Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?

[Anonymous]

No - I wouldn’t say anything about a stranger. That’s life.
If it was a friend I would jokingly do the ear muffs thing from Old School.

[Anonymous]

I still have a strong memory of something similar on the metro over 10 years ago. A dad and his little kid (probably also around 4 or 5) were sitting together and two teenage boys got on and sat behind them. They were loudly conversing, using a lot profanity, not to be provocative, but clearly just part of their normal interaction. The dad waited until close to when he was going to get off, turned to them nicely and said something like "You know, my son really looks up to teenagers like you. He was really excited when you got on the train and sat by us. He listens to every word you say. Just something to think about when you choose your language in front of little ears." The boys sat up a little straighter and ended up having a nice little exchange with the dad and son. No one was shamed, and it was a nice little interaction to witness.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes get up and move, while giving the offender a death stare. If I'm not able to move, I absolutely say something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the office staff quietly. I never engage loud, crazy people but I’ve definitely asked those in charge for help.

OP gave no indication that the guy was either loud or crazy.

True but sometimes people snap when confronted. Personally I wouldn’t risk getting into it with a stranger.

[Anonymous]

Hell, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still have a strong memory of something similar on the metro over 10 years ago. A dad and his little kid (probably also around 4 or 5) were sitting together and two teenage boys got on and sat behind them. They were loudly conversing, using a lot profanity, not to be provocative, but clearly just part of their normal interaction. The dad waited until close to when he was going to get off, turned to them nicely and said something like "You know, my son really looks up to teenagers like you. He was really excited when you got on the train and sat by us. He listens to every word you say. Just something to think about when you choose your language in front of little ears." The boys sat up a little straighter and ended up having a nice little exchange with the dad and son. No one was shamed, and it was a nice little interaction to witness.

That was a perfectly appropriate way to handle it, but at the end of the day, that was an adult speaking to kids (teens) about other kids. That's not going to work with adults, it would be incredibly condescending and weird.

[Anonymous]

I said something once to the guy standing behind me waiting to check out at the grocery store. It was a long, slow line and he was cursing like a sailor while on the phone. I think I phrased it along the lines of "would you mind not swearing in front of little kids?" My son was maybe 3ish, but it didn't go over well with the guy.

Nobody likes to be called out and my kid is not one to mimic everything, so looking back, I'd say skip it. If its uncle Joey that comes over every weekend, that might be a different story.

[Anonymous]

Where was this crowded waiting room? We have not waited in a waiting room since March. We get called to come in when it's our turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't their job to raise your kid. Not every space is kid friendly.

Found the foul mouth curser! Look the op isn't asking the curser to raise their kid just show some respect.

I wouldn't approach any stranger because who knows what they would do but, I would talk to the receptionist.

I love to curse! I also have kids that I have been known to curse in front of from time to time. They are told they are adult words. I try my best not to curse in public, just don't think it's good manners, and certainly not in a loud way so that others hear me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be too chicken, but profanity really, really bothers me. It’s inherently rude, which now seems to be our culture’s thing. Drives me bonkers.

I am a pretty consistent profanity user. G-d, fck, mo-fo, but I also hold doors. Offer to walk people to theirs cars with my umbrella if they dont have one. Bring my older neighbors trash can onto her porch most weeks. My almost 3 year is very polite kid. He consistently says thank you, bless you, youre welcome, thank you for helping me, etc.

I assume I am judged by people like yourself who think its rude, but it is my vice of choice and at the end of the day, it doesnt endanger anyone.

Hmm..yeah just because it's your "vice of choice" doesn't mean it's ok. Even in public with just adults around, it's annoying when someone uses too many cuss words. Its just etiquette, basic civic sense to be decent in front of others, kids and adults, unless you are with company that is ok with it.

You need a medal for holding doors and helping neighbors? Your 3 year old might be polite right now but will also be the one that teaches the whole class words that they are too young to understand and then there are 20 families having conversations with the teacher and kids about why they are inappropriate. So, go ahead and think no one is being endangered and there are plenty like you and your kid who are a pain to deal politely with and give the rest of us an indication of which kid and families in the class to avoid having playdates with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be too chicken, but profanity really, really bothers me. It’s inherently rude, which now seems to be our culture’s thing. Drives me bonkers.

I am a pretty consistent profanity user. G-d, fck, mo-fo, but I also hold doors. Offer to walk people to theirs cars with my umbrella if they dont have one. Bring my older neighbors trash can onto her porch most weeks. My almost 3 year is very polite kid. He consistently says thank you, bless you, youre welcome, thank you for helping me, etc.

I assume I am judged by people like yourself who think its rude, but it is my vice of choice and at the end of the day, it doesnt endanger anyone.

Hmm..yeah just because it's your "vice of choice" doesn't mean it's ok. Even in public with just adults around, it's annoying when someone uses too many cuss words. Its just etiquette, basic civic sense to be decent in front of others, kids and adults, unless you are with company that is ok with it.

You need a medal for holding doors and helping neighbors? Your 3 year old might be polite right now but will also be the one that teaches the whole class words that they are too young to understand and then there are 20 families having conversations with the teacher and kids about why they are inappropriate. So, go ahead and think no one is being endangered and there are plenty like you and your kid who are a pain to deal politely with and give the rest of us an indication of which kid and families in the class to avoid having playdates with.

OMG seriously. Holier than thou rolllling through. While I agree that cursing crazy and loudly in a closed public space in unacceptable, I am saying that the occasional f** when you stub your toe shouldnt equal this type of reaction from people. I bring up the holding doors thing because people seem to think that cursing means you aren't a good person. There's no room for nuance anymore with some of you people. And stop threatening my kid with social isolation as a threat to change my behavior. Your mommy wars are worse than any cursing. You use your own children as weapons as a way to make other women feel small.

[Anonymous]

It depends on where I am, but I have gently suggested that my kid doesn’t need the language education. People are mostly nice about it if you don’t come at them aggressively. And if they don’t care and keep doing it, then of course I let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be too chicken, but profanity really, really bothers me. It’s inherently rude, which now seems to be our culture’s thing. Drives me bonkers.

I am a pretty consistent profanity user. G-d, fck, mo-fo, but I also hold doors. Offer to walk people to theirs cars with my umbrella if they dont have one. Bring my older neighbors trash can onto her porch most weeks. My almost 3 year is very polite kid. He consistently says thank you, bless you, youre welcome, thank you for helping me, etc.

I assume I am judged by people like yourself who think its rude, but it is my vice of choice and at the end of the day, it doesnt endanger anyone.

Hmm..yeah just because it's your "vice of choice" doesn't mean it's ok. Even in public with just adults around, it's annoying when someone uses too many cuss words. Its just etiquette, basic civic sense to be decent in front of others, kids and adults, unless you are with company that is ok with it.

You need a medal for holding doors and helping neighbors? Your 3 year old might be polite right now but will also be the one that teaches the whole class words that they are too young to understand and then there are 20 families having conversations with the teacher and kids about why they are inappropriate. So, go ahead and think no one is being endangered and there are plenty like you and your kid who are a pain to deal politely with and give the rest of us an indication of which kid and families in the class to avoid having playdates with.

OMG seriously. Holier than thou rolllling through. While I agree that cursing crazy and loudly in a closed public space in unacceptable, I am saying that the occasional f** when you stub your toe shouldnt equal this type of reaction from people. I bring up the holding doors thing because people seem to think that cursing means you aren't a good person. There's no room for nuance anymore with some of you people. And stop threatening my kid with social isolation as a threat to change my behavior. Your mommy wars are worse than any cursing. You use your own children as weapons as a way to make other women feel small.

Lady, calm down! You are now changing your tune from "pretty consistent" to "occasional". Do you have room for nuance when you equate what I said to 'mommy wars', 'threatening' you and your kid, using my kid as a 'weapon'. Good lord! your choice of words and level of outrage is amusing.

I am not in wars with anyone but if a preschooler curses in the class, I really would not be having playdates with them. It's not holier than thou attitude, it's just parenting. Your words would have an effect on your kid, you like it or not. It won't change no matter how much defend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on where I am, but I have gently suggested that my kid doesn’t need the language education. People are mostly nice about it if you don’t come at them aggressively. And if they don’t care and keep doing it, then of course I let it go.

Mostly I'd keep quiet and move from there. If I have to say something, I'd probably say something like - "Hi! Sorry, would you mind keeping the voices a little low please. Thank you." It's tricky though. You still might get a bad response.

[Anonymous]

The term thought police comes to mind.

Why must we raise our children to be so rigid? I keep a civil tongue around my kids. I've also taught my kids they aren't to use foul language. I've also taught my kids early on not to be little parrots and if an adult is having a conversation and not directly talking to them they need to tune it out. At least pretend not to listen.


I did once correct my friend for using foul language around children. We were at a playground. Beyond a child centered place like a playground or daycare, I cant imagine correcting anyone else. The world doesn't revolve around your child and its best your child understand that. Nothing is worse than the 20 year old who feels everyone should act and think as they do.