For those whose teens go to bed very late….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:late night chatting with friends and watching old episodes of the Office and Friends

This. Or watching stupid stuff on TikTok.

Both my teens are responsible and get up when they need to-one is a morning swimmer- so I don't stress about when they go to bed.

[Anonymous]

OP - it will be fine. Yes, my kids are often the last to sleep. If they are, the shut the lights and lock the doors, although it's just double checking. One is in high school, the other is in college now. They can handle it.

We have rules - they can't wake us up (except in emergency), they can't be loud, if they are watching tV without headphones, please do it in the basement.

We stopped having a bedtime after they finished 8th grade (that's what worked for us), and we said they could do what they want as long as they don't argue with each other or wake up me or DH.

We have an alarm that beeps in my room so they aren't sneaking out.

When my older one was out pre-covid, he would have to come to my room and tell me when he got home so I wouldn't worry. Younger one doesn't drive yet.

I'm sure they mostly watch TV and snapchat their friends, there was definitely a fortnight phase for one, the other binges Netfix with her friends. At the beginning of the freedom, one was staying up until 3 or 4 am! But honestly it's not that much fun to be tired so eventually they both settled in and probably both go to bed around midnight most nights.

I am an early riser and go to bed pretty much every night at 10.

[Anonymous]

PP here - also yes, they totally eat a ton at night! Every single night. They get whatever snacks they want or leftovers on their own, of course,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it will be fine. Yes, my kids are often the last to sleep. If they are, the shut the lights and lock the doors, although it's just double checking. One is in high school, the other is in college now. They can handle it.

We have rules - they can't wake us up (except in emergency), they can't be loud, if they are watching tV without headphones, please do it in the basement.

We stopped having a bedtime after they finished 8th grade (that's what worked for us), and we said they could do what they want as long as they don't argue with each other or wake up me or DH.

We have an alarm that beeps in my room so they aren't sneaking out.

When my older one was out pre-covid, he would have to come to my room and tell me when he got home so I wouldn't worry. Younger one doesn't drive yet.

I'm sure they mostly watch TV and snapchat their friends, there was definitely a fortnight phase for one, the other binges Netfix with her friends. At the beginning of the freedom, one was staying up until 3 or 4 am! But honestly it's not that much fun to be tired so eventually they both settled in and probably both go to bed around midnight most nights.

I am an early riser and go to bed pretty much every night at 10.

Op here—thanks! This post (and the other replies) have all been helpful to me. I’m not stressing about it, but it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe because school is almost over and summer means later bedtimes.

[Anonymous]

This is so freaking sad. Don’t you think maybe as parents you should take their devices away after a certain time in the name of healthy brain development? Even if they are in high school. I’d rather my kid sneak out and be in person with people doing tame things than on Xbox, etc until all hours. Be parents, people. And read about the effects this will have on their brain.

[Anonymous]

My 14 yo DD has NEVER slept well. She has a cutoff time that she obey's mostly but I am SO exhausted I pass out early. I check to see what she is into. It is ALL anime, Duolingo Japanese and Korean, Music, or Audible. Totally fine by me. She typically takes a small nap after school and she has done this since a baby. We know our child, her schedule and what she needs. The pp, you can shove it! Go raise your own children the way you want and leave the rest of us alone. My teen is amazing, top of her class, and is kind and just awesome at planning events for her school and community. I parent just fine thanks!

[Anonymous]

Gym, eat, homework, netflix, video games, who knows.

17 and 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so freaking sad. Don’t you think maybe as parents you should take their devices away after a certain time in the name of healthy brain development? Even if they are in high school. I’d rather my kid sneak out and be in person with people doing tame things than on Xbox, etc until all hours. Be parents, people. And read about the effects this will have on their brain.

Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so freaking sad. Don’t you think maybe as parents you should take their devices away after a certain time in the name of healthy brain development? Even if they are in high school. I’d rather my kid sneak out and be in person with people doing tame things than on Xbox, etc until all hours. Be parents, people. And read about the effects this will have on their brain.

+1

[Anonymous]

Son - video games
Daughter - texts friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so freaking sad. Don’t you think maybe as parents you should take their devices away after a certain time in the name of healthy brain development? Even if they are in high school. I’d rather my kid sneak out and be in person with people doing tame things than on Xbox, etc until all hours. Be parents, people. And read about the effects this will have on their brain.

Really? My brother used to sneak out at night. He was on a fatal car crash with a friend. I’d rather my kid binge watch The Office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so freaking sad. Don’t you think maybe as parents you should take their devices away after a certain time in the name of healthy brain development? Even if they are in high school. I’d rather my kid sneak out and be in person with people doing tame things than on Xbox, etc until all hours. Be parents, people. And read about the effects this will have on their brain.

I don't think encouraging them to sneak out is the answer, but I am very concerned about the hours and hours and hours and hours on their phones/xboxes/etc. I am a local HS teacher, and I feel like I have seen a lot of changes in kids' social skills development over the past 10 years.

[Anonymous]

I would NOT rather my kid sneak out, which is likely to involve drinking and drugs.

My 16 year old plays video games, watches netflix shows and otherwise talks and snapchats friends late at night.

Last night I said goodnight and he was clearly on the phone with friends. It's social without me driving him anywhere - yes, it's not perfect, but it's a product of them learning to make the most of it during covid.

My kid also has in person school (until it's over this week), has a summer job in person lined up and plays a sport.

He's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so freaking sad. Don’t you think maybe as parents you should take their devices away after a certain time in the name of healthy brain development? Even if they are in high school. I’d rather my kid sneak out and be in person with people doing tame things than on Xbox, etc until all hours. Be parents, people. And read about the effects this will have on their brain.

Have you been living under a rock?
First of all, this pandemic has radically changed the ways in which teens socialize. I did NOT want my teen hanging out with friends, almost certainly unmasked, getting COVID and/or bringing it home to our family. We completely relaxed the rules on devices since it was really the only way for teens to socialize without exposing themselves and others to COVID. And it was only very, very recently that the CDC said that kids could socialize unmarked outdoors with little risk of transmission.
Second, even the earliest vaccinated 12-15 year olds will not get full immunity for another week. The older ones didn't get vaccinated until mid-spring.
Third, what in the world makes you so confident that a kid who will flaunt the rules enough to sneak out of the house will be engaging in "tame things"? Dear god. What do you think kids who sneak out of the house are sneaking out to do? Hold book club? SMH
You really seem to have a poor sense of balancing risk. While I am not happy about the extensive amount of screen time my kids have had this last year, I am also beyond thrilled that they agreed to stick to guidelines to prevent COVID transmission. If that meant socializing online, so be it.