"call of the void" phenomenon/sudden fear of driving over bridges - how do you talk yourself down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get this, and always have since I was a child. I also get vertigo and am afraid of heights, but going over bridges is a whole other level of fear. I didn't realize there was a name for it. I do a couple things to help. I drive in the left hand lane if there is one, so that I am farthest from the edge (though if the traffic is moving fast I don't - driving fast makes me even more panicky). I keep my eyes on the road ahead, not the sky or bridge. If my DH is with me he puts his hand on my leg, just comfortingly being there. And then I just tell my brain to behave itself and stop feeding me bullsh&t. Because it IS BS. I don't have a death wish, and I am not going to drive off the bridge. But chanting "I'm not going to drive off the bridge" just reinforces the idea of it, so I tell myself ONCE to quit thinking about it, and then I think about something else - the line in the road, the song on the radio, etc. I focus very intentionally on that. I still am very nervous and hate it, but I get through it.

I also hate ski lifts, roller coasters, and cliffs.

+1 to all of this. For me, it really amped up during childhood when my mom was having serious mental health issues and I was afraid she would decide to take us both out. It has lessened somewhat since I had my own child. I try to focus on whatever is on npr during bridge crossings.

OP again: Oh gosh - I am sorry you went through that. I was listening to NPR when it started - and I think it's part of what triggered it actually. It was a Radiolab episode about mental loops, and I think it almost hypnotized me into my own disturbing mental loop. I turned it off when I realized what was happening but - ugh. I need a brain cleanse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens to me too! I hate driving the Bay Bridge and usually make my DH do it. I'm generally afraid of heights as well, and anxious about a lot.

My dad had the bridges / heights thing as well.

+1 The Bay Bridge!

I also cannot drive on the right lane closest to the Bay on the Golden Gate Bridge. When I see people looking out over the railing, I actually feel nauseous and my palms get sweaty, for fear they are going to fall over.

And yes I am a woman.

[Anonymous]

I get this. I do what PP said—get in left most lane, focus on yellow line and car in front of me, remember to breathe. It’s over quickly. It’s better now that I anticipate it so I don’t get that sudden stomach drop sensation when I see the drop. The bridges that curve so it looks like you’re about to drive off the edge are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have had this happen traveling over the Susquehanna River in PA to visit family. I've been driving the same route for decades and never had an issue. It's a wide bridge, two lanes each way and huge shoulders. A couple of years ago, I had a feeling that I was going to be pulled over the side of the bridge as I was driving across -- not due to wind or anything-- just a weird internal feeling. It was very unsettling. On the return trip, I put on a song and sang it the entire way over. I have to say that the next few trips, I took a different route that involved shorter/different bridges. No issue there or with Potomac River ones. Last few pre-covid trips were fine. No explanation.

Same thing happened to me on this bridge and I also took the alternate root several times. I had to force myself to get back on the road eventually so it didn’t become a problem. Listening to music and chewing gum or something crunchy helped.

Oddly enough, a friend described similar, sudden onset bridge anxiety going over the Susquehanna, but on 95 - the Tydings bridge. He'd been going over it for YEARS without issue but was in his wife's higher vehicle (she had an SUV, he'd always driven a sedan). All of the sudden he saw more of the "void" then ever before and nearly had a panic attack. I think it still freaks him out even back in his own car.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal

[Anonymous]

It's not an anxiety, but a fear. Do you have children OP? Your brain may be overrationalizing due to this fear and hence the call of void. Whatever you do, do not avoid it! If you do, it will become a bigger fear and turn into anxiety. It's your brain messing with you and once you get comfortable enough, it goes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bay Bridge?

Not OP, but I hate the Bay Bridge. And there is a bridge though Jacksonville, FL that gave me PTSD... and unfortunately, I was driving with DH in the passenger seat and the kids in back. I had no idea it was coming. At least with the Bay Bridge, DH drives b/c we know when we are going over it.

I am fine driving over your average bridge, but the ones that are really high or very steep freak me out terribly. I would never buy a house in OC or that side of the Bay Bridge. And I would never go over that Jacksonville bridge again if I can help it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get this, and always have since I was a child. I also get vertigo and am afraid of heights, but going over bridges is a whole other level of fear. I didn't realize there was a name for it. I do a couple things to help. I drive in the left hand lane if there is one, so that I am farthest from the edge (though if the traffic is moving fast I don't - driving fast makes me even more panicky). I keep my eyes on the road ahead, not the sky or bridge. If my DH is with me he puts his hand on my leg, just comfortingly being there. And then I just tell my brain to behave itself and stop feeding me bullsh&t. Because it IS BS. I don't have a death wish, and I am not going to drive off the bridge. But chanting "I'm not going to drive off the bridge" just reinforces the idea of it, so I tell myself ONCE to quit thinking about it, and then I think about something else - the line in the road, the song on the radio, etc. I focus very intentionally on that. I still am very nervous and hate it, but I get through it.

I also hate ski lifts, roller coasters, and cliffs.

+1 to all of this. For me, it really amped up during childhood when my mom was having serious mental health issues and I was afraid she would decide to take us both out. It has lessened somewhat since I had my own child. I try to focus on whatever is on npr during bridge crossings.

OP again: Oh gosh - I am sorry you went through that. I was listening to NPR when it started - and I think it's part of what triggered it actually. It was a Radiolab episode about mental loops, and I think it almost hypnotized me into my own disturbing mental loop. I turned it off when I realized what was happening but - ugh. I need a brain cleanse.

In that case, I might try listening to music your like or a soothing audiobook at home under calm circumstances and focus on the nice calm feeling. Put on the same thing and drive back and forth across the bridge a few times to create a new association (while also using some of the mitigation techniques suggested (drive on inside, low traffic time).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bay Bridge?

Not OP, but I hate the Bay Bridge. And there is a bridge though Jacksonville, FL that gave me PTSD... and unfortunately, I was driving with DH in the passenger seat and the kids in back. I had no idea it was coming. At least with the Bay Bridge, DH drives b/c we know when we are going over it.

I am fine driving over your average bridge, but the ones that are really high or very steep freak me out terribly. I would never buy a house in OC or that side of the Bay Bridge. And I would never go over that Jacksonville bridge again if I can help it.

This is OP - it was the Sunshine Skyway



I guess I should have said in my original post: one of my neighbor's husbands died of suicide on the bridge. He didn't jump, he used a gun, but I now associate it with that. I think the association is my brain clinging to anxiety as much as anything, but it was one of the images that I couldn't get out of my head as I was driving over it.

I made myself watch a video of someone driving over the bridge today, and the bridge itself only took about two minutes to get over. I think if I can get myself used to the idea I just have to keep my sh*t together for two minutes, that could help. Maybe I need to find a two minute song to sing to myself...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get this, and always have since I was a child. I also get vertigo and am afraid of heights, but going over bridges is a whole other level of fear. I didn't realize there was a name for it. I do a couple things to help. I drive in the left hand lane if there is one, so that I am farthest from the edge (though if the traffic is moving fast I don't - driving fast makes me even more panicky). I keep my eyes on the road ahead, not the sky or bridge. If my DH is with me he puts his hand on my leg, just comfortingly being there. And then I just tell my brain to behave itself and stop feeding me bullsh&t. Because it IS BS. I don't have a death wish, and I am not going to drive off the bridge. But chanting "I'm not going to drive off the bridge" just reinforces the idea of it, so I tell myself ONCE to quit thinking about it, and then I think about something else - the line in the road, the song on the radio, etc. I focus very intentionally on that. I still am very nervous and hate it, but I get through it.

I also hate ski lifts, roller coasters, and cliffs.

+1 to all of this. For me, it really amped up during childhood when my mom was having serious mental health issues and I was afraid she would decide to take us both out. It has lessened somewhat since I had my own child. I try to focus on whatever is on npr during bridge crossings.

OP again: Oh gosh - I am sorry you went through that. I was listening to NPR when it started - and I think it's part of what triggered it actually. It was a Radiolab episode about mental loops, and I think it almost hypnotized me into my own disturbing mental loop. I turned it off when I realized what was happening but - ugh. I need a brain cleanse.

In that case, I might try listening to music your like or a soothing audiobook at home under calm circumstances and focus on the nice calm feeling. Put on the same thing and drive back and forth across the bridge a few times to create a new association (while also using some of the mitigation techniques suggested (drive on inside, low traffic time).

That's a good idea.

[Anonymous]

I have panic attacks that seem to be tied to agoraphobia - the fear of not being able to escape a situation (driving over a bridge is one of them) and that I will either do something to embarrass myself or injure myself (i.e like driving off the bridge). Coping strategies are key.

I have heard it said to sing the ABC’s and then recite them backwards. Another is to out loud, name something around you for each of your senses: I can SEE other cars, I can HEAR the song on the radio (name the song), I can FEEL the hum of the car, I can SMELL the stinky truck up ahead, or my Channel No. 5 perfume, etc. You get the idea. The thought behind these strategies is that they force your brain to think about them instead of the panic which trips up the horrible thoughts you are having because you can’t think about both at the same time and speaking out loud can calm your breathing. Whatever you choose, make it a game that interests your brain so that it is more likely to engage.

Also, I’ve had to pull over before and breathe into a paper bag to calm the vertigo which stems from irregular breathing. In our current times you can just pop a face mask on and not look weird at all while settling down your breathing!

[Anonymous]

I have problems with intrusive thoughts and I’ve discovered talking about it helps. I tend to talk to my DH, but maybe an online forum also works? It’s one of those things where being able to name it and recognize it for what it is, an intrusive thought, greatly diminishes its power.

[Anonymous]

This is why I refuse to stand on balconies. It would take some effort to deliberately drive over a bridge designed to hold cars in. But a quick brain misfiring the wrong signal to your limbs while you're just enjoying a cool beer on a summer's eve, and a six-floor swan dive you go. Horrifying to ponder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens to me too! I hate driving the Bay Bridge and usually make my DH do it. I'm generally afraid of heights as well, and anxious about a lot.

My dad had the bridges / heights thing as well.

+1 The Bay Bridge!

I also cannot drive on the right lane closest to the Bay on the Golden Gate Bridge. When I see people looking out over the railing, I actually feel nauseous and my palms get sweaty, for fear they are going to fall over.

And yes I am a woman.

Yep. It's fairly common with the Bay Bridge. https://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2013/07/08/gephyrophobia-is-common-in-maryland-thanks-to-the-bay-bridge/. I can't drive over it any more. I used to be able to but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. My parents grew up on the Eastern Shore and we would go over the bridge all the time growing up. I had no problems driving over it until I hit about 40ish. I'm on Lexapro now for generalized anxiety and it does seem to help but I still can't drive over this bridge. I'm ok with most other bridges just not the Bay Bridge.

[Anonymous]

Definitely have this feeling on the Chesapeake bridge. It’s a scary bridge and the rail is very low!!