Why are DCUMs so mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mean because I am annoyed by incredibly stupid questions and wildly insecure people, and people who brag but pretend they're poor.

When will Covid be over?
Is Florida a nice place to live?
Are there any good gas stations off 95?
Are side parts out of style?
Can I still wear black sweaters?
We only earn 630k per year - will we be able to retire before we're 85?

So it looks like you’re just not a very nice person? Because I think most people get annoyed at many of those comments but not everybody responds with meanness. (Not OP btw)

DP. But what does "mean" mean? If the first poster answers brusquely or matter-of-factly then is that mean, or is it calling names where you slip into the mean category? The names and cursing are the things that get me mad; otherwise, other replies no matter how snarky seem fair game. That may be just me.

[Anonymous]

Because they all went to law school.

[Anonymous]

In my time spent here, I have learned three things:

1. If you aren't married by 30, you never will be.
2. If you're over 120 lbs, you need to lose weight.
3. If you make less than $150K, you're poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my time spent here, I have learned three things:

1. If you aren't married by 30, you never will be.
2. If you're over 120 lbs, you need to lose weight.
3. If you make less than $150K, you're poor.

Plus
4. Teachers are all lazy and want to stay DL forever.
5. You don't live in a 3500 sq ft + house? Yikes that's a teardown.
6. Oh no, your kid is in gen ed vs. AAP in elementary school? Oh no it's hopeless! They are doomed to mediocracy for the rest of their academic careers...
7. Your kid/tween/teen is acting up/didn't do XYZ/talked back to you? You failed as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they all went to law school.

A decision I regret every day. I'm way too nice for this profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my time spent here, I have learned three things:

1. If you aren't married by 30, you never will be.
2. If you're over 120 lbs, you need to lose weight.
3. If you make less than $150K, you're poor.

Plus
4. Teachers are all lazy and want to stay DL forever.
5. You don't live in a 3500 sq ft + house? Yikes that's a teardown.
6. Oh no, your kid is in gen ed vs. AAP in elementary school? Oh no it's hopeless! They are doomed to mediocracy for the rest of their academic careers...
7. Your kid/tween/teen is acting up/didn't do XYZ/talked back to you? You failed as a parent.

Before DCUM, I thought I was a decent person. I never knew how many different inadequacies I had for which I could be judged.

[Anonymous]

Insecurity/self-hatred.

Mentally healthy people see the dumb posts and don't feel compelled to respond. They just move on.

[Anonymous]

It's worth it to wade through a few jerks to get good advice.

Relationships and family are where I notice people being being mean. There are a lot of dysfunctional, train wreck situations on those forums.

[Anonymous]

Idk. I've asked advice here before and the direct posters were more helpful than the "nice" ones in giving me guidance. There is a line between direct and mean, though. Name-calling is mean and not direct, for instance. But I've also seen people say something is mean when I would consider it helpful and direct, often when OP is really only asking for 100% agreement, not actual advice.

[Anonymous]

It easy to be obnoxious because its anonymous. But honestly I have been in other forums where you have to have a user name and people are still snarky. Easy to act that way behind a keyboard. I think generally people are helpful and supportive in serious topics. Its the "Im a SAHM mom and I'm so lonely" threads that get a lot of hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mean because I am annoyed by incredibly stupid questions and wildly insecure people, and people who brag but pretend they're poor.

When will Covid be over?
Is Florida a nice place to live?
Are there any good gas stations off 95?
Are side parts out of style?
Can I still wear black sweaters?
We only earn 630k per year - will we be able to retire before we're 85?

So it looks like you’re just not a very nice person? Because I think most people get annoyed at many of those comments but not everybody responds with meanness. (Not OP btw)

+1 Also not OP.

This PP is an example of someone who is unhappy with their lives so vents by being mean on an anonymous board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mean because I am annoyed by incredibly stupid questions and wildly insecure people, and people who brag but pretend they're poor.

When will Covid be over?
Is Florida a nice place to live?
Are there any good gas stations off 95?
Are side parts out of style?
Can I still wear black sweaters?
We only earn 630k per year - will we be able to retire before we're 85?

I’m kind of ok with this person. It’s DCUM, people. Expect to be told you are a bad parent for having a c section.

Okay, this is a good example. Somebody asked about what people thought of elective C sections and I replied with a summary of some research of the risks and benefits, and people accused me of being a total idiot and asshole and said I was fear mongering. I was actually kind of wrong about an assessment of one of the risks, but it was a mistake that a lot of news articles and actually my OBGYN dad had made too, so I don't think it was fair to call me an idiot for it.

Plus I was not at all suggesting that somebody shouldn't get a c-section. I even said that I got an elective c-section and didn't regret it, so it was totally baffling to me that I was being told I was an asshole and spreading fear and misinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my time spent here, I have learned three things:

1. If you aren't married by 30, you never will be.
2. If you're over 120 lbs, you need to lose weight.
3. If you make less than $150K, you're poor.

Plus
4. Teachers are all lazy and want to stay DL forever.
5. You don't live in a 3500 sq ft + house? Yikes that's a teardown.
6. Oh no, your kid is in gen ed vs. AAP in elementary school? Oh no it's hopeless! They are doomed to mediocracy for the rest of their academic careers...
7. Your kid/tween/teen is acting up/didn't do XYZ/talked back to you? You failed as a parent.

Before DCUM, I thought I was a decent person. I never knew how many different inadequacies I had for which I could be judged.

Right? Apparently we are poor and deficient in every way.

[Anonymous]

Also the mask vs. anti-mask people. Apparently there is no middle ground between people who think masks are communism and people who think you need an N-95 mask to open a window.

News flash: You both are insufferable. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also the mask vs. anti-mask people. Apparently there is no middle ground between people who think masks are communism and people who think you need an N-95 mask to open a window.

News flash: You both are insufferable. Just stop.

Can I add social distancing to the mix? You're a selfish person responsible for thousands of deaths if you let your kids go to the playground with mask on, or you're a fool for cancelling a trip to grandma's for Christmas.