Saving for Daycare/Nanny etc.

[Anonymous]

For those of you who found great in-home daycare options in Bethesda, would you mind sharing the names?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Of course you don't have to wait but if you want to know how to afford daycare, it's to have enough money to pay for it. There is nothing holier than thou about it. I could not have saved for daycare prior to my promotion, the money simply wasn't there. We could not have lived off my husband's salary alone so staying home was not an option to avoid paying for child care. At the time, I was the breadwinner and my salary also was not enough for him to stay home with the baby.

We could have physically had a kid earlier but it would have been bad for us and not a good space to bring a baby into. Why on earth would I knowingly go into motherhood with that information?

You might not have been able to live the type of life you wanted to live off just your salary or just your husband's salary, but I'm sure you would have survived.

This is exactly it. And exactly why people aren't having kids. They are prioritizing other things. I get it, I'm a millennial. We have been screwed over so many times in our lives. It doesn't make financial sense to have kids. Plus the climate. Our country is going to be in trouble in 50 years and the boomers, whose fault this is, will be long gone and not have to deal with the ramifications of their selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

[Anonymous]

We didn't save for childcare. I did call research daycare center prices to build it into our budget. We saved more for the 1-time expenses like leave without pay for part of my maternity leave, furniture, decor, baby supplies... I felt like it was too hard to save completely for childcare because it's just so expensive in this area. It was doable to build it into the budget and then work our other expenses around that. For example, focusing on paying off our car and refinancing our home mortgage to free up money monthly that will now go to childcare.

[Anonymous]

I went part time WFH and MIL watched the baby on the days I worked. Do you have family nearby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

My husband was raised by a single mom who couldn’t afford soccer camps and for whom money was a constant struggle. He was always in day care, after care, and before care so his mom could work. Always sick, and having to go to school. If you think that money stress and being a kid who can’t go to camp or on nice vacations and afford the nice clothes friends wear and have to wear hand me downs doesn’t impact a child, you’re out to lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Of course you don't have to wait but if you want to know how to afford daycare, it's to have enough money to pay for it. There is nothing holier than thou about it. I could not have saved for daycare prior to my promotion, the money simply wasn't there. We could not have lived off my husband's salary alone so staying home was not an option to avoid paying for child care. At the time, I was the breadwinner and my salary also was not enough for him to stay home with the baby.

We could have physically had a kid earlier but it would have been bad for us and not a good space to bring a baby into. Why on earth would I knowingly go into motherhood with that information?

You might not have been able to live the type of life you wanted to live off just your salary or just your husband's salary, but I'm sure you would have survived.

While I will agree that you don't need a lot of money to take care of kids, some people may want more than simply being able to "survive." Just different preferences. I know someone who got married and had kids right after high school before she had any job or career. Her spouse was her age and also had no job. At the tine, I thought, "Wow, don't know how she would take care of the child??" I didn't know about it then but she probably got Medicaid for healthcare and they lived for free with her family. So basically no expenses except for food... It turned out to be fine - it worked for her. A family member of mine had a ton of kids without making much money because they bought a very cheap house and got free childcare from a mother in law who watched the kids all day AND all night. So this person saved money on childcare and she didn't have to deal with the pains of going through the newborn phase. All she had to do was go to work, go home, eat and sleep. Awesome right?

So no, you don't need a lot of money to take care of kids, but people have different standards as to how they want to raise their kids. If you want a nanny, you need to have a lot of money. That is a very expensive form of childcare. I know of only 1 person who had a nanny (I work in a field that is low-paying) and she was able to have one because she was independently wealthy. Most people had to do daycare which is cheaper so I think that requires less savings. A few had free childcare from family members. A few quit their jobs to stay home because they either couldn't afford daycare or didn't want to do daycare. One person spent her whole paycheck on daycare for multiple kids, and wanted to quit her job since it wasn't worth it. But she couldn't because they need health insurance!!! Her husband was working a job that had no benefits. She had to continue working just for healthcare.

If you want to have a choice, you need to have $$$ or a special situation that most people won't have (free rent for example). Money is a real limitation when it comes to kids. I grew up poor so I know it is possible to "survive" on limited income. But not everyone wants to just survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

My husband was raised by a single mom who couldn’t afford soccer camps and for whom money was a constant struggle. He was always in day care, after care, and before care so his mom could work. Always sick, and having to go to school. If you think that money stress and being a kid who can’t go to camp or on nice vacations and afford the nice clothes friends wear and have to wear hand me downs doesn’t impact a child, you’re out to lunch.

Um you do realize the alternative here is...not having had him right? That's what we're talking about? Surely you, your husband, his kids and his mother are all happy he was born?

[Anonymous]

We paid out of monthly cash flow. It was tight in the early years and our retirement savings took a hit. We also had to wait to start college savings. But I’m happy we had those extra years with the kids instead of waiting for everything to be perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

My husband was raised by a single mom who couldn’t afford soccer camps and for whom money was a constant struggle. He was always in day care, after care, and before care so his mom could work. Always sick, and having to go to school. If you think that money stress and being a kid who can’t go to camp or on nice vacations and afford the nice clothes friends wear and have to wear hand me downs doesn’t impact a child, you’re out to lunch.

Um you do realize the alternative here is...not having had him right? That's what we're talking about? Surely you, your husband, his kids and his mother are all happy he was born?

NP. If he wasn't nobody would know the difference though and she would likely have married someone else and had different kids that she also would be happy with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

The fact that you think everyone who can't afford Chevy Chase can afford Silver Spring just shows how truly DCUM-style out of touch you are. You don't know anything at all about poverty - which is not, btw, "oh noes, I had to settle for an unrenovated split-level in a GS6 neighborhood instead of a $2M colonial in a GS10 district" - so you just need to shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

My husband was raised by a single mom who couldn’t afford soccer camps and for whom money was a constant struggle. He was always in day care, after care, and before care so his mom could work. Always sick, and having to go to school. If you think that money stress and being a kid who can’t go to camp or on nice vacations and afford the nice clothes friends wear and have to wear hand me downs doesn’t impact a child, you’re out to lunch.

Um you do realize the alternative here is...not having had him right? That's what we're talking about? Surely you, your husband, his kids and his mother are all happy he was born?

NP. If he wasn't nobody would know the difference though and she would likely have married someone else and had different kids that she also would be happy with.

So the logical conclusion to this is that poor people should have children, yes? You and Margaret Sanger. Let's eat the Irish while we're at it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

This is a true eye-roller. Sorry Johnny, I was too old to give you any brothers or sisters because I wanted to make sure you could play League Soccer for a year!

There’s a term for what you’re describing and it’s lifestyle creep. Yes it’s entirely possible for your kids to have a happy and rewarding childhood while making a retail salary. It sounds like you run in the wrong circles and are making wrong choices for your income level (IE maybe consider Silver Spring over Chevy Chase) if money stresses you out that much.

The fact that you think everyone who can't afford Chevy Chase can afford Silver Spring just shows how truly DCUM-style out of touch you are. You don't know anything at all about poverty - which is not, btw, "oh noes, I had to settle for an unrenovated split-level in a GS6 neighborhood instead of a $2M colonial in a GS10 district" - so you just need to shut up.

Lol no one here is talking about *actual* poverty you insane person. There’s a whole world in between elite soccer leagues and choosing not to have kids at all. You have to be a troll, no one is that dense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is also reasonable to want to be able to provide for your kid. Your kid doesn't need new clothes when there are hand me downs but no one wants to be able to tell their child that they can't play on a soccer league with their friends because the family can't afford the fee.

Also, the stress of never having enough money is all encompassing. Yes, people do it all the time but that doesn't make it good. Always having to choose between the things you need but cannot afford to have it all? It's heartbreaking. And it is really hard on a marriage and children respond to stress in the home.

Yes, of course you have have a baby without a lot of money. But do you want to?

Jeez this is like, max DCUM out of touch elistist bubble talk. And I am UMC from DC. A salary of 150k a year is not a prerequisite for having a child. There is a time constraint on having kids and for many people it is the most fulfilling part of their life.

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