How young to leave alone next school year?

[Anonymous]

I think that 10 is fine IF they can set themselves up in the zoom classes. But, no for the 6 year old. Also, while you have to do what you have to do, leaving a 10 year old all day everyday is going to be really tough on the 10 year old. I'm sorry this is a struggle for you and others in your shoes. I hope you find something that works for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

6 is way too young. If I was desperate, I may leave them home for a day but no way for a year.

What are you doing now?

If I were you, I would try to find another single parent to try to move in with.

I know real estate admins don’t get paid a lot so I sympathize. I would reach out to local churches.

[Anonymous]

I have a 6 year old who I think would be fine at home all day with a 10 year old sibling, but that would be an absolute last resort option. My biggest concern would actually be a neighbor calling CPS on me, but it doesn't look like VA has a minimum age so legally you're probably fine. Are your kids calm, rule followers, who are happy to spend the entire day inside? I think if you set them up with a schedule, all snacks/meals prepared ahead, a few simple "cannot break" rules they'd do ok. That with a couple of cameras and a way to call you it's doable.

I wouldn't want to do that for a whole year though. You'll be stressed and they'll be bored. I think you need to work to find alternatives right up until you go back to the office, and keep looking even if you have to leave them on their own in the beginning.

-Have you asked your employer if you can work remotely? Half days remote?
-Can the kids come to work with you?
-Do you have room for live in help?
-Have you talked to your neighbors with kids about what they're doing. They/their babysitters might be willing to take on your 6 year old for less money than a dedicated childcare provider would.
-Maybe you can tap into a homeschooling network and work out a swap for weekend sitting or housework?
-Can you relocate to live with family?
-Have you started applying for other jobs? There are people still hiring for remote positions.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. You'll figure it out though, it's what moms do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are all so kind. I have tears in my eyes. It has been a hard last three years. Well, honestly longer but I still tried to slap a smile on my face and cover up the bubbling mental health issues. Finally it all boiled over and I found myself with a 3 year old and seven year old all alone.

We live near the Hybla Valley. I work 25 min away. We rent so we can always move, but as you can imagine my credit isn’t great currently so we are in a complex that allowed for that. I am an office admin in a real estate office so they are requiring I come in to do the in office tasks (mail, receive packages, make copies). I work until 4 which was great for kids, until, well COVID.

OP, could you post something within your complex to see who might be willing to watch the kids? I wonder if there's another parent with similarly aged kids, or a college kid who will be studying from home, or a retired neighbor who loves kids. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP I wish schools would figure out option for people who truly need childcare like you do and not drop the ball. Would your employer allow you to take your kids to work and setup in a quiet spot? There is no way I could leave a 6yo alone everyday and it’s too much to ask of your older child. Your 10yo can barely take care of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are all so kind. I have tears in my eyes. It has been a hard last three years. Well, honestly longer but I still tried to slap a smile on my face and cover up the bubbling mental health issues. Finally it all boiled over and I found myself with a 3 year old and seven year old all alone.

We live near the Hybla Valley. I work 25 min away. We rent so we can always move, but as you can imagine my credit isn’t great currently so we are in a complex that allowed for that. I am an office admin in a real estate office so they are requiring I come in to do the in office tasks (mail, receive packages, make copies). I work until 4 which was great for kids, until, well COVID.

It is NOT ILLEGAL to leave children at home. Many people falsely believe this but there are not laws only guidelines.
I don't think your situation is unique. If you can't find any neighbor who can watch them for an hour or two a day consider getting a in home camera so that you can check in frequently on them.
Consider asking neighbors with high school kids if they may want to babysit for $8 an hour. Yes, before people blast me, that is cheap but OP is cash strapped and Hybla Valley is a pretty low income area so expectations on hourly pay aren't as high as in NW DC. Some kids just need to make some money and they already know their neighbors aren't rich.

[Anonymous]

Try some of the pandemic pod pages on fb. Some of these pages have reached thousands of members. They try to match people with other local families. Some are hiring tutors. An article mentioned that some of the parents putting these groups together want to include single moms. They might let you contribute what you can afford toward a tutor.

A 10 year old might be able to do their own school work and provide adequate supervision for a younger sibling, if super responsible, but it would be unfair to expect someone that age to keep the 6 year old focused on school work.

[Anonymous]

Would they be content to stay inside during the day? If the neighbors start seeing them outside unsupervised every day then that could become a big problem if they call to report you.

[Anonymous]

Here are some options:

Apply for government assistance, hire sitter

See if you can get the 6yr old into some sort of essential childcare center - YMCA, maybe?

Leave the 10yr old, take the 6yr old to work with you

Where is your family? Consider leaving job and moving in with a relative. School will be DL for a long time.

[Anonymous]

I know you are not homeless but it sounds like you’re at risk for losing your job if you can’t find care. That would put you in a hard situation very quickly.

If you’re in Maryland: The Greentree Shelter (GTS) has the capacity to serve 13 families and children who are homeless and from Montgomery County, Maryland. These families have limited income, education, and vocational skills. Many are at a disadvantage due to lack of education, inadequate vocational skills, and little to no support from family and friends and as a result, benefit from the support of the GTS team. The Greentree Shelter provides homeless families with multiple opportunities to improve their social and economic condition and regain family self-sufficiency.
Services:
Shelter
Food
Clothing, and laundry facilities
Individual, group, and family counseling
Intensive case management
Parent education and resources
Life skills training
On-site childcare services
After school program and tutoring
Substance abuse education and prevention
Computer lab and training
Employment assistance
Client advocacy
Community referrals
Recreation and volunteer supports

Contact Information:
https://www.nccf-cares.org/family-services/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s illegal to leave a 6 year old with a less than 13 year old in MD.

Well, it’s going to happen...a lot.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. As others have said there is no legal age limit to leaving your child home in VA. https://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/dfs/cps/intro_page/publications/general/alone.pdf. That is from family services. They do mention maturity, accessibility of the parent, and situation for their determination. Even the counties don't have any laws, just guidelines that are open to interpretation.

I would use some nest or other cameras inside the house that you can periodically check on during the day. I assume the 10 year old is old enough to call if anything is a problem and should know to call 911 if there is a true emergency.

Good luck. Sorry the schools and teachers are doing this to you.

[Anonymous]

OP back. Just now had the opportunity to check back in. I appreciate all the ideas and collective brainstorming. The cameras are a good idea and are something I will start investigating.

My job is fairly inflexible unfortunately. I worked 8-4 which seemed to fit perfectly with the elementary school schedule. I’ve been looking into Boys and Girls clubs since that is about what we can afford. However, I feel like there is still some ambiguity in their opening.

I do admit I haven’t made many tight connections to my neighbors mostly due to me being in crisis mode the last few years and just trying to keep our heads above water. That is something I need to work on in the coming weeks.

Thank you all again for your kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all so kind. I have tears in my eyes. It has been a hard last three years. Well, honestly longer but I still tried to slap a smile on my face and cover up the bubbling mental health issues. Finally it all boiled over and I found myself with a 3 year old and seven year old all alone.

We live near the Hybla Valley. I work 25 min away. We rent so we can always move, but as you can imagine my credit isn’t great currently so we are in a complex that allowed for that. I am an office admin in a real estate office so they are requiring I come in to do the in office tasks (mail, receive packages, make copies). I work until 4 which was great for kids, until, well COVID.

It is NOT ILLEGAL to leave children at home. Many people falsely believe this but there are not laws only guidelines.
I don't think your situation is unique. If you can't find any neighbor who can watch them for an hour or two a day consider getting a in home camera so that you can check in frequently on them.
Consider asking neighbors with high school kids if they may want to babysit for $8 an hour. Yes, before people blast me, that is cheap but OP is cash strapped and Hybla Valley is a pretty low income area so expectations on hourly pay aren't as high as in NW DC. Some kids just need to make some money and they already know their neighbors aren't rich.

It is illegal to leave the kids at home all day for 8-9 hours at that age. See if you can put them in an extra office or somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you are not homeless but it sounds like you’re at risk for losing your job if you can’t find care. That would put you in a hard situation very quickly.

If you’re in Maryland: The Greentree Shelter (GTS) has the capacity to serve 13 families and children who are homeless and from Montgomery County, Maryland. These families have limited income, education, and vocational skills. Many are at a disadvantage due to lack of education, inadequate vocational skills, and little to no support from family and friends and as a result, benefit from the support of the GTS team. The Greentree Shelter provides homeless families with multiple opportunities to improve their social and economic condition and regain family self-sufficiency.
Services:
Shelter
Food
Clothing, and laundry facilities
Individual, group, and family counseling
Intensive case management
Parent education and resources
Life skills training
On-site childcare services
After school program and tutoring
Substance abuse education and prevention
Computer lab and training
Employment assistance
Client advocacy
Community referrals
Recreation and volunteer supports

Contact Information:
https://www.nccf-cares.org/family-services/

They are a homeless shelter. Do you know what you are talking about? You have to go through the county homeless program and qualify. This has nothing to do with OP topic as they don't provide child care for those who need it. She can apply for the working parent child care voucher program but why would she go to a shelter?