Do you ask about guns in the house before a playdate?

[Anonymous]

not a gun advocate AT ALL but all statistics show higher chance of dying via swimming pool than gun. anyone read freakonomics?

[Anonymous]

Dh is a federal agent. We have never been asked. Of course, knowing what DH does, most people probably assume we have a gun in the house. If someone asked, I wouldn't be offended. DH's guns are properly secured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not a gun advocate AT ALL but all statistics show higher chance of dying via swimming pool than gun. anyone read freakonomics?

Then it is probably reasonable to ask about both. A child can be taught to swim, they can't be taught to dodge an accidentally fired bullet.

[Anonymous]

I would ask. I'd probably say it with a smile, something like "Good luck with these curious little boys! You don't have anything they could get into, do you . . . pools, guns, or poison?" Or you could always just tell a white lie and say "This may seem forward, but I have to ask you if you have any weapons in the house. I have a family member/friend who had an unfortunate accident with a weapon and I need to be sure about this."

If they are offended at you asking a question about your child's safety, do you really want your child under that person's supervision for any length of time?

[Anonymous]

I would ask, and would not let my child have a play date in a house with guns. As a matter of fact, I know for a fact that one hi s classmates has guns in the house and my child is never setting foot there.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't ask. It wouldn't be received well and would make for awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask. I'd probably say it with a smile, something like "Good luck with these curious little boys! You don't have anything they could get into, do you . . . pools, guns, or poison?" Or you could always just tell a white lie and say "This may seem forward, but I have to ask you if you have any weapons in the house. I have a family member/friend who had an unfortunate accident with a weapon and I need to be sure about this."

If they are offended at you asking a question about your child's safety, do you really want your child under that person's supervision for any length of time?

It's pretty bad to lie about a family member getting shot in order to avoid an uncomfortable question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't ask. It wouldn't be received well and would make for awkwardness.

Cause of death: parent wanted to avoid awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

I've never thought to ask this. Then again, my kids are at the age that they don't go over for unsupervised playdates - I would be there with them. Also, by this point most people have an established group of friends with kids (maybe from all the playdates when the kids were younger) so there really aren't any playdates inside the home with people we don't already know. It could be me, but now that the kids are mobile and older - 4 and 5 - I don't feel comfortable really inviting kids I don't know to my home. I would try to do public meetups - at the park, going to the movies etc. first to see how things go.

I guess my thought is there are so many things out there you can worry about with kids - if I don't feel like I could 100% trust the parent,why am I leaving my child over there? So in my mind, there is no need to ask if you have a gun in your home etc. because I would either know you well enough to have some idea of this or at least feel confident that if you do - you keep it secured, not loaded, not where the children can get it etc. I would feel like if I had to ask about guns, I would need to ask about household cleaning products, knives, children watching inappropriate tv., alcohol etc. In general, you have to feel confident that whatever someone has in their home, they have it where kids can't get to it and/or their kids know better to touch it much less bring their guests/playdate friends to it. And on top of that the parents will check-in on the kids every once if the kids aren't playing where they can see them ... and won't for example think it is okay for all the kids to be in his daughter/son's room with the door close and no idea of what is going on.

[Anonymous]

I work as a nanny and always ask during the interview/job offer stage. I declined one position because they had an unlocked, loaded gun in their closet, according to the mother. She was shocked that I declined and got very pushy and said that I needed to reconsider. The whole thing was strange.

My child is at the age of unsupervised playdates and I have the urge to ask but have not at this point. We've just started playdates within the last year.

[Anonymous]

I work as a nanny and always ask during the interview/job offer stage. I declined one position because they had an unlocked, loaded gun in their closet, according to the mother. She was shocked that I declined and got very pushy and said that I needed to reconsider. The whole thing was strange.

My child is at the age of unsupervised playdates and I have the urge to ask but have not at this point. We've just started playdates within the last year.

There are crazies everywhere. Responsible gun owners who follow proper safety procedures for handling their guns would not be offended by the question because they know the risk for accidents with unsecured guns.

Besides, how hypocritical is it for a gun owner to have a gun for safety reasons, but to get offended when you ask a question for the safety of your family?

I know a law enforcement officer who has small children and keeps his weapon under his pillow. Not exactly secure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask, and would not let my child have a play date in a house with guns. As a matter of fact, I know for a fact that one hi s classmates has guns in the house and my child is never setting foot there.

I wouldn't be offended by the question, but I would be put off by a response like this. Just because there are guns, you assume the parents are too stupid or irresponsible to keep the guns safe? There's probably hundreds of things in a house that could more easily kill or maim a child than a gun that's locked in a safe. I mean, it's locked, in a safe. It's not some crazy voodoo talisman that can kill people just by proximity. I wouldn't really get "offended" because I don't let people I don't know get to me that way, but I'd probably think you were kind of dumb for having the above knee-jerk response.

It's analogous to you not letting another parent pick your kid up with their car because you can't trust that they are a safe driver. At some point you have to realize you aren't the only person in the world that knows how to take care of kids or keep them safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never thought to ask this. Then again, my kids are at the age that they don't go over for unsupervised playdates - I would be there with them. Also, by this point most people have an established group of friends with kids (maybe from all the playdates when the kids were younger) so there really aren't any playdates inside the home with people we don't already know. It could be me, but now that the kids are mobile and older - 4 and 5 - I don't feel comfortable really inviting kids I don't know to my home. I would try to do public meetups - at the park, going to the movies etc. first to see how things go.

I guess my thought is there are so many things out there you can worry about with kids - if I don't feel like I could 100% trust the parent,why am I leaving my child over there? So in my mind, there is no need to ask if you have a gun in your home etc. because I would either know you well enough to have some idea of this or at least feel confident that if you do - you keep it secured, not loaded, not where the children can get it etc. I would feel like if I had to ask about guns, I would need to ask about household cleaning products, knives, children watching inappropriate tv., alcohol etc. In general, you have to feel confident that whatever someone has in their home, they have it where kids can't get to it and/or their kids know better to touch it much less bring their guests/playdate friends to it. And on top of that the parents will check-in on the kids every once if the kids aren't playing where they can see them ... and won't for example think it is okay for all the kids to be in his daughter/son's room with the door close and no idea of what is going on.

I agree 100%

[Anonymous]

I would ask, and if the response was that it is secured in a locked area with the ammo somewhere else, I wouldn't have a problem letting my toddler be there.

When my kid is a teen, I don't know. I don't have a teen so I don't know how much they can be trusted not to get into things like that.

[Anonymous]

To accurately estimate the likelihood of problems with firearms you will want to take into account:

1. How many households have firearms.
2. How many of these households have children.
3. What percentage of #2 store firearm in an unsafe manner.
4. What percentage of #2 every have accidental deployment of the firearm.
5. What percentage of #2 have injury, death or either.

Flat stats like some are quoting aren't appropriate.