Do you want your kids to be more successful than other kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of a study I read about many years ago. Parents were asked if they would rather:

1) Have a kid who got a B+ education while most kids got a C- education

or

2) Everyone get an A+ education

Most people chose #2, but about a third did choose #1!

I think of this often while reading the MCPS forum.

I’m flabbergasted anyone would choose the first option.

[Anonymous]

I want them to be successful. Not more successful than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Everyone's definition of success varies by what field they're in and what is important to them.

I want my kids to feel like they're successful by whatever measures they choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I want them to become their peers bosses. I want them to be among the best.

Why?

Because when I look at my kid, and then look at a kid in my kid's class who is picking his nose and flicking it, and gets 70's on all his tests, I think she's better than him and don't want them to be equals.

Wow. With that kind of attitude, I feel sorry for your kid. Truly.

Don't waste your time. My kid is thriving and has no need for your pity. It doesn't affect her one whit, and only negatively affects you, so you're the one who would lose out in that scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I want them to become their peers bosses. I want them to be among the best.

+1. I teach, and try to support and guide, them to strive to be among the best (and to put in corresponding amounts of time/effort as needed). I hope other kids are striving for the same as well, elevating everyone's performance along the way.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how this is a question. Of course I want my kids to be successful. I define that as being able to independently support themselves enough to live a comfortable lifestyle. I feel that makes ones life a heck of a lot easier, when money is one less thing to worry about. That doesn't preclude other kids from also being successful.

[Anonymous]

Who are you all trying to fool. As If this entire board isn’t about competition comparison and one-upmanship. Of course I want my kid to be successful. In a competitive world, yes I’d like my kid to be one of the best. But I don’t necessarily wish failure on your kids. It’s not a zero sum game. There is lots of room at the top for lots of winners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are you all trying to fool. As If this entire board isn’t about competition comparison and one-upmanship. Of course I want my kid to be successful. In a competitive world, yes I’d like my kid to be one of the best. But I don’t necessarily wish failure on your kids. It’s not a zero sum game. There is lots of room at the top for lots of winners.

Many of us do not view life as a zero sum game. All parents want their kids to be successful, it's just that some of us don't think success automatically has to come at someone else's expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of a study I read about many years ago. Parents were asked if they would rather:

1) Have a kid who got a B+ education while most kids got a C- education

or

2) Everyone get an A+ education

Most people chose #2, but about a third did choose #1!

I think of this often while reading the MCPS forum.

1) Your income is $100k and the median income is $60k
2) Your income and the median income are both $200k
Obvious answer here

[Anonymous]

Life doesn't run on participation trophies. If everyone gets As, As become meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I want them to be happy. I don't care what that looks like. That being said...will being destitute make them happy? Or in a job they hate? I want them to understand that happiness often means setting goals and working hard to achieve them. If that goal is working at a hair salon or getting an MD doesn't matter to me.

This is the only comment in the entire thread that uses the word WORK.

Here's my question: at what age and how do you teach your kids to work hard towards their goals?
I don't see hard work being valued in raising kids. I get the impression that the parents of my kids' peers don't think it's worth pushing yet - 8 and 10 years old. Will those values come out in parents once kids hit middle school? Is hard work not cool?

[Anonymous]

I want them to be rich don’t care about others (grew up poor and still lower middle class

[Anonymous]

I don’t want them to end up in retail or a garbageman, so yes I want them to be more successful than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of a study I read about many years ago. Parents were asked if they would rather:

1) Have a kid who got a B+ education while most kids got a C- education

or

2) Everyone get an A+ education

Most people chose #2, but about a third did choose #1!

I think of this often while reading the MCPS forum.

1) Your income is $100k and the median income is $60k
2) Your income and the median income are both $200k
Obvious answer here

Yes. Option #2.

[Anonymous]

I would say if differently. I want my kids to be happy. Some level of success is part of that but happiness is the key. Don't give a crap about others kids. Idea would never enter my mind.