If you're asking my high school and college-aged daughters to babysit, what are you thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last person I would ask to babysit my kids is a teenager! The only people I see regularly gathering in large groups are teenagers. My own teenager swore he always wore his mask and stays six feet from his friends came home with a hickey on his neck. Not sure how that happened from a distance.

OK, that’s hilarious. I hope you mocked him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Get a teenager...” is common advice here for all those who don’t have teenagers. And then they want to underpay them, make them walk home alone in the dark, and not let them eat.

No, I am not OP. Go back and read this forum. Parent posters are constantly responding about underpaying teenage babysitters, demanding they have their own transportation home and pissed that they get hungry.

Really? Haven't seen that at all. Are you also OP?

I’ve seen plenty...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice for you that they don't need the money. Some do.

Once again, poor kids being exploited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for OPs daughters. I know quite a few high school and college aged kids who are babysitting this summer. They have zero.issues with it. Op sounds slightly unhinged

This is a bit much. It’s fine to feel uncomfortable being in close proximity to another family - especially young kids! That said, it’s a little odd that OP is getting offended by being asked. Saying no is fine, saying yes is fine. All the anxiety over being approached is not.

[Anonymous]

You sound crazy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me start by saying that I have the utmost sympathy for parents of young children who are trying to work at home this summer when daycare and camp opportunities are limited.

But . . . when you ask my high school and college-aged daughters to babysit do you not realize how risky that could be for your family and for ours? My daughters, who have been much in demand over the years as sitters and who truly love kids (as well as the money they've earned -- thank you), are besieged with requests to babysit this summer. They are turning all of these down because they just don't see it as reasonably safe -- and my husband and I agree completely.

Folks, you may not be aware of this, but like many families with young adults in residence, we are stretching our bubble for essential activities -- most notably BLM demonstrations -- but also other activities, which we deem to be an acceptable for our family, but which we cannot, in good conscience, expose you to. Yet, even when our daughters explain this to parents, they do not seem to get it.

And, conversely, we don't know how observant you and your adorable children are of social-distancing, mask-wearing and other public health guidelines. So, please don't ask us to take on your risk portfolio.

I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but please just think of it as a public service announcement brought to you by Karen. (And, no, that is not my real name.)

Many families need child care to keep their jobs. Many teens need the money for every day things or college. You are lucky you don't. We would never ask someone in a family like yours as there is no social distancing but some teens are great kids and are social distancing and have common sense to keep safe. If its one teen working for one family all summer and both are careful its fine. Teens in your home aren't fine and you are teaching your kids that rules don't apply to them. Good luck with that.

My preteens haven't seen any friends or been out of the house except walks or biking with a parent or maybe 4 car rides where they didn't leave the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last person I would ask to babysit my kids is a teenager! The only people I see regularly gathering in large groups are teenagers. My own teenager swore he always wore his mask and stays six feet from his friends came home with a hickey on his neck. Not sure how that happened from a distance.

That is a parenting failure to agree knowing they they are not distancing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know who requested the post about volunteering be deleted. While volunteering is out of the question for a teen in a group childcare situation, volunteering in general is not.

OP, I understand your apprehension about covid. Most people with complications have underlying conditions, but some don’t. And as people start to go out more and more, cases are picking up around the country.

My suggestion is to find ways to volunteer (definitely them, if they don’t have anything else constructive to do, possibly you as well) that limit your possible exposure. It’s frustrating to realize how many vectors are added with every small decision to do one other thing. Finding out what the community needs (poll food banks, domestic abuse shelters, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, etc) and posting the needs on message boards means no added exposure, but your kids could be doing a much needed service and getting help to those who need it.

If they are going to BLM events, then they are already expanding possible exposure. They could find someone who NEEDS childcare, someone who is an essential worker and likely can’t afford to pay for in home care normally. Frankly, if they’re already attending BLM events, they’re not really increasing their exposure by much, and this is important. If they truly care, each offering a certain number of hours per week for free would make a huge difference for a family. Probably the easiest way to do it would be to have the teen work t/th and the adult work m/w/f for the same family, making a difference in a way that attendance at a protest just doesn’t get close to doing.

While I agree with the premise behind the protests and every individual’s right to free speech and protest, I don’t agree with the lack of social distancing and masks at the events, nor do I believe attending a protest is essential. Protesting is important, but making a difference in someone’s life is more impact in a more meaningful way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm thinking that if I am speaking to a college student, then I am speaking to an adult who can drink, vote, buy a gun, serve in the military, drive, serve as a nurse, become a lifeguard, fly a plane, get a tattoo, go parachuting, hire an attorney, operate a forklift, buy marijuana, sign over power of attorney, become an organ donor, participate in an orgy, and take a knee during the National Anthem.

In other words, if I want to make a phone call to another adult, I will, and it has nothing to do with you.

Whether they accept my offer is between me and them.

Depends. College kids could be 17, and not legal to do much of that until their birthday in the fall (just graduated). Or they could be 18-20 and legal for most of your list. But frankly, if they live in OP’s home, OP has the right to set boundaries. If they choose to move out, then they get to make choices about exposure for themselves.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you are upset that people are asking. There's some sort of poor boundaries going on these days, where people feel like there's something wrong if they have to say "no" to a request. It's fine to ask, it's fine to say no. That's how the world should work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last person I would ask to babysit my kids is a teenager! The only people I see regularly gathering in large groups are teenagers. My own teenager swore he always wore his mask and stays six feet from his friends came home with a hickey on his neck. Not sure how that happened from a distance.

OK, that’s hilarious. I hope you mocked him.

Agreed. Hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the privilege that lies beneath the logic - we will go to BLM events because those are essential but not work a menial job because that is a risk. My teen is babysitting this Summer because she won’t be able to buy books next semester if she doesn’t. She is not going to BLM events because she is working.

+1. I hate the phrase, but...you seriously need to check your privilege, OP. You're going to BLM events because it makes you feel self-righteous, just like it makes you feel self-righteous to chide others who are desperately trying to keep their jobs and take care of their much-loved children. Another PP who suggested your kids, if they really want to "do good" (and I'm not saying they're as oblivious as you, because they may well not be), would be better off offering free childcare to low-wage workers of color, was spot-on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re obnoxious, OP.

Totally.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are absolutely ridiculous. What a privileged bubble you live in. Newsflash, not all of us can afford to work at home and there are many teens and young adults helping their families out financially as well as themselves. My goodness. Please mind your own business and stfu next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So don’t OP. People are thinking that they need to work and it’s near impossible with little kids.

My teen is looking for babysitting jobs. If you don’t get it, move on. No reason to try to make other people feel like they are compromising their health because they need a sitter.

They are compromising their health though. Perhaps they've done the risk calculation and feel it is worth it, but let's at least be honest about what we're doing and are in turn asking of others.