I'm always amazed by how accepting kids are

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the situation too and what the special needs are. My dd had someone with oppositional defiant disorder and really just disrupted the class constantly. The kids were really not accepting of this, especially when the kid was rude and disrespected the teacher. He didn’t make any friends either and was aggressive to other kids. I know the mom was upset at the other kids for not playing with her son but he hit other kids, would throw mulch and said cruel things too. Totally different than the deaf kid in the class who was kind and welcomed by all.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

Absolutely agree with this and am so sorry that you've had negative experiences. You are absolutely correct in what you say here.

So, my child has really profound special needs (so she would have no clue someone was making fun of her — she is a baby cognitively). What I find interesting is that we have encountered nothing but kindness in over a decade. Her sister’s friends have never made fun of her being in a diaper, using a sippy cup, drooling, etc. It seems like higher functioning kids that still have cognitive and behavioral issues are treated poorly, but at some point the situation becomes so atypical that people stop being jerks.

Yes, I think it’s more of an issue when the child appears “normal.” But many people who are gay, trans, poly, etc. are not obviously such. Acceptance should not hinge on awareness of a difference.

Did you just compare polyamorous adults to a child with profound special needs? Just stop.

Okay. Sure. No. I compared intolerance to intolerance. Tossing out stupid internet speak in retort is not the comeback you think it is. It’s meaningless claptrap.

You just compared intolerance towards a special needs child to intolerance towards a not obviously poly adult's choice of non monogamy. Meaningless claptrap for sure.

I’m really not phased by your woke shaming, so carry on being outraged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the situation too and what the special needs are. My dd had someone with oppositional defiant disorder and really just disrupted the class constantly. The kids were really not accepting of this, especially when the kid was rude and disrespected the teacher. He didn’t make any friends either and was aggressive to other kids. I know the mom was upset at the other kids for not playing with her son but he hit other kids, would throw mulch and said cruel things too. Totally different than the deaf kid in the class who was kind and welcomed by all.

This is the point though. You knew and were told the child had a disability. You don’t have to like the way it made him act or tolerate it - the school should have had measures in place to deal with it. But labeling the child as not being “kind” and saying he deserved to be ostracized - no.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

Absolutely agree with this and am so sorry that you've had negative experiences. You are absolutely correct in what you say here.

So, my child has really profound special needs (so she would have no clue someone was making fun of her — she is a baby cognitively). What I find interesting is that we have encountered nothing but kindness in over a decade. Her sister’s friends have never made fun of her being in a diaper, using a sippy cup, drooling, etc. It seems like higher functioning kids that still have cognitive and behavioral issues are treated poorly, but at some point the situation becomes so atypical that people stop being jerks.

Yes, I think it’s more of an issue when the child appears “normal.” But many people who are gay, trans, poly, etc. are not obviously such. Acceptance should not hinge on awareness of a difference.

Did you just compare polyamorous adults to a child with profound special needs? Just stop.

Okay. Sure. No. I compared intolerance to intolerance. Tossing out stupid internet speak in retort is not the comeback you think it is. It’s meaningless claptrap.

You just compared intolerance towards a special needs child to intolerance towards a not obviously poly adult's choice of non monogamy. Meaningless claptrap for sure.

Yes. Most people are not aware or refuse to be aware that some behavioral issues are caused by special needs because they aren’t evident. The point is that you don’t need to have things explained to you to be tolerant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

Absolutely agree with this and am so sorry that you've had negative experiences. You are absolutely correct in what you say here.

So, my child has really profound special needs (so she would have no clue someone was making fun of her — she is a baby cognitively). What I find interesting is that we have encountered nothing but kindness in over a decade. Her sister’s friends have never made fun of her being in a diaper, using a sippy cup, drooling, etc. It seems like higher functioning kids that still have cognitive and behavioral issues are treated poorly, but at some point the situation becomes so atypical that people stop being jerks.

Yes, I think it’s more of an issue when the child appears “normal.” But many people who are gay, trans, poly, etc. are not obviously such. Acceptance should not hinge on awareness of a difference.

Did you just compare polyamorous adults to a child with profound special needs? Just stop.

Okay. Sure. No. I compared intolerance to intolerance. Tossing out stupid internet speak in retort is not the comeback you think it is. It’s meaningless claptrap.

You just compared intolerance towards a special needs child to intolerance towards a not obviously poly adult's choice of non monogamy. Meaningless claptrap for sure.

Yes. Most people are not aware or refuse to be aware that some behavioral issues are caused by special needs because they aren’t evident. The point is that you don’t need to have things explained to you to be tolerant.

Why would anyone need to be "tolerant" of polyamory? It's not a condition you're born with like autism, or a behavioral issue. Other adults don't need to validate your choices, and it's pathetic to try to attach yourself to actual marginalized groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So DS has known about how men can be with men, women can be with women and simple things like that. We haven't really gone into pride, Trans, and other LGBQT+ things yet. The other day he asked about the rainbow flags and I explained Pride Month and he asked about what the rest of the letters were so I explained it. Then he asked why it was a big thing so we talked about how they had been treated, their rights, etc. His reaction was pretty much. "oh. That's weird. Why would anyone care what makes someone happy."

In talking to their friends, it seems like this was a fairly common reaction with little kids. "oh OK that's cool".

I remember growing up and being LGBQT+ was just gaining support but was still pretty hush hush. Kids were still made fun of.

I just wish kids could hang out to this level of acceptance their whole lives, but I suppose as more and more influences them, things change.

No one is born with prejudice or hate. These are learned from parents and community. I was reared in the deep south by parents who were not prejudiced against blacks and my siblings and I were never prejudiced.

[Anonymous]

You guys are pretty funny. You think you’re going to be able to stamp out millennia of racism and intolerance by teaching your kids that everyone is the same. Cute.

There will always be othering. There will always be groups. Once kids get to be about age 6-7, they begin to develop their own thoughts and many can be quite cruel even with perfect parenting.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, of course, but to think this is a parenting issue is just not accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are pretty funny. You think you’re going to be able to stamp out millennia of racism and intolerance by teaching your kids that everyone is the same. Cute.

There will always be othering. There will always be groups. Once kids get to be about age 6-7, they begin to develop their own thoughts and many can be quite cruel even with perfect parenting.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, of course, but to think this is a parenting issue is just not accurate.

Before that. An Asian 2 year old made my AA 2 year old cry about her ugly skin and hair. I’m the earlier poster that said things are learners ans gave kudos to mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are pretty funny. You think you’re going to be able to stamp out millennia of racism and intolerance by teaching your kids that everyone is the same. Cute.

There will always be othering. There will always be groups. Once kids get to be about age 6-7, they begin to develop their own thoughts and many can be quite cruel even with perfect parenting.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, of course, but to think this is a parenting issue is just not accurate.

Before that. An Asian 2 year old made my AA 2 year old cry about her ugly skin and hair. I’m the earlier poster that said things are learners ans gave kudos to mom.

I’m sorry that happened to you and your daughter. We need to continue proselytizing but this problem will never go away. That’s why I believe cancel culture in the long term is not effective. We are all human, we are all fallible, we can all learn to do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean.... how accepting would you be of your child’s Muslim friend who disagrees with the tenants of the LGBTQ movement? You’re just raising someone with different values, not less bigoted.

One of my good friends heartily believes that Sharia law is better for society, while I'm firmly against mixing religion and government. We don't discuss Sharia law, abortion, lbgtq or adultery. We've had a blast discussing other things (like polygamy and other aspects of culture and religion), and the merits of specific politicians is always entertaining.

I'm a queer, progressive parent raising a kid in a politically, racially, culturally diverse place. I'm all for tolerance in personal relationships. I have friends who don't "approve of my lifestyle" but are generally great people who will publicly stand up for not judging others. My kid has had other kids tell her that God doesn't like it when families have two moms or two dads. I tell her other people are going to believe different things than we do but that doesn't hurt us. In the case of those kids, I remind her that it must be scary to believe in a God who would hurt you or your family because you did something God didn't like (that comment was based on some things the other child told my child). Politically, I will absolutely fight it out, but person to person I think it's important to be chill with other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the situation too and what the special needs are. My dd had someone with oppositional defiant disorder and really just disrupted the class constantly. The kids were really not accepting of this, especially when the kid was rude and disrespected the teacher. He didn’t make any friends either and was aggressive to other kids. I know the mom was upset at the other kids for not playing with her son but he hit other kids, would throw mulch and said cruel things too. Totally different than the deaf kid in the class who was kind and welcomed by all.

This is the point though. You knew and were told the child had a disability. You don’t have to like the way it made him act or tolerate it - the school should have had measures in place to deal with it. But labeling the child as not being “kind” and saying he deserved to be ostracized - no.

PP here. The school really didn't deal with it. The kids tried to befriend him but he was really cruel to them- throwing mulch, screaming at them, he twisted my dd's forearm skin. Objectively he wasn't kind. Kids shouldn't have to accept behavior like that. He definitely was a bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the situation too and what the special needs are. My dd had someone with oppositional defiant disorder and really just disrupted the class constantly. The kids were really not accepting of this, especially when the kid was rude and disrespected the teacher. He didn’t make any friends either and was aggressive to other kids. I know the mom was upset at the other kids for not playing with her son but he hit other kids, would throw mulch and said cruel things too. Totally different than the deaf kid in the class who was kind and welcomed by all.

This is the point though. You knew and were told the child had a disability. You don’t have to like the way it made him act or tolerate it - the school should have had measures in place to deal with it. But labeling the child as not being “kind” and saying he deserved to be ostracized - no.

PP here. The school really didn't deal with it. The kids tried to befriend him but he was really cruel to them- throwing mulch, screaming at them, he twisted my dd's forearm skin. Objectively he wasn't kind. Kids shouldn't have to accept behavior like that. He definitely was a bully.

That is on the school. He had an identified disability. He wasn’t “unkind.” And no, children don’t have to accept behavior directed at them. But the school is responsible for that. Not the small child with a disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

Absolutely agree with this and am so sorry that you've had negative experiences. You are absolutely correct in what you say here.

So, my child has really profound special needs (so she would have no clue someone was making fun of her — she is a baby cognitively). What I find interesting is that we have encountered nothing but kindness in over a decade. Her sister’s friends have never made fun of her being in a diaper, using a sippy cup, drooling, etc. It seems like higher functioning kids that still have cognitive and behavioral issues are treated poorly, but at some point the situation becomes so atypical that people stop being jerks.

Yes, I think it’s more of an issue when the child appears “normal.” But many people who are gay, trans, poly, etc. are not obviously such. Acceptance should not hinge on awareness of a difference.

Did you just compare polyamorous adults to a child with profound special needs? Just stop.

Okay. Sure. No. I compared intolerance to intolerance. Tossing out stupid internet speak in retort is not the comeback you think it is. It’s meaningless claptrap.

You just compared intolerance towards a special needs child to intolerance towards a not obviously poly adult's choice of non monogamy. Meaningless claptrap for sure.

Look at what happens in Utah when anyone finds out that a child's father has 2-5 wives. It's not meaningless. Parents have been sent to prison and their children split up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

Absolutely agree with this and am so sorry that you've had negative experiences. You are absolutely correct in what you say here.

So, my child has really profound special needs (so she would have no clue someone was making fun of her — she is a baby cognitively). What I find interesting is that we have encountered nothing but kindness in over a decade. Her sister’s friends have never made fun of her being in a diaper, using a sippy cup, drooling, etc. It seems like higher functioning kids that still have cognitive and behavioral issues are treated poorly, but at some point the situation becomes so atypical that people stop being jerks.

Yes, I think it’s more of an issue when the child appears “normal.” But many people who are gay, trans, poly, etc. are not obviously such. Acceptance should not hinge on awareness of a difference.

Did you just compare polyamorous adults to a child with profound special needs? Just stop.

Okay. Sure. No. I compared intolerance to intolerance. Tossing out stupid internet speak in retort is not the comeback you think it is. It’s meaningless claptrap.

You just compared intolerance towards a special needs child to intolerance towards a not obviously poly adult's choice of non monogamy. Meaningless claptrap for sure.

Look at what happens in Utah when anyone finds out that a child's father has 2-5 wives. It's not meaningless. Parents have been sent to prison and their children split up.

Choices have consequences. Polygamy and polyamory are choices, not a condition you're born with. It's not the same as being born gay or lesbian or autistic.