I'm jealous of people whose parents aren't narcissists

[Anonymous]

You can begin to reparent yourself now, and heal those wounds for the sake of your present and future self, and your children and their children.

[Anonymous]

You know I was going to put "me too" but I recently had an epiphany about the last time my narc mother had a rage fit at me. I went to therapy and started learning to detach and I realized...If she had been grateful for all the help I gave her when dad was ill, I'd still be doing cartwheels for her and trying to rescue her and making myself ill. Instead I figured out how to have a relationship without setting myself on fire to keep her warm. I realized my own issues with people pleasing and how I was codependent in other areas and I would still be doing backflips to please friends and people at work.

So, in part the blow up where I could not take another second of the abusive behavior is what pushed me to learn how to truly take care of my emotional well being. It pushed me harder to see how important boundaries are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know I was going to put "me too" but I recently had an epiphany about the last time my narc mother had a rage fit at me. I went to therapy and started learning to detach and I realized...If she had been grateful for all the help I gave her when dad was ill, I'd still be doing cartwheels for her and trying to rescue her and making myself ill. Instead I figured out how to have a relationship without setting myself on fire to keep her warm. I realized my own issues with people pleasing and how I was codependent in other areas and I would still be doing backflips to please friends and people at work.

So, in part the blow up where I could not take another second of the abusive behavior is what pushed me to learn how to truly take care of my emotional well being. It pushed me harder to see how important boundaries are.

This speaks to me. I had this epiphany with another person, but the realization happened when I realized I was just repeating patterns from my parental relationship and I needed to figure out how to stop unless I wanted to be trapped in codependency the rest of my life.

I still wish I’d never learned those patterns to begin with.