Child refusing to participate in virtual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are allowing the child to choose doing other things vs. school. Sit down and help with the assignments and not allow it to be an option.

I do this. It’s not working. Do you currently have a five year old?

I have one too (well, just turned 6 but in K), and am having a similar experience. Fall was ok but January has been a downhill slide. We've been trying to make him attend every class and do every assignment, but can't sit next to him and redirect and threaten consequences all day, which is what he needs at this point. We are running out of reward ideas, it's the month after Christmas and it's a pandemic so we cant go a lot of places or see a lot of people.

I have no ideas for you, OP, but we are very much not hearing things like "just skip assignments" or "leave after morning meeting" as being acceptable from our school. We skipped ONE math app activity because the app was down the week it was assigned and we were too busy fighting over the next week's work to do makeup, and he apparently completely ignored his art teacher's instructions yesterday to draw Transformers instead, which I'm not even sure is worth forcing. So much of this feels like it's more about compliance than learning.

Our district is planning to start hybrid Feb 16, and we're debating whether to keep him signed up because even 2 days a week in person would probably help, vs move him to DL because we are nowhere near the metrics from Aug-Oct and the teacher's association came out against it. It sucks so much that this falls on parents to try to be ethical for their own kids and the community at once when the school system is making such arbitrary seeming decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are allowing the child to choose doing other things vs. school. Sit down and help with the assignments and not allow it to be an option.

I do this. It’s not working. Do you currently have a five year old?

I have one too (well, just turned 6 but in K), and am having a similar experience. Fall was ok but January has been a downhill slide. We've been trying to make him attend every class and do every assignment, but can't sit next to him and redirect and threaten consequences all day, which is what he needs at this point. We are running out of reward ideas, it's the month after Christmas and it's a pandemic so we cant go a lot of places or see a lot of people.

I have no ideas for you, OP, but we are very much not hearing things like "just skip assignments" or "leave after morning meeting" as being acceptable from our school. We skipped ONE math app activity because the app was down the week it was assigned and we were too busy fighting over the next week's work to do makeup, and he apparently completely ignored his art teacher's instructions yesterday to draw Transformers instead, which I'm not even sure is worth forcing. So much of this feels like it's more about compliance than learning.

Our district is planning to start hybrid Feb 16, and we're debating whether to keep him signed up because even 2 days a week in person would probably help, vs move him to DL because we are nowhere near the metrics from Aug-Oct and the teacher's association came out against it. It sucks so much that this falls on parents to try to be ethical for their own kids and the community at once when the school system is making such arbitrary seeming decisions.

This sums it up so well. DL isn’t working for this age group at all, but this seems like the worst possible time to reopen. I’m so frustrated that they could not find a way to do *some* in person school in the fall, when cases were low, which I think would make it easier to keep the kids home now. Plus they could have figured out some things about logistics. I’ve been advocating for some form of outdoor school (with masks) since last summer, but there is no will to make this happen. It doesn’t help of course that Trump and Congress refused to allocate funds to schools to help make it happen.

It’s an awful situation. I was reading an argument from a teachers advocate yesterday saying it’s not fair to heap all the risk of this situation on teachers, and I agree with that. But they were also saying that instead of in person school , we should be looking for ways to improve DL, to provide mental health services to families, even money to parents who are supervising DL to compensate due list wages and time. The problem is that NONE of that is happening. So while I think it’s unfair to shift the burden onto teachers who feel it is not safe, it is also unfair that families have carried the burden on their own this entire time. I still can’t believe what working parents have been asked to perform over the last year. I feel broken. I’m not trying to put teachers in danger. But I need help, and it’s not coming.

[Anonymous]

It really doesn't matter, as long as your kid is getting used to trying to read. EVERYONE is going to be behind in some way. The kid reading on a 2nd grade level will have atrocious social skills. The kid who has great social skills will barely be able to read. Everyone will need to catch up in some way.

Just let it go. This is a pandemic. If you come out of it alive and sane, you won.

[Anonymous]

Homeschool. I have a K child thriving. If you work, you can still find 60-90 minutes in your day to do it. K is quite easy (I have several kids on four different grade levels and k is the easiest and quickest). Young children deserve better than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with these posters. It's school, and it's not optional. Rewards, punishments (hopefully not so she doesn't see school as a chore), whatever it takes. yes, it SUCKS, but it'll be a life lesson for them all.
- mom of wild 1st and 4th grade boys forcing them to learn however is available

Except it's not school. Particularly when we're talking about a kindergarten class.

The teachers are literally phoning it in. Schools are giving you 50% grades for simply breathing, even if you plagiarize your work or don't bother doing it. There's no reason to take this seriously.

I really don't understand why anyone would subject a kindergartener to this. You can get a kindergarten waiver if you send them to daycare. Or just say you're homeschooling.

Our teachers are actually very good and engaged.

Teacher quality is not the issue. Stop pretending that distance learning as a concept is anything more than the disaster it is.

I’m not pretending anything. I am the OP though and I find your entire approach really negative and dismissive. The situation is messed up, our teachers are not the problem.

DP. You're right- the teacher isn't the problem. It's the virtual model that's a problem. It's not effective for young kids. The teacher being great doesn't change that. And you seem to be starting to see that with your daughter.

You can try to force the issue, but that just seems cruel.[/quote
This is the crux of it here. Teachers are working harder than ever but are doomed to failure because DL doesn’t work for young kids at least. It is cruel to teachers to ask them to keep working so hard at something that will never work. And cruel to kids, because it teaches them that school is boring and hard, and cruel to parents (esp working moms) because we are expected to pretend this is working when it isn’t.

- ES teacher and parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homeschool. I have a K child thriving. If you work, you can still find 60-90 minutes in your day to do it. K is quite easy (I have several kids on four different grade levels and k is the easiest and quickest). Young children deserve better than this.

I’m glad for you. It’s something I would do, but we don’t have a parental consensus. Private is not an option either. (We aren’t $$$).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homeschool. I have a K child thriving. If you work, you can still find 60-90 minutes in your day to do it. K is quite easy (I have several kids on four different grade levels and k is the easiest and quickest). Young children deserve better than this.

I’m glad for you. It’s something I would do, but we don’t have a parental consensus. Private is not an option either. (We aren’t $$$).

If the spouse isn't helping with virtual learing, then they don't have a say in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homeschool. I have a K child thriving. If you work, you can still find 60-90 minutes in your day to do it. K is quite easy (I have several kids on four different grade levels and k is the easiest and quickest). Young children deserve better than this.

I’m glad for you. It’s something I would do, but we don’t have a parental consensus. Private is not an option either. (We aren’t $$$).

If the spouse isn't helping with virtual learing, then they don't have a say in it.

I appreciate his point of view. He’s a good parent and kind partner. We’ll continue to try to find middle ground. I am thankful for everyone’s response. It helps me evaluate what’s going on and where we can leave room for tough days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with these posters. It's school, and it's not optional. Rewards, punishments (hopefully not so she doesn't see school as a chore), whatever it takes. yes, it SUCKS, but it'll be a life lesson for them all.
- mom of wild 1st and 4th grade boys forcing them to learn however is available

Sitting at a computer and staring at a screen is not school. It’s bullshit and totally developmentally inappropriate for young children. Log in for 5 minutes and then go about your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are allowing the child to choose doing other things vs. school. Sit down and help with the assignments and not allow it to be an option.

I do this. It’s not working. Do you currently have a five year old?

I have one too (well, just turned 6 but in K), and am having a similar experience. Fall was ok but January has been a downhill slide. We've been trying to make him attend every class and do every assignment, but can't sit next to him and redirect and threaten consequences all day, which is what he needs at this point. We are running out of reward ideas, it's the month after Christmas and it's a pandemic so we cant go a lot of places or see a lot of people.

I have no ideas for you, OP, but we are very much not hearing things like "just skip assignments" or "leave after morning meeting" as being acceptable from our school. We skipped ONE math app activity because the app was down the week it was assigned and we were too busy fighting over the next week's work to do makeup, and he apparently completely ignored his art teacher's instructions yesterday to draw Transformers instead, which I'm not even sure is worth forcing. So much of this feels like it's more about compliance than learning.

Our district is planning to start hybrid Feb 16, and we're debating whether to keep him signed up because even 2 days a week in person would probably help, vs move him to DL because we are nowhere near the metrics from Aug-Oct and the teacher's association came out against it. It sucks so much that this falls on parents to try to be ethical for their own kids and the community at once when the school system is making such arbitrary seeming decisions.

This sums it up so well. DL isn’t working for this age group at all, but this seems like the worst possible time to reopen. I’m so frustrated that they could not find a way to do *some* in person school in the fall, when cases were low, which I think would make it easier to keep the kids home now. Plus they could have figured out some things about logistics. I’ve been advocating for some form of outdoor school (with masks) since last summer, but there is no will to make this happen. It doesn’t help of course that Trump and Congress refused to allocate funds to schools to help make it happen.

It’s an awful situation. I was reading an argument from a teachers advocate yesterday saying it’s not fair to heap all the risk of this situation on teachers, and I agree with that. But they were also saying that instead of in person school , we should be looking for ways to improve DL, to provide mental health services to families, even money to parents who are supervising DL to compensate due list wages and time. The problem is that NONE of that is happening. So while I think it’s unfair to shift the burden onto teachers who feel it is not safe, it is also unfair that families have carried the burden on their own this entire time. I still can’t believe what working parents have been asked to perform over the last year. I feel broken. I’m not trying to put teachers in danger. But I need help, and it’s not coming.

Our private school has been open all year. Not a single case reported. The issue is most certainly the teachers and the union.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with these posters. It's school, and it's not optional. Rewards, punishments (hopefully not so she doesn't see school as a chore), whatever it takes. yes, it SUCKS, but it'll be a life lesson for them all.
- mom of wild 1st and 4th grade boys forcing them to learn however is available

Except it's not school. Particularly when we're talking about a kindergarten class.

The teachers are literally phoning it in. Schools are giving you 50% grades for simply breathing, even if you plagiarize your work or don't bother doing it. There's no reason to take this seriously.

I really don't understand why anyone would subject a kindergartener to this. You can get a kindergarten waiver if you send them to daycare. Or just say you're homeschooling.

Why are they doing this? It is because people like the OP don't take it seriously. If he can't sit still for very long, fine. But he should be doing some of the work. You can do it evenings and weekends. That's when my kids do most of their work so I can supervise. Their teachers are happy to accept the work any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are allowing the child to choose doing other things vs. school. Sit down and help with the assignments and not allow it to be an option.

I do this. It’s not working. Do you currently have a five year old?

I have one too (well, just turned 6 but in K), and am having a similar experience. Fall was ok but January has been a downhill slide. We've been trying to make him attend every class and do every assignment, but can't sit next to him and redirect and threaten consequences all day, which is what he needs at this point. We are running out of reward ideas, it's the month after Christmas and it's a pandemic so we cant go a lot of places or see a lot of people.

I have no ideas for you, OP, but we are very much not hearing things like "just skip assignments" or "leave after morning meeting" as being acceptable from our school. We skipped ONE math app activity because the app was down the week it was assigned and we were too busy fighting over the next week's work to do makeup, and he apparently completely ignored his art teacher's instructions yesterday to draw Transformers instead, which I'm not even sure is worth forcing. So much of this feels like it's more about compliance than learning.

Our district is planning to start hybrid Feb 16, and we're debating whether to keep him signed up because even 2 days a week in person would probably help, vs move him to DL because we are nowhere near the metrics from Aug-Oct and the teacher's association came out against it. It sucks so much that this falls on parents to try to be ethical for their own kids and the community at once when the school system is making such arbitrary seeming decisions.

This sums it up so well. DL isn’t working for this age group at all, but this seems like the worst possible time to reopen. I’m so frustrated that they could not find a way to do *some* in person school in the fall, when cases were low, which I think would make it easier to keep the kids home now. Plus they could have figured out some things about logistics. I’ve been advocating for some form of outdoor school (with masks) since last summer, but there is no will to make this happen. It doesn’t help of course that Trump and Congress refused to allocate funds to schools to help make it happen.

It’s an awful situation. I was reading an argument from a teachers advocate yesterday saying it’s not fair to heap all the risk of this situation on teachers, and I agree with that. But they were also saying that instead of in person school , we should be looking for ways to improve DL, to provide mental health services to families, even money to parents who are supervising DL to compensate due list wages and time. The problem is that NONE of that is happening. So while I think it’s unfair to shift the burden onto teachers who feel it is not safe, it is also unfair that families have carried the burden on their own this entire time. I still can’t believe what working parents have been asked to perform over the last year. I feel broken. I’m not trying to put teachers in danger. But I need help, and it’s not coming.

Our private school has been open all year. Not a single case reported. The issue is most certainly the teachers and the union.

With no weekly testing, easy to say that and pretend.

[Anonymous]

Online school s beyond stupid, when done like this, forcing kids to sit at the laptop for hours. I would quite it too. Now, Laurel Springs of something similar is way better.

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter in my kid's K class? She was super engaged in the fall but recently has been 100% over it... and even as a parent half listening while doing my own work I can tell the difference.

I agree with the posters who say to log in and then let it go. It's really not worth the fight to try to make her pay attention when the instruction is crawling along between tech issues and she already knows all the things being covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with these posters. It's school, and it's not optional. Rewards, punishments (hopefully not so she doesn't see school as a chore), whatever it takes. yes, it SUCKS, but it'll be a life lesson for them all.
- mom of wild 1st and 4th grade boys forcing them to learn however is available

Except it's not school. Particularly when we're talking about a kindergarten class.

The teachers are literally phoning it in. Schools are giving you 50% grades for simply breathing, even if you plagiarize your work or don't bother doing it. There's no reason to take this seriously.

I really don't understand why anyone would subject a kindergartener to this. You can get a kindergarten waiver if you send them to daycare. Or just say you're homeschooling.

Why are they doing this? It is because people like the OP don't take it seriously. If he can't sit still for very long, fine. But he should be doing some of the work. You can do it evenings and weekends. That's when my kids do most of their work so I can supervise. Their teachers are happy to accept the work any time.

It's kindergarten. It's not that serious. Also, my son has had various assignments that I know he did disappear when he tries to submit on Seesaw. If you want to see an otherwise enthusiastic 6 year old go into meltdown, having his assignment disappear after spending 10 minutes getting it just right is a good way to do it.