I just lost it on my dog and I feel awful

[Anonymous]

People are a**holes - ignore them. Your dog is not suffering because you go to work. My dog barks when he can see or hear the outside. I close the curtains and turn on sound. My step-mom used to play country music for her dog when she was gone (just the local station) and it worked wonders. My particular dog doesn't care for TV - I don't actually think she can see it well- but I imagine dog tv has a similar effect to the music playing. Pro tip: Don't pick any sounds with potential doorbells like broadcast TV.

If your dog is barking due to boredom or loneliness, doggy day care may be a good option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. Thanks everyone for the helpful responses. I was at a really low point when I wrote this. I would NEVER get rid of my dog, and i (oddly) think that’s where some of my concern stems from. If I had a SFH and he was barking, I’d obviously try to resolve the issue for his benefit but wouldn’t worry so much about it myself. Since I live in a condo, I don’t want to be insensitive to my neighbors or get complaints about this (worried they’d evict the dog even though I’m the owner) so I basically just don’t leave. Sigh. I’ve signed us up with a trainer which will hopefully help.

Good job, OP! The trainer will help tons.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried medication? An SSRI can be a game changer.
https://www.reconcile.com/
You’ll figure it out, 0P, I understand the stress and anxiety when you don’t live in a single-family home.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think the bark collars didn't work?
Ours worked like a charm on our dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the dog. Pets are there for enjoyment not to make your life harder. Get rid of of it and get a different one if you really want a dog.

You’re a shitty person.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to make you feel better by saying I've yelled at my kid (human person), and told them they were a brat in a low moment.

You aren't a horrible person, it happens and you are trying to make it better. I just wanted to make you feel better by saying that pretty much all parents out there have done this to their human children. Which is certainly even worse than yelling at a dog, since even though your tone might have scared your dog I'm not sure of the total cognitive awareness and/or memory of content.

And I mean I did feel bad when I yelled at my kid. That one time. lol.

You are okay, you are a good pet owner. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to make you feel better by saying I've yelled at my kid (human person), and told them they were a brat in a low moment.

You aren't a horrible person, it happens and you are trying to make it better. I just wanted to make you feel better by saying that pretty much all parents out there have done this to their human children. Which is certainly even worse than yelling at a dog, since even though your tone might have scared your dog I'm not sure of the total cognitive awareness and/or memory of content.

And I mean I did feel bad when I yelled at my kid. That one time. lol.

You are okay, you are a good pet owner. Hugs to you.

You are so kind! We are all human and all make mistakes. Thank you, this really did make me feel better. - the OP

[Anonymous]

What is your schedule and how much time are you expecting him to spend alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your schedule and how much time are you expecting him to spend alone?

I should note that pre-pandemic - he regularly was alone 8+ hours a day (with a dog walker) with minimal issues. These days, I work from home FT - so honestly, majority of days I’m out 1-2 hours (throughout each day) for errands, etc.; few times a week I’m gone for longer stretches (4-5 hours) for social stuff. I don’t think it’s excessive at all.

I haven’t been doing the above due to his issues but this is what I did before they started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your schedule and how much time are you expecting him to spend alone?

I should note that pre-pandemic - he regularly was alone 8+ hours a day (with a dog walker) with minimal issues. These days, I work from home FT - so honestly, majority of days I’m out 1-2 hours (throughout each day) for errands, etc.; few times a week I’m gone for longer stretches (4-5 hours) for social stuff. I don’t think it’s excessive at all.

I haven’t been doing the above due to his issues but this is what I did before they started.

I’m wondering if the dogs have second hand anxiety, passed on from their owners at the height of the pandemic. I swear we used to never hear a peep out of our dog but now she whines even if we just leave the room for a moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the dog. Pets are there for enjoyment not to make your life harder. Get rid of of it and get a different one if you really want a dog.

You’re a shitty person.

Nope, I’m a person that understand the natural order of things. A dog is a pet, it shouldn’t run your life. If it can’t behave....next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. Thanks everyone for the helpful responses. I was at a really low point when I wrote this. I would NEVER get rid of my dog, and i (oddly) think that’s where some of my concern stems from. If I had a SFH and he was barking, I’d obviously try to resolve the issue for his benefit but wouldn’t worry so much about it myself. Since I live in a condo, I don’t want to be insensitive to my neighbors or get complaints about this (worried they’d evict the dog even though I’m the owner) so I basically just don’t leave. Sigh. I’ve signed us up with a trainer which will hopefully help.

Honestly these problems don’t easily go away. A trainer is a good step, but I would be surprised if it ended the barking/anxiety. My fingers are crossed for you! You do need a plan B. Since you don’t want to rehome your dog, then maybe think about moving yourself. It’s unreasonable and unrealistic to be locked in your home all day. Soon YOU will be the one howling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bark collar will rapidly fix the behavior with a marginally bright dog.

Do NOT use a bark collar. As others have said, your dog is scared/anxious. Using a bark collar will only exacerbate that. There are lots of ways to work on separation anxiety - medication, working with a trainer, distracting/keeping the dog busy with a frozen Kong. I know it’s hard and frustrating, but realizing that it’s the dog being scared may help with your patience. Good luck, you can definitely do this!

+1 if you really want to f**k your dog up, use a bark collar

OP: We are all at the edge of our tethers. The humans, the dogs. Definitely talk to a trainer, and talk to your vet. And good luck - be kind to yourself, and to your dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an anxious dog. He hasn't been left alone much due to COVID. But we are going out now without him to get him used to the day we all go back to work. I subscribe to DogTv. And leave it on for him, low volume, but where he can see it easily. It's a godsend. Completely calms him down. You could try that.

Personally, I would try doggie day care at least a couple of days a week. It will run him ragged so that he doesn't have a lot of energy the next day and will be happy enough sleeping.

Doggie day care is a great idea, if that's feasible.