Any other moms feel like throwing in the towel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering today when the whole "rewarding" part is supposed to kick in. My kids are little, 6 and 3, and it makes me feel subhuman to say they're so annoying...but it's true. I hate myself and feel like a horrible mom. And they aren't terrible kids, just run-of-the-mill needy, dramatic, demanding, disrespectful. I'm just so over it.

It's hard for it to feel rewarding when we are being ground to the nub with no respite. My kids are similar ages, 4 and 6, and this year is vastly preferable to last year. My 6 year old has settled a bit into virtual school. My 4 year old has gotten over tantruming over every little thing. But it's still HARD. It's a grind! I hate feeling dread when I see them, vice feeling excited or happy. But I am with them ALL day every day with no end in sight. It's very hard.

There is no time to carve out "me time". I'm desperate for these kids to be in the care of another adult. Hybrid school may start soon and we are thinking of sending the 4 year old back to pre-k. Grandma is almost fully vaccinated so that is helping the decision making! She does help us, but we are still limited because of protecting her.

[Anonymous]

I have been there. Exercise helps me. Also, getting outside by myself for a walk or run. Is that an option?

Do visual schedules help them? It helps to give warnings too. In 10 minutes you will need to start class. Then 5 minutes until class. If you need to use the bathroom go now. Then praise them anytime they transition well. You might also set up a behavior chart and reward good transitions. I would reward every good transition at first and then increase the bar, but don't punish bad transitions. Good luck! One of mine used to be poor with transitions at school, but with these strategies it improves and then it became a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering today when the whole "rewarding" part is supposed to kick in. My kids are little, 6 and 3, and it makes me feel subhuman to say they're so annoying...but it's true. I hate myself and feel like a horrible mom. And they aren't terrible kids, just run-of-the-mill needy, dramatic, demanding, disrespectful. I'm just so over it.

The “rewarding” part is a myth perpetuated by other parents to justify their life choices to themselves. When our kids are grown, we will do it too, partly because we will want grandchildren, and partly because we don’t want our kids to know how much they sucked and feel bad about themselves.

Don’t feel bad.

This is a sad attitude. I’ve found my kids rewarding at every age! Perhaps because I have help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we have some help with childcare, and I still feel like you. Lately, I've been fantasizing about someday going on a business trip again, because...wait for it...my fantasy is having just one single day when I don't have to wash a dish, prepare a meal for someone else (invariably with at least one complaint, even if it's just about the temperature of the food or the plate I served it on), or clean up someone else's mess.

You need to scold your kids for their crappy attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childfree sister makes fun of me whenever I complain about my kids. My husband also reminds me that I was the one who pushed for them when I want him to take on more of the work.

That sucks, PP. It's really frustrating to not get your feelings validated by your loved ones -- for me it makes it all feel so much worse. Your husband and sister sound like jerks.

FWIW, I think you have every right to complain. Kids are a pain! I love mine and am glad I had them, but they still wear on my last nerve on a regular basis. I consider complaining about them privately to my loved ones my God-given right (and also think that complaining to my husband or a close family member of friend keeps me from complaining directly to my kids, which I think would be bad for their self-image). Hugs to you.

No, it doesn’t suck, it’s the truth.

You wanted them, you pushed for them - and, they suck. How could you NOT have known this?

Nope, you don’t get to complain.

The same way someone could tell you law school or med school or climbing Mt. Everest or running a marathon are hard, but only when you've done one of these yourself do you realize how truly challenging it is. Pretty sure you'd listen to someone complain about how hard any of those thing are. Why is parenting the one experience people should fully comprehend before they've, you know, actually done it?

The pathetic part is the "I consider...my God-given right" part. Gross. Just be aware that your loved ones, after the 500th time of you bitching about the kids yoiu wanted and actively pursued having, is no longer required to consider it their God-given duty to listen to your endless whining about your own choices.