6th grader has started asking about the calories in everything

[Anonymous]

Dear god watch her like a hawk and be prepared to intervene FAST if you see any signs of an Eating Disorder! https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/what-are-eating-disorders/

[Anonymous]

The PP on the first page talking about the latest research on eating disorders is exactly right.

And big no to the PP saying that girls control food as a coping mechanism. Do you believe refrigerator mothers cause autism? Both are super outdated and super wrong.

The fact that she wanted to restrict the chicken because she was concerned about eating too many calories is a huge red flag. As an athlete, she needs to eat a lot and eat to satisfy her hunger. Same for her age as she goes through puberty.

F.E.A.S.T. is an excellent resource. If you meet with a dietician, look for one who follows HAES. Many quietly have eating disorders themselves, so you need to be careful. I like Potomac Behavioral Services, but they don’t take insurance.

[Anonymous]

I agree that we need to be on the lookout for unhealthy relationships to food and emerging eating disorders. However, inappropriately large portions and unhealthy servings are pervasive. Knowing about calories is useful. Trying to redirect an interest in calories, as if numbers should be taboo, with vague woohoo or dumbing down sounds exceedingly creepy to me. Also disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She did recently learn about this in school so when the first pp said this it resonated with me. Maybe counting calories isn't the correct expression, but she likes to know how many calories are in something before she eats it. She reads the food labels and will comment that she doesn't want to eat something because it has "too many calories." I don't think she is only trying to limit herself to eat a certain number of calories. It caught attention when I made pasta with chicken and broccoli and she didn't want to eat the chicken, which is unusual for her. I didn't point out that the pasta with parmesan was less healthy than the grilled chicken, but that's what I was thinking.

The relationship between food and girls can be so complicated and I don't want to have something that I do or do not do contribute to any issues. She's a comp soccer player and she's growing so I tell her these things will make her hungrier. I also tell her to eat some kind of fruit or vegetable with every meal and I talk about the vitamins in foods, too.

I’m confused. Why can’t you tell her the pasta is a less healthful choice?

I can tell her. I was noting it for myself thinking if it's a one-off, it's not a big deal, but making a mental note in case it's not.

[Anonymous]

Is she in MCPS? I don’t know about other school systems but mcps has sort of a dumb unit on healthy eating choices that over-emphasizes calories and seems to teach fats are bad. My kid (who admittedly sometimes has trouble seeing nuance) was suddenly obsessing about calories after that health unit. I was pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she in MCPS? I don’t know about other school systems but mcps has sort of a dumb unit on healthy eating choices that over-emphasizes calories and seems to teach fats are bad. My kid (who admittedly sometimes has trouble seeing nuance) was suddenly obsessing about calories after that health unit. I was pissed.

She’s not but she also studied something similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she in MCPS? I don’t know about other school systems but mcps has sort of a dumb unit on healthy eating choices that over-emphasizes calories and seems to teach fats are bad. My kid (who admittedly sometimes has trouble seeing nuance) was suddenly obsessing about calories after that health unit. I was pissed.

My kid too. We had a long talk about its a combination of fat, carbs and sugar and its not as cut and dry as MCPS made it sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP on the first page talking about the latest research on eating disorders is exactly right.

And big no to the PP saying that girls control food as a coping mechanism. Do you believe refrigerator mothers cause autism? Both are super outdated and super wrong.

The fact that she wanted to restrict the chicken because she was concerned about eating too many calories is a huge red flag. As an athlete, she needs to eat a lot and eat to satisfy her hunger. Same for her age as she goes through puberty.

F.E.A.S.T. is an excellent resource. If you meet with a dietician, look for one who follows HAES. Many quietly have eating disorders themselves, so you need to be careful. I like Potomac Behavioral Services, but they don’t take insurance.

DP. The PP is off track. Here is what the Mayo Clinic has to say about it.

Most eating disorders involve focusing too much on your weight, body shape and food, leading to dangerous eating behaviors. These behaviors can significantly impact your body's ability to get appropriate nutrition. Eating disorders can harm the heart, digestive system, bones, and teeth and mouth, and lead to other diseases.

People with anorexia place a high value on controlling their weight and shape, using extreme efforts that tend to significantly interfere with their lives.

People with anorexia use extreme efforts to control their weight and shape, which often significantly interferes with their health and life activities.

If you have bulimia, you're probably preoccupied with your weight and body shape, and may judge yourself severely and harshly for your self-perceived flaws. You may be at a normal weight or even a bit overweight.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eating-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20353603

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anorexia-nervosa/symptoms-causes/syc-20353591

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that we need to be on the lookout for unhealthy relationships to food and emerging eating disorders. However, inappropriately large portions and unhealthy servings are pervasive. Knowing about calories is useful. Trying to redirect an interest in calories, as if numbers should be taboo, with vague woohoo or dumbing down sounds exceedingly creepy to me. Also disrespectful.

Agree. I think in a perfect would everyone would be good intuitive eaters. The problem is, very few people grow into adults that are good intuitive eaters, despite how you ate as a child. Tons of thin kids/teens go on to be overweight in adult years. It isn't a bad thing to be aware of calories, not the number, but the density, and what a portion size is. Just about every adult that is a healthy weight has to practice some form of discipline and restriction with food. Not unhealthy restriction, but making good choices and not over indulging in high calorie foods.

[Anonymous]

Is she typically anxious? A perfectionist? Have you noticed anything that would make you think she’s developing an eating disorder?

I speak from experience. I never thought about calories and I was also a DI athlete. A sexual assault my freshman year triggered memories of being molested as a child and that’s when I developed my eating disorder.

My experience might not be relevant but I don’t think that you need to worry about your daughter unless you have a gut instinct or some actual evidence that she is developing an unhealthy relationship with food.

And this is probably semantics, but it’s true that a calorie isn’t a calorie - everyone metabolizes foods differently and there are a lot of factors that contribute (genetics and intestinal bacteria for two).

This was a pretty interesting article:

https://www.economist.com/1843/2019/02/28/death-of-the-calorie

And this is a pretty good book at debunking myths about food and calories:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WSSYZK2/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

[Anonymous]

FCPS also has an extremely dated and unhealthy approach to teaching nutrition. Last year when my daughters were in 5th grade the P.E. teacher covered calories. Earlier years covered "bad" and "good" foods (labeling ice cream as "bad" and telling my daughters they only needed 1000 calories per day, even though both are competitive athletes who train for 2+ hours most days of the week).

I told my daughters that FCPS has a messed up idea of what constitutes healthy eating and that in our family we listen to our bodies to figure out when we are hungry and full. We do not focus on calories or fat content, because then you are taking yourself out of how you are feeling and can end up feeling alienated from your appetite. No food is "good" or "bad" - you have to eat protein and vegetables, but there is also a place for daily treats. Abstaining from treats or outlawing sugar or butter is not healthy or balanced.

And lest anyone ask, I am normal weight (130 lbs.) and recovered from an eating disorder in high school and college. I am firmly against counting calories, ever.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has started asking/commenting on the calories in food. I talk about eating healthy with my kids in terms of eating balanced and nutritional foods, but I don't talk about calories and I'm not sure it's good for my six grader to be trying to count calories.

How do you talk about food, calories, and promote healthy eating with your kids? If you have a high schooler or young adult, is there anything that you are glad you did or wish you had done differently?

Mine did that for a couple weeks, but it was because they were learning about it at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FCPS also has an extremely dated and unhealthy approach to teaching nutrition. Last year when my daughters were in 5th grade the P.E. teacher covered calories. Earlier years covered "bad" and "good" foods (labeling ice cream as "bad" and telling my daughters they only needed 1000 calories per day, even though both are competitive athletes who train for 2+ hours most days of the week).

I told my daughters that FCPS has a messed up idea of what constitutes healthy eating and that in our family we listen to our bodies to figure out when we are hungry and full. We do not focus on calories or fat content, because then you are taking yourself out of how you are feeling and can end up feeling alienated from your appetite. No food is "good" or "bad" - you have to eat protein and vegetables, but there is also a place for daily treats. Abstaining from treats or outlawing sugar or butter is not healthy or balanced.

And lest anyone ask, I am normal weight (130 lbs.) and recovered from an eating disorder in high school and college. I am firmly against counting calories, ever.

How can a 10 year old only have 1,000 calories they should at least have 2k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that we need to be on the lookout for unhealthy relationships to food and emerging eating disorders. However, inappropriately large portions and unhealthy servings are pervasive. Knowing about calories is useful. Trying to redirect an interest in calories, as if numbers should be taboo, with vague woohoo or dumbing down sounds exceedingly creepy to me. Also disrespectful.

I agree with this. And I was a bulimic teenager. Counting or being aware of calories isn’t necessarily a slippery slope to an eating disorder. There are other factors at play. Teaching about reasonable serving sizes and energy values of different types of foods can serve everyone well in the long run.