When / how did you move on from wanting another

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have three and I have been absolutely done the moment the third was born. We initially wanted two, but we kept thinking of another after the secondo was born... both DH and I wanted a third, but were afraid of admitting it. After the first and only birth control fail, I got pregnant with the third. We were both happy and scared. The third is amazing and we are very happy about our “accident“, but DH got a vasectomy a few months aft #3 was born and I have never thought of another baby since... I am done.. not sad... not nostalgic... nothing.

How old is #3? I felt this way after #2 - totally totally DONE. DH agreed and got a vasectomy when #2 turned 2. Well, about 2 years later when she turned 4 I really really wanted just one more. But we were stuck because he had already had the surgery and had no interest in undoing it or doing IVF. I don’t blame him for that, but really wished we didn’t jump the gun on his surgery. I’ve mostly gotten over it but still think about it now and then. #2 is now 9, so the third would be 4 if we’d had him/her when I wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three and I have been absolutely done the moment the third was born. We initially wanted two, but we kept thinking of another after the secondo was born... both DH and I wanted a third, but were afraid of admitting it. After the first and only birth control fail, I got pregnant with the third. We were both happy and scared. The third is amazing and we are very happy about our “accident“, but DH got a vasectomy a few months aft #3 was born and I have never thought of another baby since... I am done.. not sad... not nostalgic... nothing.

How old is #3? I felt this way after #2 - totally totally DONE. DH agreed and got a vasectomy when #2 turned 2. Well, about 2 years later when she turned 4 I really really wanted just one more. But we were stuck because he had already had the surgery and had no interest in undoing it or doing IVF. I don’t blame him for that, but really wished we didn’t jump the gun on his surgery. I’ve mostly gotten over it but still think about it now and then. #2 is now 9, so the third would be 4 if we’d had him/her when I wanted to.

#3 is 18 months, but I doubt I will ever change my mind. I am stretched to the maximum (especially during these times)... but more than that, I have no desire for another. I am 36 so not too old, but I feel I just turned a chapter and I feel complete. I did not feel like that ever after number 2 (And she was my most difficult baby)...

[Anonymous]

Never moved on, really, and silently cry every time I see a baby. I also don’t think I can’t fully forgive my husband for denying me the dream.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it will ever completely go away for me. My youngest is 6. We have been surgically done since the day he was born. But every time I am a day late, I secretly hope that somehow I am pregnant.

My mother once told me that she still has dreams sometimes that she is pregnant or just had a baby, and she wakes up so happy before she remembers where she is in time and space

[Anonymous]

A cold hard operating table while my body was being man handled like a rag doll.

[Anonymous]

Time.

Our lives would have been dramatically impacted by another child by the time DC was age 5 or 6 in ways that I found tipped the scales in favor of "no more." I began to firmly believe that the advantages of 1 outweighed the advantages of 2. And I still believe that, FOR OUR FAMILY.

By the time DC was 8 or 9 my career was on a trajectory that wouldn't be possible with another child (not in a hard-charging way, but in a logistical, life-satisfaction-and-balance way). I value my career very much, so this felt good to me.

I think that if the addition-at-issue is going from 1-2 that is painful because of the sibling vs. only dynamic (this was us).
If you already have 2 kids, just suck it up. That's enough.
If it's a fight about 0-1, that is gut wrenching, and I am so very sorry.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the midst of this too, OP. I want another, DH I think does too, but we had to pursue IF treatments for the first two and I really don't want to go through that again. So I guess I'm letting nature decide for me? I know most aren't in my same position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh doesn’t want another kid, I do. But it takes 2 yesses so I started the process of packing up baby stuff today. The tiny shoes, the carries, the sleepers, etc. and it’s so so hard and sad. When did you no longer feel the sadness when you see a baby if you wanted another and didn’t have one for whatever reason? Did anything help you move past it? Logically I can accept it and I can tell myself the 100 logical reasons all day, it’s just the emotional side

Grow up.