a last wipe down of the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

My child is like this. She has ADHD and right now (age 12) seems incapable of cleaning as she goes. I have tried to teach her for years and she cries and feels so bad but the next time it’s exactly the same thing. So I just limit it to once a month and prepare myself for the crying when I’m making her clean it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD makes stuff for JUST herself all the time and leaves a huge mess -

whoever started posting "cook doesn't clean" is an asswipe.

Yes this has never been a rule in my house—cook doesn’t clean means things won’t ever get clean. Who leaves their stuff around for someone else to do it? I often cook dinner because I’m good at it, my Dh will do dishes if he has time, but if he hasn’t seen the kids all day, he might be the one who takes them out or takes the dog for a walk with them. Should I sit on my butt and wait for him to come home and clean because that’s the rule? What if we both cook separate lunches? Are we cleaning up after each other. Cook doesn’t clean is a really silly rule.

Agree. That was the rule in my house growing and I tried to implement it with my husband and kids and it was awful. I realized it worked with my house as a kid only because my dad insisted on cleaning. Things got soooo much better when I took responsibility for both cooking and cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach her tools to clean as you go. It’s - in my opinion - the only way to cook, and you’d be giving her an important skill she’ll value when it’s her kitchen.

I'm in my 40's and this sounds like invaluable advice to me -- I wish my mom had taught me this.

Can you give some suggestions of this, PP?

I was not taught this at all, but things I learned are putting things away before moving on to the next step (I take out the dry ingredients and put them away before I move on), wiping the counters after every step, and putting dishes in the sink right away. So basically divide things into steps and keep the countertop as empty as possible.

Some people put baling utensils and dishes in the dishwasher right away, others fill the sink with some fresh soapy water and stick dishes in that as they’re done with them. I just load the dishwasher snd run it when I’m done.

I’d love to hear tips other people have! I’m still not great at it.

[Anonymous]

Teach modified Mise en place. Nothing fancy but discuss how that works in a home. Basically it would mean:

1. Do you have all the ingredients, including spices?
2. Do you have the necessary equipment? Food processor or mixer? Pan?
3. Are you ready to cook? Have time, recipe if using? Kitchen equipment ready? (Oven preheated) Dining area ready? Beverages ready? If you are around, set the table, do the beverages. When you are cooking some days have her do the same.

This is needed because everyone starting out forgets about things like, I am baking in the oven, but the recipe says I need to finish x in the oven too. The point being learning to plan for the thing everyone encounters in the kitchen - timing issues.

Discuss how recipes really focus on 1 dish, but meals typically have several components so you need to plan those too. This is an area that gets every new cook. Planning gets you through it, and experience helps greatly.

Don’t focus only on “fancy” meals. Nice dinners are fun, but let her get started on some basics. These will be things she will be making for herself when she is out of the house. Can she grill? Has she baked a fish? Made a family soup recipe that is a favorite? Baked a cake?

Breakfast is a good opportunity to working up a quick meal with multiple components, and mistakes are cheap and easy to redo. Overdone eggs? Right to the trash. Keep an eye on the hash browns. Made to order pancakes? Try them against keeping warm in the oven. Let’s have bacon? Cost v benefit analysis in work and clean up.

The point is to encourage and not to discourage. But gaining experience is important. Make sure the dishwasher is unloaded when she cooks. Talk a lot about clean as you go.

[Anonymous]

I detest cooking, so I would have no problem offering to clean up if my kid was cooking for the family. But would have a problem with the damage. Maybe assist during a few recipes and offer tips on what to do and not to do. This can include some basic clean up as you go, or at least start soaking the pots and pans before you eat.

Btw. My BIL is a trained chef and they definitely have the rule the cook does not clean. His kitchen is a disaster after he is done. So you just need to decide if this works in your house or if you want to cook to also clean.

[Anonymous]

No wonder most H don’t cook … these responses are a horror show for family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cook with her and help her clean.

The cook is not supposed to clean.

Uh no. You’re not getting what’s happening. In reality adult cooks clean up as they go so there aren’t dirty cutting boards and counter spills all over the kitchen. This saying applies to AFTER meal clean-up. This means the cook doesn’t clean up the plates and store leftovers. Everyone cleans up as they go and yes, it’s a learned skill. That means the teens need to practice and actually learn how to cook.

Nope. Cooks don’t need to clean. Everybody that consumes cleans. It’s not a secret the cook is cooking, swing in early and do some so it’s not a lot at the end.

Ha! In that case I never ever want to eat what the cook is making. And it sounds like OP doesn’t either…

You sound like a super selfish controlling family member.

Our family is a team. So yea, we eat what the cook is making asnd we clean up. You are acting like a toddler eating your own food.

Families are teams but team members shouldn’t expect others to clean up their pet projects.

Making food for others is not a pet project.

It is actually. If your muffins mean I have to clean a gross kitchen, that’s not worth it to me. I also don’t want to clean up eggs on the counters after your omelettes. I would rather eat a sandwich—OR cook food for the family myself. That’s the truth.

While I would absolutely expect to spend lots of extra time cleaning up after a toddler’s or elementary schoolers’ baking projects, I wouldn’t be willing to do this for a teenager. This perceptiveness is a life skill and it’s important to understand that just because you offer your family a slice of the quiche you made, doesn’t mean you get to leave a gross mess in the kitchen for them to clean up.

Your child’s future college roommates and coworkers will thank you.

+1000

Cooking can indeed be a pet project! Loading the dishwasher and wiping down the counters is one thing (no problem) but no WAY do I want to clean up a kitchen explosion that anyone over the age of 10 has made. Not happening. Cooking can make an absolutely enormous mess, in a big hurry. I had to teach my own DH to clean as he goes when we first got married. Yes, I appreciate that you made pasta- yay happy to do the dishes- but I’m not cleaning up 5 unnecessary pans, stuff spilled on the counter and not wiped up, splatter, etc etc etc. That is the cook’s job (and I clean as I go, when I cook- it isn’t hard)