Summer camp question - wearing pull-ups at nighttime?

[Anonymous]

I had a late bedwettter due in part to severe urinary reflux and several ureter surgeries as a kid. She wanted to go to sleep-away camp starting at age 8 (she is the youngest of 3 kids).
We sent her and there was no issues whatsoever with pull-ups. She took them off discretely in the bathroom. At that point (age 8) she was not always wet at night (maybe 1 out of every 3).
She had a fabulous time at camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 is too young for overnight. You need to night train him. Counselors shouldn't have to deal with that.

This. A kid who is not out of diapers at age 7 is not ready for sleepaway. One thing at a time. You need to make this summer about fixing this before September.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former camp counselor here. This is really not a big deal, you just need to be upfront with the camp about it. I promise you, this is more common of an issue with kids than you could imagine.

Neither of my LO's were in diapers once they trained in the daytime, but I can tell you a TON of kids at each of the two camps I worked at were still wearing pull ups at night. Most were discreet and would simply change immediately before going to bed, and leave the pull up in the bottom of their sleeping bag the following morning. Some took full ownership, and didn't mind if the entire cabin knew about their pull ups. It all depends on your child.

Just let your camp know well ahead of time, so they can accommodate your DS as needed. But let him go to camp, for goodness sakes, if he genuinely wants to.

OP here. Thanks for the input everyone!

This is actually regarding my nephew, not my own child. We do have full custody of him currently. He'll actually be 8 by the time this camp session is set to begin. It's something he's been asking about for months now, but we were told (incorrectly) that said camp would be canceled for 2021 because of covid concerns. That appears to not be the case.

It sounds like your nephew needs stability not sleepaway camp. You will help him far more by not sending him away and making him feel secure enough to mature past this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD was a bedwetter until she was 11 and we sent her to overnight camp starting at 9. I packed extra sheets and would have a discreet conversation with her counselor and it was fine. She never said anything about anyone noticing or making fun of her. They did have to wash her linens a couple of times (over the years, not a couple of times per camp) and it was NBD.

You have no idea if it was a big deal or not. My mother was also the kind of mother who’d set me up
For failure, and no way would I have told her about kids making fun of me for something like this.

I do, actually, because my daughter is very much an open book with me and would've told me in a heartbeat. I'm sorry you felt that way about your mother but that doesn't mean I have the same relationship with my daughter.

Sure, keep telling yourself that.

Love all the parents packing off their overnight wetters so they can get a break for the summer.

5 nights of overnight camp was really a break for "the summer." 🤣 I'm sorry you have nothing better to do than be nasty on this post. Wishing you sunshine and rainbows and a whole new attitude.

[Anonymous]

OP here, very sorry for not replying to everyone earlier! Had a busy (but fun!) day

Anonymous wrote:OP, I just wanted to say that you sound like a lovely person. Don't let the bitter weirdos here get you down.

Thank you! And no worries I just appreciate everyone's thoughts. I somewhat jumped into being a 'parent' on short notice, so still trying to get a grasp of the ins and outs of raising a kid his age. Nephew has been through a really rough patch, and things are just now starting to calm down into somewhat of a rhythm where'd I'd feel comfortable with considering something like this for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Sure, keep telling yourself that.

Love all the parents packing off their overnight wetters so they can get a break for the summer.

I don't particularly need or want a 'break' from him at all. This is specifically something he has asked about doing, many many times, over the past year. It had been planned in the past, but was twice delayed/canceled, because of the pandemic. He's excited for this like you wouldn't believe.

As far as the nighttime wetting goes, not to get into a long winded explanation--but it's not particularly the huge, embarrassing big deal to him as I suspect it is to a lot of other kids. He's at the tail end of a really trying, difficult couple of months (year, really) for our family involving a nasty custody battle, and some medical challenges. While we have a few things we're still trying to tackle on that front--he's become extremely confident, and in general doesn't really get upset about not yet being dry at night. In the past month, for example...we stayed with some family that have three kids around his age. They shared a room, and he took full on ownership that he was wearing pull-ups at night while there, despite us offering to help and try and keep it from his cousins. By the end of the week, he was walking around their house before bedtime in nothing but a pull-up, and wasn't at all bothered. He's not a 'shy' kid.

Anonymous wrote:My 8 yo also wanted to go to overnight camp but was still wearing pull ups at night. He went and it really was a non-issue. We talked to him about how to be discreet (if he wanted to be) in putting them on and taking them off and we included the issue in our notes to camp and the counselors. But it’s not something he feels embarrassed about. Camps are very used to this issue and aren’t going to tolerate kids bullying each other in this day and age. I hope he has a great time!

That is GREAT to hear!! I'm glad it was not a problem for you all. This will be our first attempt at a camp such as this, so we're going in a bit blind. But...reading this seriously does give me hope.

[Anonymous]

Former camp director here. Yes, this is VERY common. I couldn't disagree more with the posters who are discouraging you from sending the child. When you have known bedwetter, it's actually a pretty simple issue to deal with. The trickier situations are when you have kids who are not bedwetters at home, but do so at camp because they are overtired, scared to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, forget to go to the bathroom before they go to sleep, etc. Then you have an upset and mortified kid who, more often than not, try to hide that they wet the bed, and then you have to deal with cabin stench and an embarrassed child. But a kid who comes with a pullup? No big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes counselors are used to it but would much prefer to not have to wash additional linens!

That's the whole point of a pull-up. FFS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not send him to day camp?

This is just needlessly creating a problem.

+1. Do you not like this child or something? Why would you put him in that situation of needing to wear diapers in front of other 8 year olds?

I love this child dearly. He's been through a lot, in the past few months, and I (gladly) adjusted my entire life to be there for him.

The idea of going to an overnight camp was *his* idea, and something he's been asking about non-stop for a while now. He's very confident, and independent for his age, and it well aware of what this would mean. We're not asking him to wear 'diapers' in front of kids, they're pull-ups. And, once again--this was/is something he is completely on board with.

We do not have experience with using disposable pull-ups at home while he with us. He wears something called 'Super Undies' while here, which are similar nighttime washable cloth training pants.

All I was asking with this thread is how discreet the disposable 'big kid' nighttime pull-ups (Good nights, a PP called them?) are, and if they'd be an OK option for him to wear around other kids. Are they comfortable? Do they hold a lot of pee?

This child is not the type to fall to pieces over other kids finding out he's wearing something at night. To be blunt, he's dealt with enough hardship in the past year that I doubt that would be a major deal to him at all--however it is something we'd like to avoid, if possible.

Appreciate everyone's input once again!

How are pull-ups not diapers? You’re insane.

And you’re an a$$hole.

[Anonymous]

If you can, see if the camp could put him in a tent/cabin or whatever with other kids that are also in pullups. That way there would be no embarrassment to deal when it's time to get ready for bed.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 is too young for overnight. You need to night train him. Counselors shouldn't have to deal with that.

You can’t night train kids who aren’t ready. Our ped won’t recommend anything until our son is 8. He puts on his pull ups at night under his PJs and puts them in the trash in the morning himself. There is nothing to “deal with”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, no!!! Your poor son will be teased mercilessly. No overnight camps or sleepovers until he’s through this phase.

Don’t do this to him, OP. Please! Things like this can scar a person for life.

OMG. This is so not a big deal at overnight camps. There are plenty of kids that sleep so deeply that they have to wear a pull-up at night at camp. And no, they are not too young to be there. And no, they are not a burden to the counselors. My younger daughter had to do this one summer, and she was worried so we made arrangements for her to throw the pull up out in a bag and then throw that bag in the trashcan while in the bathroom. Turns out, that there were several other kids in the cabin in that same situation. No one thought anything of it, and it was not a big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

We used an alarm with our son around 9. It really helped him. Our pediatrician suggested it when DS really wanted o go to cub scout camp but did no want a pullup. We were able to stop using it after about 8 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not send him to day camp?

This is just needlessly creating a problem.

+1. Do you not like this child or something? Why would you put him in that situation of needing to wear diapers in front of other 8 year olds?

I love this child dearly. He's been through a lot, in the past few months, and I (gladly) adjusted my entire life to be there for him.

The idea of going to an overnight camp was *his* idea, and something he's been asking about non-stop for a while now. He's very confident, and independent for his age, and it well aware of what this would mean. We're not asking him to wear 'diapers' in front of kids, they're pull-ups. And, once again--this was/is something he is completely on board with.

We do not have experience with using disposable pull-ups at home while he with us. He wears something called 'Super Undies' while here, which are similar nighttime washable cloth training pants.

All I was asking with this thread is how discreet the disposable 'big kid' nighttime pull-ups (Good nights, a PP called them?) are, and if they'd be an OK option for him to wear around other kids. Are they comfortable? Do they hold a lot of pee?

This child is not the type to fall to pieces over other kids finding out he's wearing something at night. To be blunt, he's dealt with enough hardship in the past year that I doubt that would be a major deal to him at all--however it is something we'd like to avoid, if possible.

Appreciate everyone's input once again!

He is 7 and your are an adult. 7 yr olds want things all the time that as adults we realize are not the best for them. Sending a child who has had the trauma of being removed from their own home and sent to live with someone else is very difficult. Don’t send him to overnight camp. If he is going to spend any length of time with you like the next few years, then you need to take the time this summer to spend lots of time with him one on one and as a family. Get counseling from someone who deals with children who have been in these traumatic situations. Find a counselor by doing lots of research for one who specializes and call a few an interview them. And for the love of God, do not say “he”s fine! he is doing great and he has adapted so well!” You are kidding yourself and this will come back to bite you in a very short time.

[Anonymous]

DS 7 still wets the bed and he wears a diaper at night. Please don't flame me as pull ups and the like don't do the job, he pees right through them. Yes, he would rather not wear one be its a lot better than waking up in a wet bed which he really hates. He has not expressed going to any summer camp and we having asked. If he wants to go, we will tackle that issue when the time comes. I feel if the child absolutely refuses to wear a diaper or pull up, then coming up with another solution would be best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, no!!! Your poor son will be teased mercilessly. No overnight camps or sleepovers until he’s through this phase.

Don’t do this to him, OP. Please! Things like this can scar a person for life.

THIS!

100% Do not do this. It might mean no camp for him, but that disappointment is better than the alternative