What’s the deal with a stone faced, cold person?

[Anonymous]

The person I know who is most like you describe is the adult child of a very abusive alcoholic. I think that person learned in childhood to hide/suppress emotion. It's very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

Yep, what I thought as well. I swear this is my SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

Yep, what I thought as well. I swear this is my SIL.

No, this isn't the situation. She's like this with everyone and talks badly about everyone. it's not about being vulnerable. She's the type to ask a lot of questions to get gossip about you but never show weakness herself or vulnerability and then proceed to tell others exactly what you said in a matter of fact way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

Yep, what I thought as well. I swear this is my SIL.

No, this isn't the situation. She's like this with everyone and talks badly about everyone. it's not about being vulnerable. She's the type to ask a lot of questions to get gossip about you but never show weakness herself or vulnerability and then proceed to tell others exactly what you said in a matter of fact way.

She sounds like a mean gossip who trades in information, not a "cold stone faced person."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

Yep, what I thought as well. I swear this is my SIL.

No, this isn't the situation. She's like this with everyone and talks badly about everyone. it's not about being vulnerable. She's the type to ask a lot of questions to get gossip about you but never show weakness herself or vulnerability and then proceed to tell others exactly what you said in a matter of fact way.

OP, you don't sound like a peach yourself. You sound very judgmental and intolerant actually. Try to get along. Try to be nice to her. Perhaps she isn't as socially aware as you seem to think you are and that's okay because the world needs all types of people. Make some space in your heart for people you don't think are as good as you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is usually the deal with someone with this personality type:
completely emotionless, cold, stone faced even hearing news of a death or major illness... very matter of fact and serious? This is a female.
Is this a personality anyone is drawn to? Is it a personality disorder or more?

I am like this, and I have a number of friends and a dh.

I just don't show my emotions with my family because half are hysterical and the other half can be mean and critical. It's also a result of anxiety I have when I feel emotions (see: dsyfunctional family.)

This is my reason, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

My thought as well.

Oh, I do this. I had not thought about it before someone else said it.

I have a dramatic relative who wants to tell me horrible news about people they don’t even know well. It always involves death or terrible things done to people. I grey rock now. It is so calming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is usually the deal with someone with this personality type:
completely emotionless, cold, stone faced even hearing news of a death or major illness... very matter of fact and serious? This is a female.
Is this a personality anyone is drawn to? Is it a personality disorder or more?

Severe social anxiety
Numb due to shock at news?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

Yep, what I thought as well. I swear this is my SIL.

No, this isn't the situation. She's like this with everyone and talks badly about everyone. it's not about being vulnerable. She's the type to ask a lot of questions to get gossip about you but never show weakness herself or vulnerability and then proceed to tell others exactly what you said in a matter of fact way.

OP, you don't sound like a peach yourself. You sound very judgmental and intolerant actually. Try to get along. Try to be nice to her. Perhaps she isn't as socially aware as you seem to think you are and that's okay because the world needs all types of people. Make some space in your heart for people you don't think are as good as you think you are.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s a reaction to people who seem to lack respect for privacy and personal boundaries and who have a tendency to inappropriately pathologist other people’s behavior.

This. Exactly this. When I read the OP my reaction is 'because you're a jerk and she's grey rocking you, you dummy OP.'

Yep, what I thought as well. I swear this is my SIL.

No, this isn't the situation. She's like this with everyone and talks badly about everyone. it's not about being vulnerable. She's the type to ask a lot of questions to get gossip about you but never show weakness herself or vulnerability and then proceed to tell others exactly what you said in a matter of fact way.

Sounds like you've already decided that the reason she's like this couldn't be any of the plausible reasons listed here, so why post? You've already decided she's just a bad person and want us to agree with you.

- Autistic woman who has been described as cold all my life (I have a few close friends and a happy marriage btw)

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have a job where you have to behave in a professional manner? You see incredibly biased and you think your way is the only way.

I used to be very emotional, but have learned to manage my emotions and cry in private even upon hearing awful news because I am expected to behave in a professional manner at all times. I have gotten so used to that I don't just shut it off at home. I process things privately.

My mother never had to hold down a job. She worked part time and despite not being able to manage her emotions she was needed enough they tolerated her. She, like you, pathologizes people who don't fall apart emotionally at bad news like death. She judges and badgers people who don't have the emotional reaction in front of her that she has deemed acceptable.